For Marquis

[Betticus]

It has occurred to me just this evening in a moment of epiphany that in my own mind I have what seems to be an overwhelming plethora of thoughts, ideas and dreams that are all occurring at once to the extent where I cannot keep track of even one of them.

It's like I have many minds at once, many persona's and they are all competing for attention on the same level. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. I can only really operate on the normal plane of being when I actively shut down what seems to be most of my mind.

Is this what it's like to be bipolar?

It feels like I have every persona of humanity both past and present operating inside me at the same time. It's a bit overwhelming.

Any thoughts, ideas or opinions?

 

[myinnerslut]

i'm not marquis, but....

i have a feeling that "what it feels like to be bipolar" might differ from case to case. i 'm also bipolar. diagnosed when i was 11. the overwhelming plethora of ideas sounds familiar, and is usually paired with lots and lots and lots of energyand the feeling of lost control.... of course theres the flip side of not wanting to move or do anything and hating the world. hope i helped a tiny bit.

 

[Betticus]

i have a feeling that "what it feels like to be bipolar" might differ from case to case. i 'm also bipolar. diagnosed when i was 11. the overwhelming plethora of ideas sounds familiar, and is usually paired with lots and lots and lots of energyand the feeling of lost control.... of course theres the flip side of not wanting to move or do anything and hating the world. hope i helped a tiny bit.

Sweetness, I can sleep for more than 14 hours in a day if I let myself stay in bed.

I have to make a doctors appointment now though so I'll chat later.

 

[Betticus]

Okay, I have an appointment for 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. Wednesday, september 12th with my doc.

Now I just have to iron out what I'm going to tell this doc. Depression is one thing but with the nuances of lack of humanity that I have I think that perhaps I should supply more information.

I'm not a bad person, it just seems that way since I don't feel much right now.

 

[Netzach]

Can also be garden variety depression and the detachement associated. Done it to a degree.

Sometimes the movies you wind up watching yourself in are kind of interesting.

Still not too cool.

 

[Betticus]

Can also be garden variety depression and the detachement associated. Done it to a degree.

Sometimes the movies you wind up watching yourself in are kind of interesting.

Still not too cool.

I don't know Netz. In the movies in my mind people are degraded to their components. Blood, bone, muscle, fat, skin. Etc...

In my dreams I kill the people that i actually care for in real life. In my dreams.

I don't want to hurt anyone! I just don't know if I can trust myself around people of lower moral value than me.

 

[poppy1963]

I don't know Netz. In the movies in my mind people are degraded to their components. Blood, bone, muscle, fat, skin. Etc...

In my dreams I kill the people that i actually care for in real life. In my dreams.

I don't want to hurt anyone! I just don't know if I can trust myself around people of lower moral value than me.

Betticus...are you seeing your GP or a psychiatrist tomorrow? I spent 8 years as a therapist treating both unipolar and bipolar depression in conjunction with a full team of treatment providers. I see you are recognizing the risks associated with some of the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing these days. Some of the things you are describing can be associated with other diagnoses as well. But whoever you see tomorrow, tell them exactly how you've been feeling. What's the point of keeping anything back? Ya know?

I will be thinking of you and am glad you are reaching out here as well. As you see, you are not alone in all this.

 

[Netzach]

I don't know Netz. In the movies in my mind people are degraded to their components. Blood, bone, muscle, fat, skin. Etc...

In my dreams I kill the people that i actually care for in real life. In my dreams.

I don't want to hurt anyone! I just don't know if I can trust myself around people of lower moral value than me.

Take the advice of the poster above me.

I had a lot of apocolyptic dreams when I was depressed. Dead babies and flooding and the WTC coming down on my head long before it actually did. It's not the same, but you are dealing with some heavy shit and definitely doing the right thing in gettting help dealing with it.

 

[SirFace]

Okay, I have an appointment for 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. Wednesday, september 12th with my doc..

You sure its not for today? or did you mean the 13th?

 

[poppy1963]

Take the advice of the poster above me.

I had a lot of apocolyptic dreams when I was depressed. Dead babies and flooding and the WTC coming down on my head long before it actually did. It's not the same, but you are dealing with some heavy shit and definitely doing the right thing in gettting help dealing with it.

Hmmm...that must have been something when the WTC did come down...have you had other prophetic stuff in your dreams?

 

[Netzach]

Hmmm...that must have been something when the WTC did come down...have you had other prophetic stuff in your dreams?

No, I am definitely not psychic, was just really really depressed. I also worked in the WTC for a while, so it's not shocking that I dreamt I was in the lobby of it.

 

[Marquis]

It's so funny that I just saw this now.

I'm so glad you made your appointment Betticus.

Looking forward to talking with you again when we can concentrate on one subject for more than 5 seconds.

I'll give you a call tomorrow to see how it went.

 

[John Doe]

If my mind feels like a jumble, it helps me to write the thoughts down and sort them out. Even if I don't keep the notes, if I get those feelings out and I can see them in black and white, it helps me be calm and get a grip on things.

 

[kiten69]

Now I just have to iron out what I'm going to tell this doc. Depression is one thing but with the nuances of lack of humanity that I have I think that perhaps I should supply more information.

I'm not a bad person, it just seems that way since I don't feel much right now.

What to tell him...well tell him everything...if he doesn't know EXACTLY whats in that sexy bald head of yours how can he treat you properly...

as for being a bad person, i do not believe so ...really The Betticus is just a...oh, wait someones at the door, brb

 

[Betticus]

What to tell him...well tell him everything...if he doesn't know EXACTLY whats in that sexy bald head of yours how can he treat you properly...

as for being a bad person, i do not believe so ...really The Betticus is just a...oh, wait someones at the door, brb

*spankspankspankspankspank*

 

[FurryFury]

If my mind feels like a jumble, it helps me to write the thoughts down and sort them out. Even if I don't keep the notes, if I get those feelings out and I can see them in black and white, it helps me be calm and get a grip on things.

That's a really therapeutic thing IMO too. It's helped me, often.

Fury

 

[chris9]

Hey Betticus,
I am time-confused, so I'm not sure if I'm too early with this, but how did your appointment go?

 

[LunarKitten]

The fact that you recognize the thoughts as something that can turn into a problem is a good sign. I hope everything went well with your doctor's appointment *huggles*

 

[poppy1963]

I, too, am waiting how to hear how things went. Betticus! Please let us know!

 

[Marquis]

Yeah Betticus, how'd they go?

 

[Aeroil]

He's in the padded room now I bet.

 

[Marquis]

He's in the padded room now I bet.

He will be soon if he doesn't straighten up and fly right.

 

[kiten69]

He's in the padded room now I bet.

Actually i just talked with him a while ago and he was putting a lawn mower moter back together, after he took it apart and cleaned it and did all that manly stuff to it so he can battle the jungle he has growing in his yard...

 

[Marquis]

Actually i just talked with him a while ago and he was putting a lawn mower moter back together, after he took it apart and cleaned it and did all that manly stuff to it so he can battle the jungle he has growing in his yard...

He's going to be very busy with a lot of projects for a while.

 

[Betticus]

Yeah, I checked my schedule today:

Wake up, scratch manly area.
Lay in bed for thirty minutes wishing I was still asleep.
Check stalker messages.
Torture kiten.
Breakfast.
Work on lawnmower.
Tease kiten.
Go to auto parts store for stuff to work on lawnmower with.
Watch CSI while cleaning parts.
Tease kiten some more.
Run out of daylight.
Stalk the internets.
Shower.
Tease kiten again, talk about spankings.
Go to the club and watch my buddies show.
Make kiten go to bed.
Leave out cookies for Graceanne to find.
Annoy random people.
Sleep.