First threesome

[axilyae]

Maybe they joined specifically to get advice, who knows. Let's try not to judge them on their post count!

The previously given advice here pretty much hits the nail on the head. I hope you manage to talk to your husband soon; communication is the key in any relationship, and I feel your continued cheating will just give you more of a reason to grow apart from him, instead of working to grow closer - which is going against one of the fundamental aspects of making a marriage work.

Good luck!

 

[amofiga]

Can someone please explain to me how someone just happens to have a threesome and then decides to make it their first post on Literotica? Every time I've had a deviant sexual experience, the first thing I think of is, "God! I wonder if there's a website where I can post about my exploits!" WTF?

It goes along with the very old joke where the 75 year old Jewish guy goes to confession at the Catholic church down the street where he lives to confess that he's had anal sex with a hot young 25 year old. The priest says, "you're not even Catholic. Why tell me?" The old man says, "Are you kidding. Hell, I'm telling EVERYBODY!"

 

[Willcum4u]

Ellafun...please don't be a hater! I needed a place to ask questions anonymously about my recent sexual explorations. If you don't think this is real, sorry but it is. I didn't think asking my friends/family about this was appropriate since I'm cheating on my husband. Thanks for the post though!

 

[NightL]

Ellafun...please don't be a hater!

doubter ≠ hater

any PMs from the Ladies yet?

 

[Exquisition]

To be honest, I think you are playing with fire, what you are describing is not uncommon, where one spouse has different ideas about sex then another, and in that sense I can understand where you are.

Unfortunately a lot of people are in that position and it isn't easy,especially if one partner's ideas about sex are kind of old fashioned (it is kind of cute that he thinks a woman giving oral sex to a man is degrading, in the sense that he actually cares about the woman's feelings, but it also kind of makes me wonder where he learned that, it sounds either like far too many people's religious beliefs or certain aspects of 1970's feminism that was pretty anti sex)......

If you love your husband then having your cake and eating it too is not going to be possible, eventually this is going to get back to him. With one event like this it may not be likely, but someone is going to get wind of it, the husband or wife might mention it to others, someone gets bitchy, or hubby notices something different, that you are spending more time with this guy and his wife (and coworkers are absolutely the worst people to be doing this with IMO in the sense that spouses already can suspect coworkers since they are a common source of cheating). And if your description is correct, he is going to be like the guys in the loving wives stories where there is no wiggle room, it was cheating and he would be gone.....

Sexual incompatibility is a major part of marital issues many couples face, so you aren't alone, and quite frankly I would be the last person to judge you or give you the old crap about marriage being a sacred covenant, that sex is between only husband and wife", how and where they have sex should be up to the couple, as long as they are both cool with it.

I think what others have suggested, about having the wife seduce him, for example, is not the way to go, I think he will get suspicious if the wife comes onto him like that and you seem untroubled by it, he will smell something, I guarantee it, plus if his sexual notions come from religious teaching or some sort of rigid morality, even if tempted he won't go along with it.

To be honest, I think you really need to be talking to your husband about your sex drive, fantasies, whatever, try and get him to open up . For one thing, are you sure sex has been working for him? Without sounding like Iago, if he is working late hours for the last 6 weeks, are you sure that is a demand of the job or could he be unhappy? Did your sex life dwindle before he started working late? I obviously don't know him, but could you both be experiencing the same thing but not talking about it?

Here is my take, if you think you love your husband enough to want to stay with him, then don't do another threesome (you prob will I suspect, given how exuberant you feel, but keep in mind that likely soon you will get the guilts over it, especially if you keep doing it, IME). That glow is incredible, it is like when you first start having great sex; but here, too, you are compartmentalizing yourself, you are creating in a sense a 'different you' where it is okay to do things like this, but the problem is you end up in conflict with yourself and eventually it will become evident to your husband, either because you grow more distant or because you are doing things like being out all the time, when he notices, and the shit will hit the fan and the 'real you' that loves him, will be left to face the consequences....

Rather, start talking to him about what you need, that you love him and you want to rekindle your sex lives. Ideally he would agree to see a sex and relationship counselor to help bring you both closer to being on the same page, maybe if a woman counselor told him that oral sex either way is not degrading he would be willing to open up about that, or maybe he and you both would open up about what you want. Guys like you describe your hubby prob have fantasies, too, but are ashamed to talk about them because they were brought up learning those are 'wrong' or immoral or whatever....maybe working like that he would learn to open up, too.

If he doesn't, and you really need more, then you may be faced with either a)living a life with him where you aren't satisfied or b) have to leave him as much as you may love him. Doing what you are doing seems the best of both worlds, but I think you are going to find it will lead you to a place where you have neither world, where your marriage will crash and burn when he finds out (and as I said, your brief description he seems pretty rigid and straight in his beliefs and will see this as a horrible betrayal) and where you will feel so rotten and miserable when it crashes you will find, at least for a while, that the allure of crazy sex dies...

AT least if you try to work with your H, and he doesn't/can't follow, you made the attempt, and if the marriage ends you can look yourself in the mirror and know you tried.

How well do you know your husband? Is it possible that his late nights are focussed on work?

 

[Somehowyou]

I went through years of that and couldn't understand how my wife didn't "agree" with me on many issues when many other women apparently did. It took an emotional bomb going off and marriage counseling to find out that my wife wasn't as vanilla as I thought but that she didn't trust me enough to reveal herself for fear that I would negatively judge her. Here for all those years I saw it as the reverse. Sometimes it takes a third party, a referee, a counselor to allow both parties to approach each other feeling safe and protected. You might offer that, ie a therapist or counselor, as an option if he doesn't want to listen to your side of the story. I knew one woman who ended up (after years of trying) telling her husband if he didn't want to meet her halfway or try to understand her and try to work with her, she would have to leave and find a more compatible partner. It shook him off his foundation. However, she had exhausted all avenues and I wouldn't suggest taking that sort of approach right off. Good luck with this. Closed door marriages don't make for good marriages.

This is a great paragraph by Amofiga. I believe that this is probably true of my relationship. Other than a third party like Amofiga mentioned, the only thing that I believe works is to talk while you are having sex. When you are stroking his penis can you bring up some of your milder fantasies?

 

[Eilan]

Ladies any feedback on your MFM experiences and how it went would be appreciated. Did you feel used afterwards?! Also how can you find someone interested in a threesome?!

My husband and I dabbled in some MFM/MMFs shortly before I joined Lit, some of which involved me "playing" with a (now-ex) friend without my husband being directly involved. I'll have to admit that I liked being the center of attention. I have a tough time separating sex and love, and I didn't feel that the reality lived up to the fantasy.

That's about as much detail as you'll get from me.

 

[lustingmoment]

my first threesome was fmf and was great. Had many now mmf and mff. my girlfriend brought a friend from her work home. and it was hot so we got into the hot tub and a few drinks later we were playing and touching and played games.
one game was which girl gave better head.. was fun
who had bigest nipple when arroused.
in the end we all had fun and was very wet!!

 

[LeslieHemmingway83]

nevermind

 

[DarkPleasures]

Ellafun...please don't be a hater!

Keep in mind, you came asking advice. Not everyone is a fan of cheeting. Many gave you sound advice. That you ignored. If you only wanted the "jack off PMs" from the men eating up your story, you should have said so from the beginning.

 

[Emerson40]

So last night I had my first threesome with a friend from work and his hot wife! It was my first time being with another woman (other than making out with friends). It was amazing, but my husband has no clue. He is very vanilla when it comes to sex but i am so horny all the time and i need more.....How can I talk to him about being more open sexually without ruining our marriage?

No, I did not invite him.....he was working, but I am pretty certain he would be upset with me, not excited. I'd like to open his eyes without losing his trust....
And I definitely want to fuck them again!

Ok details.....the guy and I have been coworkers and friends for many years. We always meet for lunch, drinks, whatever but it was always platonic. About six weeks ago my husband started working late every day and I was really lonely and very horny. I know women hit their sexual peak at 35 but this is ridiculous....all I think about is sex. My husband has been out working everyday for about a month so I masturbate daily....ok several times a day.

So we met for happy hour after work and for the first time we started talking about sex and he shared that several hot women at work told him that they wanted to fuck him. I guess I felt hot, jealous, and definitely interested.... We met for drinks the next week but I was still unsure about being with someone outside my marriage....so after a few drinks we went to his car in the parking lot and we masterbated together.

The next time we hung out I blew him in his office, twice. I love sucking dick but my husband thinks that it is degrading to women....ugh. Over the last month I've gone down on him a few times and we've fucked twice....always in our offices! Ha

He and his wife have had several threesomes. I have become friendly with her and the three of us have gone out drinking twice.....but Friday night we all knew it was going to happen. He had talked to both of us about it but I never spoke to her about it. We all went to their bedroom after way too many drinks. She started kissing me and took off my bra. We were laying on the bed, kissing and grinding. Unfortunately it was my time of the month so when she tried to go down on me, I flipped her over and went down on her. It was my first time but it was incredible. I licked her pussy and fingered her until she came....it was beyond hot. He laid next to us watching and stroking his cock.

Then we sucked his cock together...super fun. He then fucked his wife while I watched. I used a vibrator and came while they fucked. We all slept naked in their bed. In the morning he was fondling me under the blanket while his wife slept and I sucked his cock while she took a shower.... It was not awkward in the morning because we are all friends. I cannot wait to hang out with them again...looking forward to her licking my clit and having her watch her husband fuck me from behind while i lick her!

So I'm a married woman who likes girls and threesomes.....but my husband has no idea and possibly want to leave me if he knew. I feel like imam leading a double life. I have my cake and eating it too....that never lasts forever......thoughts?

Willcum4u,

Why are you with your husband? Threesomes and thrilling sexploits aside - you will always find a fan of these type of stories here, on these boards - you seem to have not a smidgen of concern that you are stepping out and cheating on your husband.

So why are you with him? I'm not judging or bashing. I'm seriously curious. Do you love him? Does your idea of love take into account not only how he treats you, but how you treat him? Is what you are doing acceptable in a marriage such as yours is, a marriage as it is understood to be, by both you and your husband? I don't think so, as your comments above clearly indicate that if your husband was to find out, things would be over between you.

So, why are you with him? Why not go your separate ways, and you go and explore your sexuality and get your freak on? Your marriage seems to be a low priority (why else risk its destruction) and you really have little if any concern about your husband's feelings on the matter. You would have sat him down and had an open and honest discussion (omitting the affair) with him regarding your feelings and the state of your marriage by now if you did care for him, if you truly loved him. You seem to be struggling little, if at all, with any feelings of guilt, or remorse for your affairs.

 

[nakdsub]

I'd say...

By cheating on your husband, you're already well on your way to destroying your marriage as well as hurting deeply the man your profess to love.

Communication, maybe even a little counseling before doing anything would have been wise; now of course you have betrayed your husband's trust. I'm sure the man with whom you cheated will be looking for more; when your husband finds out, and he will...

Well... good luck!

 

[Rother]

There's nothing wrong with wanting a threesome. Nothing wrong with wanting to experiment. And there is nothing wrong with doing that when you are married. Assuming that your spouse is aware, and comfortable with this.

Sadly, you have done things in the wrong order. Sort things out with your husband. Maybe if you had gone to him first and had an honest conversation about how you were feeling and the future of your relationship, he may have surprised you.

 

[Parthenon]

You're in a dangerous situation here. I'm not going to go on about right and wrong, just the situation. It sounds like I'm way more open than your husband. Now it might be possible for my wife if I had one to talk me into a threesome, especially if it was two women. But I'd be done for good if I found out about my wife doing the stuff you've been up to. It might be great fun, but it would hurt incredibly and be against my/his moral code to accept.

You're in a dangerous situation of him finding out, especially the more that goes on. People act differently without realizing it, I've been in relationships where the woman cheated on me, it's noticeable whether they thought so or not. And that's aside from the risk of someone walking into an office, a parking lot, seeing you at the guys house, etc.

My advice is to put all the extramaritals on hold. Try to get your husband more open, perhaps with how much you enjoy oral sex, tell him how much you like it, even get it as a treat for you. Perhaps try to get towards the threesome stuff by hinting at an interest in women. Like, ooh, isn't she pretty, things like that. What if your husband would only ever go as far as letting another woman into the bedroom with you two? That might even be a stretch given what you've said of him, unless he's hiding something big.

I'd try to avoid hurting him, but if that isn't so important, well the try to open him up and drop the marriage when it doesn't work I guess. Better to divorce without all the hurt and conflict that would eventually result.