http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=165010
my story link above. Would appreciate any critique.
my story link above. Would appreciate any critique.
First timer - please review
- Thread starter Katie T
- Start date
Pure
Fiel a Verdad
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2001
- Posts
- 15,135
Post to the Story Feedback forum.
The critiquing here in SDC is on a 'swap' basis. Read the first posting of the 'sticky' about 'discussion feedback.' You're welcom to join in, but there's a brief time in which you've gotta 'give' a little (critique to someone else). Sign up in that discussion feedback thread, if you're interested.
Story Feedback or Author's Hangout or General Board can get you some feedback, no strings.
pure
traffic director, SDC
The critiquing here in SDC is on a 'swap' basis. Read the first posting of the 'sticky' about 'discussion feedback.' You're welcom to join in, but there's a brief time in which you've gotta 'give' a little (critique to someone else). Sign up in that discussion feedback thread, if you're interested.
Story Feedback or Author's Hangout or General Board can get you some feedback, no strings.
pure
traffic director, SDC
HornyHenry
Horned Toad
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2004
- Posts
- 1,664
This IS the Story Feedback Forum.
Maybe this was moved from another forum? Otherwise, what is this forum for?Pure said:
Katie T said:http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=165010
my story link above. Would appreciate any critique.
Katie,
To encourage feedback, you need to say a bit about the story, at least it's categoyr (although that is not very revealing).
Homer
Starting your career with a Novel/Novella is very ambitions.
I disagree with the comments about sex starting too soon, as I perceive the story is not about Karl and "Frank." This does start to introduce the characters.
Personally I'm not into multichapter stories (althoug I have written a few) but this looks promising.
Good luck
I disagree with the comments about sex starting too soon, as I perceive the story is not about Karl and "Frank." This does start to introduce the characters.
Personally I'm not into multichapter stories (althoug I have written a few) but this looks promising.
Good luck
J
J.Q. Hack
Guest
I enjoyed this opening chapter of the story. I agree with Vargas that starting with a novella is a little ambitious but I wish you the best of luck.
The only criticism I really have is the story seemed too rushed for me. There was some slight character development like the contrast between "Frank" and Karl, but I would have liked to have seen a little more of that. However, I'm sure that and much more will be dealt with in the future. For the length of this submission you did do a good job in creating some sympathy for the predicament the characters are in especially "Frank" and Tim.
J.Q. Hack
The only criticism I really have is the story seemed too rushed for me. There was some slight character development like the contrast between "Frank" and Karl, but I would have liked to have seen a little more of that. However, I'm sure that and much more will be dealt with in the future. For the length of this submission you did do a good job in creating some sympathy for the predicament the characters are in especially "Frank" and Tim.
J.Q. Hack
I like where you were heading quite a bit, although i was dissapointed that there wasnt as much as i was expecting. I usualy try to include one sexual scene per chapter too keep the readers interested. I think by going more into detail about how she was masturbating would have done well. what she was thinking as she did it what she did and how she felt as she was doing it. As a guy i always find women's daydreams and inner thoughts to be very interesting. Thanks for sharing with us.
Spyro
Spyro
