First work of erotic fiction... feedback please?

[MariusMCW]

Note: It occured to me after posting this in the Author's Hangout forum that this topic may be more appropriate to this forum, and so I'm re-posting it here. Sorry about that.

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Hi, folks. I'm new here, obviously.

When I was a teenager I used to write a lot of erotic fiction. I don't remember most of what I wrote, but I do remember that none of it was very good, and I haven't written any since then, hoping instead to improve my writing ability in other areas, particularly the use of effective imagery.

I'm 21 now and I've had the pleasure of meeting many different types of people, of learning more about how people think and how they live. I'd say I'm definitely more qualified to write fiction about modern, everyday folks than I ever was.

This morning, I had little to do and surprised myself by writing a short erotic story. It's really short-- only six pages-- and I refrained from describing any of the characters physically, so that any reader would be able to associate with them. Also, it's fairly tame in terms of erotic content. Mainly I wrote it because it deals with a subject that fascinates me-- women aged between thirty and fifty who allow men my age to love them with no strings attached.

You can read it here. Let me know what you think.

Thanks,

-M.

 

[MaxSebastian]

How about posting it on literotica? You'll get far more attention, I can assure you

 

[Marius_McW]

Marius here. My username changed when I signed up to submit work to Literotica, but it's the same ol' me.

Woohoo! My story got published on Literotica this morning. Reading it again, I'm amazed at how little time and effort I put into this one; it works because there's not much content to this story but if not for that I'm not sure I could have been very satisfied with it.

What do you folks think of it?

-M.