First timer

[TMS414]

I've been a member of Lit for almost a month now, and have just had my first submission posted to the site. I sent it to a friend of mine before I sent it in and she loved it (because the female character in it was based on her). But I would like some unbiased feedback.

Advice and tips would be greatly apprecitated as I work on my second submission allowing me to improve it.

Thanks,
TMS414

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=63232

Title: Coming together
Category: Erotic couplings