First time writer, how to improve for the rest of the series?

[EyeRightThings]

Hello everyone.

Like many others in this forum, im a first time author who just posted their first story to Literotica. Overall im quite pleased with the reception its getting and I would very much like to continue thr series.

However, before I devote too much time to the next part in the series, I would very much like to get some feedback on my writing style and see what areas I should really focus on improving. Any constructive feedback you could provide would be very appreciated.

Posted under the "Group Sex" category with the tags "Facial, bisexual female, foursome, oral, free use, anal, cum, wife sharing, cum swallowing"


Story link: The Community Wife Pt 01

 

[TheLobster]

I’m surprised you got it published. Laurel’s attention must have slept.

Real talk: get an editor, or internalize how punctuation works, especially in dialogue. This poor form is stifling your otherwise breezy and very enjoyable writing, not to mention a great premise. It’s a shame, and it’s easily fixable.

Improve your craft.

 

[bumpercars]

I think you have a fun premise and dialog, but your punctuation is frequently missing around that dialog. That's the biggest area for improvement that I see.