Fisting question

[WillowPuss]

I am having trouble being fisted.

I so want this ... and I have enjoyed the sensation as far as we have been able to go with it.

My problem is ... there just doesn't seem to be enough room in there for Robuck to form a fist. We get as far as the last set of knuckle, I feel I can certainly take more ... then BANG! We hit a brick wall.

OK - so the wall isn't brick - but it is a wall. I have had a total hystroectomy and the cervix has been closed. I have just a void ... do you think that is it? Am I never going to be able to experience a proper fisting? There doesn't seems to be the room left for him to curl his fingers over to form the fist.

(I am sorry I haven't explained this clearly)

Help/advice anyone?
Please

 

[WriterDom]

I wouldn't recommend trying to curl the fingers to form a fist. Let the fingertips and thumb form a point and go in from there.

 

[cymbidia]

Have Robuck wear gloves, you know, the surgical kind.

Gloves + lube (MASSIVE amounts of lube) = slippery slidey easeiness.

As WD said, a fist isn't formed, if it is ever formed, until AFTER the whole hand is inside your pussy. AFTER it slides in, all the way, as a wedge, THEN he can try to curl his fingers, if he wants to, if it feels good to you, if that's what the heat between you needs.

A flat hand in there and a fist in there feel way different.


1. Major amounts of lube are necessary for this endeavor. Doesn't matter if you're already dripping wet. Use lube. Then use more. Now add more. Trust me on this one.

2. Fingers. Start with one or two like it just foreplay - which it is. Clit attention. Nipple attention. Hot talk.

3. Add another. Go slow. Add more lube.

4. Add the fourth. Kinda squash them all together.

5. Pull out a little and add the thumb. Make the hand into a wedge. Add lube. Push.

6. PUSH. There WILL be a place that's resistant. It WILL hurt to push past that place. That's why you're doing it - to get past that pain and into the flying extreme pantingly sexual joy beyond it.

7. Reach for a pillow and gag yourself if you need to scream. Personally, i always scream and scream and scream. It's incredibly intense to be fisted. It's flying over that pain-pleasure knife edge in an incredibly focused and real way.

8. Keep pushing. It will go in. THEN curl your fingers if you wish, if it feels good, if that's what you want to do. Only after the wedge of four fingers and a thumb have pushed inside though. Not before.

Good luck.

 

[WillowPuss]

Thanks so much cym.

We have got to the adding the thumb bit ... and we can go as far as that knuckle ... and then BANG!

Robuck thinks that we probably need much more lube than we have been using. We will try again


I need to be gagged for this as I am a screamer too - and we have already had *ahem* complaints about the noise we make from the kids!

Maybe it will have to wait until we get a weekend away alone.

 

[boz]

Yup, what everyone's said about slow, lube, forming a fist _after_ getting the hand inside.

Where exactly is the resistance coming from? Something inside blocking the hand/fingers from going further, or tightness around the knuckles at the entry point?

If it's inside, then you have to move the fingers around until you find space for them to go further. If it's at the entry point, then you need lube and/or relaxation and/or some means of making the knuckle area take up less width.

The size of the hand and the size of the opening are big factors too. Fortunately, I can make my hand quite narrow, and my wife has a fairly flexible opening.

Good luck

 

[tassie]

hmmm, not tried this one myself!

I dont have any children or neighbours who confront me so I'm not sure, but I reckon that if I had someone commenting over my cornflakes that my screaming was a bit loud, the next time I would not feel uninhibited enough to lie back and think of england let alone indulge in a spot of fisting!

That is the only thing I can contribute, because, as I say, it's not one im familiar with!

 

[boz]

I dont have any children or neighbours who confront me so I'm not sure, but I reckon that if I had someone commenting over my cornflakes that my screaming was a bit loud, the next time I would not feel uninhibited enough to lie back and think of england let alone indulge in a spot of fisting!

Hmm, that reminds me of when we found out from my wife's friend that my stepdaughter had complained to our friend that my wife and I made too much noise when we have sex.

My wife's friend's reply to my stepdaughter was something like, "Well, would you rather that they had the type of relationship where they never had sex?"

Sorry, kind of getting off topic.

 

[Cirrus]

Lucky bitch

I an envious. My Dom won't even try to fist me. He says I'm way too tight to even attempt it and it would hurt me waaaay to much. I still wanna try. We can always stop. And since he likes me so tight (and I of course like that he likes it) he doesn't want to risk any stretching. I keep telling him it's elastic tissue and it'll go back to the way it was, and he has smallish hands for a guy anyway, but I'm already pretty much resigned myself to fisting being one pleasure I'll be without.

 

[lovechild27]

I have always wondered what it would feel like to be fisted...I dont think I could take it though...I cant get two of my fingers in (and they are little!) and that is with the help of a ton of lube.

I am imagining it is pretty good...is it worth the work?

 

[zipperdiva]

it's not just about lube...

I would suggest exercising one of the muscles that regulate that area. Unfortunately, I can't for the life of me remember the name of it at this hour but I will describe its location for you.

If you are laying on your back and someone inserts say two fingers inside of you, if they press down to the floor and rub in circles just inside the first 0 to 2.5 inches of you, they will be directly on this muscle. If you do this several times (meaning a few different sessions) you'll going to get a feel for this muscle and begin to train it to relax. This will be extremely helpful with fisting and may make the difference between getting it and dreaming about it.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[WillowPuss]

I am imagining it is pretty good...is it worth the work?

Ohhhhhhhhh YESSSSSSSSSS

Mind you - thats just my opinion!


Thanks zipperdiva - we shall certainly give that a go too.


Cirrus - I was (still am) pretty tight. Although I have two kids, neither was natural childbirth so I am still described as 'honeymoon tight' in one of the adverts I saw for elected hystroectomy! (What a description eh? lol). The muscles will be back the way they have always been by the next morning.



Boz - his hand is fairly large. We measured it, and when in a wedge shape it is 11 inches round at the widest part.



As for the 'complaint' I got - after getting over my initial gut wrenching, where's the nearest hole type embarrasment, I just looked her in the eye and told her just how sorry I felt for her. I added that once she had experienced a blow your mind orgasm then she could come back and complain about noise - well, she could if she was able to keep silent during such an experience! (I then went and locked myself in the bedroom and cringed! I don't think parents are supposed to do 'that sort of thing' anymore!)

 

[boz]

Boz - his hand is fairly large. We measured it, and when in a wedge shape it is 11 inches round at the widest part.

Hmm, mine measures out at around 9 inches. And female hands are smaller yet, if you happen to run across one.

As for the 'complaint' I got - after getting over my initial gut wrenching, where's the nearest hole type embarrasment, I just looked her in the eye and told her just how sorry I felt for her. I added that once she had experienced a blow your mind orgasm then she could come back and complain about noise - well, she could if she was able to keep silent during such an experience! (I then went and locked myself in the bedroom and cringed! I don't think parents are supposed to do 'that sort of thing' anymore!)

Hee hee, that's pretty funny. How old is your daughter?

 

[cymbidia]

Re: it's not just about lube...

I would suggest exercising one of the muscles that regulate that area.

Kegel muscles.

They're the ones that squeeze tight and hold on while, well, when there's, ah, something inside there to squeeze tightly.

 

[MsWorthy]

In my experience, there are two PHYSICAL things to consider when fisting [as opposed to the considerations of patience, arousal, trust, anxiety, willingness (desire), lube, and position - all of which are very impotant when fisting].

1. the size of your vagina - some women are smaller than others and can't take the same length or width with pleasure. I don't mean to discourage you, do continue to try as long as you feel comfortable doing so...it may be (and often is) just a matter of nervousness.

Do whatever you can to relax before you attempt being fisted:
Orgasm in another way before the fisting and build up again (women can orgasm many times in one love-making session, and each usually makes her more receptive and relaxed for the next).
Have a couple of drinks (the fist-ee not the fist-er, the fist-er needs to have all of her/his wits).
Take a hot bath.

2. the size of his/her hand - a lubed glove makes the slide easier, but can take away from the sensual skin-to-skin sensation for the fist-er (remember to cut your nails as short as possible and file them smooth even if you use a glove). Concern about nails scratching can inhibit both of you.

Do what you can to relax your hand before attempting to fist a tighter/smaller vagina and don't try it if your hand muscles are strained or painful as this will create an automatic resistance to the contractions of the vagina. The contractions are normal and will stop if you wait patiently and dont try to pull out when they occur (this will cause her pain) or resist them.

Remember that, for some, part of the pleasure caused by fisting is the stimulation of the g-spot. If she enjoys direct stimulation to the g-spot, then be sure to rub or stroke this area as you build her arousal and increase the number of fingers inserted.

I will add my voice to the others regarding lube - use lots of it and lube the entire hand all the way to the wrist. As you insert another finger, add more lube (without pulling out of her vagina) all around the hand.


btw the vagina can be stretched permanently (it will not go back to the previous size the next morning) with vaginal birth(s) or with regular (frequent) fisting or frequent insertion of other large-sized dildo/vibrator/toys just as the anal ring (sphincter) can be permanently stretched with frequent anal sex.

 

[DuckLover]

Clarification...

My partner and I tried fisting-- lubed up a lot, built up to it with lots of fingering, gradually adding fingers, I was massaging her interior muscles while doing all this.

But we'd reach a point of all 5 fingers in a wedge and couldn't get past the third knuckle; the vaginal sphincter/muscle ring was slightly too tight. I felt that if I pushed really hard it might go in, but gentle pressure hurt her and I was afraid to really hurt her. Are you saying the key to true, good fisting is to just thrust in, for her to accept and pass through the pain?

Once my hand is inside, I will feel her vagina contracting around me, but I need to stay in at that point, right?

Is pulling out as painful as entry?

Thanks for the advice! We're both excited about this new element!

 

[superlittlegirl]

I'd like to add a few things. These come from my experience of having been fisted successfully.

1. I'm going to echo the importance of lube. You can never have too much. I recommend using a silicone based lube such as Eros in conjunction with a water based lube like Slippery Stuff, Liquid Silk, or Wet. The silicone based lube stays slicker for longer, but has a viscosity that can be counterproductive. The water based lube will alleviate that problem. The water based lube will tend to dry out more quickly, but then the silicone based lube is there to pick up the slack. And keep adding lube as you go. You can never have too much. I really like the idea of using a bulb-topped medicine dropper to squirt plenty o' lube way inside.

2. Cymbidia's suggestion of using surgical gloves is spot-on. Friction is your enemy when you're playing like this, and even though a well lubed bare hand feels plenty slick, it's amazing at how much slicker a gloved one is. A glove smoothes out the rough textures of the hand that can cause abrasion and burning.

3. Position of the hand: When the hand is sliding in, it is helpful to rotate it to see where the most accomodating point of entry is. For me, I find it easier to accept a hand that is inserted vertically, rather than horizontally. Everyone is different, though, so just see what works best for you. The most comfortable position for the fistee may not be the most comfortable for your hand, but the elation you'll feel when you get in is worth the twistiness you might have to maneuver your hand into.

4. Deep Breathing : I have found this helpful with anal as well as fisting. Focusing on the breathing sets a rhythm that your partner can match with his or her movements, and incremental progress can be made on inhalations or exhalations, whichever works best for you. For the fister, matching your breathing to your fistee's (if you can do it) or at least being aware of her breathing pattern can help create an intuitive sense for what her level of acceptance is. To be sure, it's no substitute for good verbal communication, but it can really be helpful for you to observe this particular nuance when she is past the point where she's able to verbalize. And it is entirely possible that she will reach this point.

5. Once your fist is in, take your cue from your partner as to how much movement she would like. Some people enjoy fairly pronounced thrusts, but a lot of people just want to have stillness and fullness.

6. Orgasm: The fistee may come and she may not. If she does, be prepared to get squeezed awfully tightly. I've heard tales of people who sustained stress fractures from the force of their partner's orgasm. But wouldn't you feel so proud to wear a cast for that reason? What a great story it would be.

7. Pulling out: When she's had enough, and you're ready to come out, it's a good idea to break the vacuum seal that her pussy will have created around your hand. Simply wiggle a finger into her pussy where it is circling your wrist to break the seal.

8. Aftercare: Have lots of water on hand to rehydrate her. Chances are that the both of you will sweat buckets from the intensity of the experience. Be entirely present, be attentive, and be comforting. This is a really intense experience that sometimes requires a strong effort to return from. Make sure that if you plan to have an orgasm in the course of the evening that you do it before any fisting takes place, because chances are she won't have the energy to help get you off once she's done. If it turns her on so much that she's just raring for more, then smile and enjoy it, but don't count on this happening by any means.

9. Communication: Talk before, during and after. Make sure that the lines of communication are clear and uncluttered. On a related note, evaluate the level of stress in your life that day, as well as the security you both feel in your situation. This is an activity that can highlight a sense of vulnerability, and you need to make sure that you're both ready to deal with any cathartic response it might produce.

Hope this helps a bit.

--Freya

 

[MsWorthy]

. . .

9. Communication: Talk before, during and after. Make sure that the lines of communication are clear and uncluttered. On a related note, evaluate the level of stress in your life that day, as well as the security you both feel in your situation. This is an activity that can highlight a sense of vulnerability, and you need to make sure that you're both ready to deal with any cathartic response it might produce.

Hope this helps a bit.

--Freya

I second this, Freya. I have found it not-at-all unusual for the fistee to cry, spontaneously, after having an orgasm in this way, and not even be sure why she is crying. Because of this, I would not recommend fisting, at least the first few times, on a weeknight when everyone has to rush off to sleep and then get up and rush off to work in the morning. You will want plenty of time for cuddling, reassurance, and lessening of vulnerability to occur before going to sleep.

 

[ApplesMcgee]

SLG

SLG - that's a very informative post. I'd brought up this idea to my gf recently.

I was curious about the exit as much as entering. I thought it might be MORe difficul to pull your hand out after all of that.

Does it hurt to pull your hand out? for the woman that is.

PowrDragn

 

[NemoAlia]

Wow! All such great fisting advice gathered together in a single place! The only tidbit I can add is: Try to avoid her urethra. It hurts when you press on it. (At least for me!)

(edited to add: Moreover, friction on the urethra greatly increases one's chance of contracting a urinary tract infection -- a pain that I will never be able to eroticize.)

 

[boz]

One more thing ...

Fisting can be an intriguing idea if you haven't done it or had it done to you before (especially if you've seen some of the pictures on the internet of vaginal, anal, one in each, or even two in one vagina pictures), but it's not always something spectacular in reality.

We do it very infreqently since it doesn't seem to do anything too special for my wife. Sometimes the only difference for her is that she feels "very full" (her words).