Flashbacks - Yes or No?

[Ommichron]

Some of you may have read my short piece entitled “Crying in the Rain”. I have been gratified by the number of people who have felt sufficiently moved to rate it. Thank you!

It was quite a moving piece for me to write because, although not personal, I have been involved in a similar experience. I felt very “raw” after having written it, and I felt that I needed to give my MC closure and healing (if not some form of closure for me, too).

I think I would need to use flashbacks/memory recalls to bring additional (earlier) background into the story as the MC thinks about events before “Crying in the Rain.” (I don’t want to write a “prequel” because that would detract from the story's impact.) I know that this sort of story mechanic can become a real mess, so please, can I have your thoughts on it and on the points below?

• Should I distinguish between the narrative and the flashback by using italics (which can make the text more difficult to read for some people) or some other way? Is it OK to make no distinction in visual impact and expect the reader to decipher/unravel the two stories? (I suspect the answer to this one will be a resounding “No”!)
• Should the flashbacks be in chronological order so that the backstory follows a logical sequence, weaving through the main story, or is the more random approach as incidents trigger the MC into thinking about past events, potentially making it unnecessarily complex?

Thanks very much!



For those who might want to check out “Crying in the Rain”: https://www.literotica.com/s/crying-in-the-rain

 

[Djmac1031]

Simplest solution is to use "Then" / "Now" headers at the top of the appropriate section, along with perhaps a divider of sorts to allow readers to know you've changed the timeline.

Crude example:

Now

I sat in the chair and thought back to how it all began.

***

Then

We first met when...

 

[Ommichron]

Yes, I have tried to use things like "...and my mind drifted." to show where the flashback was occurring, but I'm not sure that's sufficiently "obvious".

Thanks for taking the time to respond!

 

[Bazzle]

I just always think of the TV/movies and soft focus...

Yes, flashbacks are good!

 

[TheLobster]

The other option that doesn't require additional typography is to use tenses to distinguish both timeframes. That doesn't work if you want the entire story to be in the past tense, of course.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If the flashback passages are longer than a few paragraphs, better to use some kind of scene separator to mark them. Something like a line of asterisks will do, e.g.:

* * * * *

Chronological order: depends on what the story needs. Chronological is generally simpler to follow, but it's also important to consider pacing.

e.g. one of my stories has seven years' worth of non-sexual backstory. Before I dump that backstory on them, I need to get them invested enough in the story that they'll actually hang around for seven years' worth of backstory.

 

[SimonDoom]

I think the guiding principle is clarity. If you do it in a way that is clear to the reader, then it's fine.

I prefer NOT to use special formats like italics unless the flashback passages are very short. I personally do not enjoy reading long passages in italics. For a longer flashback, I recommending setting it off with asterisks or in a separate chapter.

There's no need to have them all in chronological order, but think carefully about your purpose in ordering them. If there's a good reason for them not to be chronological, then that's fine.

 

[Lifestyle66]

In the two stories in which I needed to bring out the details of the past, I used a counselor in one and a therapist/psychologist in the other. The MC could then tale the story of what they experienced and felt.

I often open a story with a "prologue" where I show a scene out of the current timeline, such as a future event to catch the reader's attention. But I make it apparent in the opening context of the next Intro section where the timeline starts. So, in the first one or two lines of each section, separated with visual cues that the scene changed, you reset the reader's mind to the new sequence.

But I've read some stories which did that far too often, and it detracts from a good read. One story flip-flopped back and forth so often, I thought "Just pick a fucking story and tell it!"

 

[MelissaBaby]

First of all, I think the term "flashback" is not helpful. It comes from film, where there are multiple easy ways to transition time periods. Written literature it can be much trickier. I think it makes more sense to think in terms of "non-sequential narrative."

To me, what that means is that, while you are changing the time and probably the location of events, it usually needs to fit into the mood and style of the main narrative (Although having a jarring change can definitely work in the right story).

I am dead set against using italics or some other typography to mark the flashback. I think readers find that confusing. Is this a flashback? A dream? A fantasy?

There is also the simple expedient of a narrative note (that's a good place to use italics, or bold)

Four years earlier...

Or simply insert a date.

May 14, 1999


My preference though, is to incorporate the flashback into the narrative, weaving from present to past without any sort of break.

An example from my series, Mary and Alvin:

Mary and Alvin have been dating for a while. She is spending the night at his house for the first time. Alvin is a widower, and seeing the place he lived with his late wife, Bonnie, has naturally made her curious about her. She asks him how they met, and he explains (in dialogue) that he fell in an ice storm and injured his arm. Bonnie was a nurse on duty that night.

He stopped talking and Mary thought he had said all he was going to say. But then he began speaking again. Mary lay quietly listening. He told her about helping Bonnie clear the ice from her car windows, struggling to use the scraper with his one good arm. He told how she had given him her number, but it had blurred in the rain,and how he had come to the hospital again the next day to find her.

"Funny thing, though. When I found her and asked her out, she said no."

"Why did she say no?"

Bonnie had a boyfriend, or at least, a guy she was seeing. His name was David LePierre. He was a paramedic she had met while doing her nurse's training. Alvin asked her why, if that was the case, she had given him her number.

"Well, you were so kind, helping me with the ice, even with your injured wrist."

"Winter ain't over," he replied, "might be a chance I'm kind again."

I think that sort of flow between past and present is far more elegant and maintains the emotional tenor of the narrative far better than interrupting or transitioning with inserts or font changes. It can be tricky, but I think it's worth the extra effort.

 

[TheRedChamber]

My view on flashbacks is that you should only use them if there's really no other way. If you are looking at a (possibly mental) outline and thinking it looks messy, it probably will be.

I'm also kind of wary about writing something that sounds like both a prequel and a sequel at the same time to the first story.

(People will probably jump in with tens of examples of classic media where its worked brilliantly now - like, idk, Godfather 2? I cant even remember how that worked.)

 

[ElectricBlue]

I wouldn't use italics. Clearly establish in the first sentence or two in each flashback sequence when the events took place. Do the same thing when returning to now.

* * * *

I'd also separate sections with a simple break.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

I used one flashback in my second series and liked it so much that my third series has at least one major flashback scene in each chapter, and chapter one started with a flashback scene.

I have started using headers with the day, approximate time and year, and then the location to delineate where and when that section of a chapter takes place. I use a * * * to end all my scenes and tell the reader we’re shifting. This seems to work well and hasn’t caused any noticeable confusion,

Here’s what it looks like:

Last sentence of previous scene…

* * *

Tuesday afternoon, July 13th, 1983
The Oasis, Las Vegas

Scene starts here…

 

[ronde]

First of all, I think the term "flashback" is not helpful. It comes from film, where there are multiple easy ways to transition time periods. Written literature it can be much trickier. I think it makes more sense to think in terms of "non-sequential narrative."

To me, what that means is that, while you are changing the time and probably the location of events, it usually needs to fit into the mood and style of the main narrative (Although having a jarring change can definitely work in the right story).

I am dead set against using italics or some other typography to mark the flashback. I think readers find that confusing. Is this a flashback? A dream? A fantasy?

There is also the simple expedient of a narrative note (that's a good place to use italics, or bold)

Four years earlier...

Or simply insert a date.

May 14, 1999


My preference though, is to incorporate the flashback into the narrative, weaving from present to past without any sort of break.

An example from my series, Mary and Alvin:

Mary and Alvin have been dating for a while. She is spending the night at his house for the first time. Alvin is a widower, and seeing the place he lived with his late wife, Bonnie, has naturally made her curious about her. She asks him how they met, and he explains (in dialogue) that he fell in an ice storm and injured his arm. Bonnie was a nurse on duty that night.




I think that sort of flow between past and present is far more elegant and maintains the emotional tenor of the narrative far better than interrupting or transitioning with inserts or font changes. It can be tricky, but I think it's worth the extra effort.

I've used these methods because they make the story flow well from the present to the past and back to the present.

The method I abhor reading is when the past experience has the lead-off of "Flashback to ..." This is disruptive and tells me the author either has a significant lack of creative imagination or is just lazy.

 

[Ommichron]

Very many thanks to all of you for taking the time to respond. I’ve summarised the main points as I read them, and those of you who have made specific comments, I’ve tried to address them below. (I’ve also taken onboard @MelissaBaby’s point about the use of “Flashbacks” and will refer to them as NSN’s – Non-Sequential Narratives!)

• No italics!
• Separators – asterisks (perhaps using <p align="center">Center Aligned Text Here</p>) or <hr>
• Then/now subheadings and/or dates. Alternatively, a statement to show the change, e.g. “My mind went back to the day when…” “TEXT” “I snapped out of it and…”
• Chronological order is simpler to follow, but not essential. It needs to be clear.

@TheLobster – I like the use of different tenses to distinguish the timeframes. I’ve read some excellent examples, but I don’t think it would work for me. I don’t like writing in the present tense, and doing something I’m uncomfortable with would be counterproductive.

@Lifestyle66 – I accept your point about the flip-flopping. Guilty as charged! I’m rewriting, the NSN passages are longer than the main narrative in places! However, having already written and published the story I want to close down, I think I’m a little stuck and need the backstory. What I need to look at is how much of the backstory is truly necessary. I have taken one long NSN and put it right at the start of the story, with the effect that the story starts a few days after the close of “Crying”, rather than 6 weeks after the baby's birth, as I had originally planned.

@MelissaBaby – I know there will be other situations where it will work, but the way I’m writing it, the NSNs occur when the MC is on their own, mostly doing something that doesn’t require much concentration. In one case, the baby is being fed, and the MC's mind wanders off into the past.

@TheRedChamber – Yes, I agree, and I think that I need to use NSNs in these particular circumstances. I have to be particularly careful with how plans appear to me and how they might appear to others, because I am neurodivergent, and for want of a better way of putting it, my brain is wired differently. Something that might appear messy to you can appear quite neat and ordered to me!


Once again, thank you all very much for your help, it’s very much appreciated!

 

[WordsIntheWyld]

I hate using flashbacks, like, it genuinely hurts my soul every time I type one. That being said, allow me to engage full hypocrite mode… because sometimes, they’re necessary. Painfully, annoyingly, ugh-inducingly necessary.

 

[TiberiusPrime]

Easiest way for me is to put in the story: "20 years ago..." Very self-explanatory.

 

[draco519]

One thing I've done in the past when working on something during a conversation. The context was that a husband and wife had lost a child, stillborn. In her grief, the wife completely zoned out for years. She shut her husband out, completely. And in turn? He, time and again, tried to reach her. To reach for her comfort for himself as well as try to comfort her. She shut down entirely. He wound up cheating just to feel something other than alone. (he's not entirely the "bad guy" of the story. It's a whole two sides thing)

So there was this argument they were having, and I used italics and just did it something along the lines of..

Please, just talk to me! Yell at me. Hate me if you must! "Will you still not even look at me?" He asked, desperate, even now, to bring some spark of life back to blue eyes that sparkled once.

Leave me alone, please... "I remember, you know." There was a spark in her sapphire eyes now; one he likely didn't want to see. An azure flame of indignant. "...the cost of trusting you."

It led to this interesting plot mechanic of telling two stories at once.

 

[Ommichron]

because sometimes, they’re necessary. Painfully, annoyingly, ugh-inducingly necessary.

Yup! Could include a trigger warning: "Contains flashbacks - You have been warned!"

Seriously though, thanks for taking the time to respond!

 

[NuclearFairy]

I used a dream sequence to show a flashback, it was supposed to be discordant and jarring and the reader wasn't supposed to know what was going on at first. I tried to accomplish this by changing perspectives for the scene. The rest of my story is written in third person, but the dream was written in first person, which switched to a mixture of first and third when he realized that he was having a dream over which he had no control. I know it's a dream and not a waking flashback, so might not be helpful.

 

[Ommichron]

@draco519 I can see this working when there are two or more characters interacting, but I have some difficulty seeing how it would work for a single character on their own. Perhaps you could point me in the direction of a piece which does this? Thanks!

 

[Ommichron]

I used a dream sequence to show a flashback, it was supposed to be discordant and jarring and the reader wasn't supposed to know what was going on at first. I tried to accomplish this by changing perspectives for the scene. The rest of my story is written in third person, but the dream was written in first person, which switched to a mixture of first and third when he realized that he was having a dream over which he had no control. I know it's a dream and not a waking flashback, so might not be helpful.

It IS helpful, thank you. I'm having to think hard about how I'm going to justify calling it erotic fiction (of any sort), when it's full of sadness (at the start, anyway!). I've been considering the dream option.

 

[draco519]

@Ommichron I'm not gonna lie.. I joined lit forums in 2020, but i've never shared any of my writing on lit. I've yet to decide whether or not I should; I'd like to be a published author and sell my books, and I worry of trying to copyright it if it's posted on the internet. Many publishers that have reviewed my work have asked if it's posted online anywhere.

But i've also written things like that with a single character, as well. I don't have an example right now, but.... If I were to guess?

Dorian crept through the halls of the now defunct orphanage, the moonlight interrupted only by the shifting trees through the windows and spattering shattered shadows on the walls in front of him and supplemented his sputtering flashlight. He beheld a specific stain on the cheap, floral wallpaper that had ages as poorly as Sister Agnes had; faded and degraded with time. The stain was her coffee cup.

"Boys!" Sister Agnes's mug sloshed her dark liquid upon the wall, running down the new wallpaper in dark rivulets whilst her free hand braced on her cane. Her kind eyes complimenting her wrinkled smile as they ran past. "No running in the halls! The Lord will take your legs - or my hip!"

The memory of Sister Agnes, and more kindness than he'd ever known or felt he deserved caused a Dorian's eyes to mist. He sniffled, smacking the flashlight against his hand as he carried on, trying to avoid the parts of the wooden floors that were clearly rotted.

 

[Ommichron]

@Ommichron ichron I'm not gonna lie.. I joined lit forums in 2020, but i've never shared any of my writing on lit. I've yet to decide whether or not I should; I'd like to be a published author and sell my books, and I worry of trying to copyright it if it's posted on the internet. Many publishers that have reviewed my work have asked if it's posted online anywhere.

But i've also written things like that with a single character, as well. I don't have an example right now, but.... If I were to guess?

Dorian crept through the halls of the now defunct orphanage, the moonlight interrupted only by the shifting trees through the windows and spattering shattered shadows on the walls in front of him and supplemented his sputtering flashlight. He beheld a specific stain on the cheap, floral wallpaper that had ages as poorly as Sister Agnes had; faded and degraded with time. The stain was her coffee cup.

"Boys!" Sister Agnes's mug sloshed her dark liquid upon the wall, running down the new wallpaper in dark rivulets whilst her free hand braced on her cane. Her kind eyes complimenting her wrinkled smile as they ran past. "No running in the halls! The Lord will take your legs - or my hip!"

The memory of Sister Agnes, and more kindness than he'd ever known or felt he deserved caused a Dorian's eyes to mist. He sniffled, smacking the flashlight against his hand as he carried on, trying to avoid the parts of the wooden floors that were clearly rotted.

Understand your reluctance to publish here. I have no desire to be a published author...now ! I'm far too long in the tooth to be bothered.

Thanks for the little snippet, and for clarifying. I will see if that works for me somewhere! Thank you

 

[draco519]

Happy to help!

 

[NuclearFairy]

It IS helpful, thank you. I'm having to think hard about how I'm going to justify calling it erotic fiction (of any sort), when it's full of sadness (at the start, anyway!). I've been considering the dream option.

I could link you if you want to see how I did it, but it's a flashback to a rape so it would not be a very comfortable read.