First roleplay / dom encounter... need advice

[MoggleUK]

Hi,

I'm pretty new to lit (as a registered member, I've been a reader for long time).

All my previous sexual encounters have been what I guess could be described as fairly 'traditional'. Good sex, and great times, but over last couple of years I've developed desires to be dom with a sexy slave at my fingertips. Something I've never had chance to do so far and I'm kinda concerned to even bring the subejct up with most people I meet.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I've finally been talking to a lady who is pretty much in same boat as me (she's not on lit - as far as I know!). She's sub and I'm dom and we're hopefully arranging to meet up in next few days for some roleplay and dom/sub fun. This is not going to be a full time relationship... it's about enjoying each other's company and having some wicked sex! The only thing is, as we're both relative 'virgins' in this department, I was wondering if anyone could offer me any advice / tips as to how to make our first meeting as enjoyable as possible?

Look forward to hearing your comments I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing at the moment but think it will turn out just fine.. well better than just fine!

 

[FurryFury]

Find out what you and she are both into, concentrate on those items.

Make sure you know here limits and if they are hard or soft ones.

Discuss safe words and use safe practices.

Have fun.

That's my advice.

Fury

 

[myinnerslut]

hi, welcome to lit!

since your not looking for a relationship, or any long term training or anything like that, i would say the most important thing is to make sure its enjoyable (and safe) for both of you. talk to her before hand to find out what she is expecting and if there are t hings she wont do. you dont want to bring on a panic attack by doing something you thought would be fun, but was a major issue for her. be creative.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

In one word Communcation. You need to be willing to talk about what you want to do. Maybe some of the things you both want to try are kinda embarassing, but if you don't talk about it then your time could be less then satifactory. As when you doing whatever it is you agreed on make sure she is still ok with what is going on. Its no fun to have say cuffs on and they start to chaff the skin, but it could happen if she or you are not discussing what is happening.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Start by both filling out a checklist beforehand, and then discussing its contents in detail and with clear understanding....from there it should begin to take shape as to what would be the best and preferred direction to take. One other thing though, have you even met yet? If not, I would suggest a simple meeting for coffee or dinner before this date to get to know each other a little better and see if what you hope is attraction is real when face to face. It wouldn't be the first time something wonderful feeling in cyberspace turned to blah in reality for any number of reasons ranging from honesty issues to chemistry.

Catalina

 

[MasterPhoenix]

All great advice, you all saved Me some keystrokes...

 

[MoggleUK]

Thanks everybody for some great advice!

Start by both filling out a checklist beforehand, and then discussing its contents in detail and with clear understanding....from there it should begin to take shape as to what would be the best and preferred direction to take. One other thing though, have you even met yet? If not, I would suggest a simple meeting for coffee or dinner before this date to get to know each other a little better and see if what you hope is attraction is real when face to face. It wouldn't be the first time something wonderful feeling in cyberspace turned to blah in reality for any number of reasons ranging from honesty issues to chemistry.

Catalina

We have met before, although not in a sexual nature, but we know each other quite well and get on well too.

I like the idea about going for a coffee or dinner before anything happens. I'm going to suggest this to her as a good way for us to discuss what each of us want / like / don't like before we dive in to the deep end. I'm hoping it will help us to both become a lot more comfortable with discussing the subject before anythign gets physical. At least that way, we both have another good opportunity to change our minds or to think about this further, etc.

Thanks again for the advice so far. Fantastic community within these forums!

I'll let you know how it all goes

~
Moggle

 

[cleverdevil76]

I'd worry that you haven't explored this enough on your own in advance.
Does she like pain? Do you like to give pain?
Do you like obediance without questions? Does she fantsize about facilitating this?
Do you want to tie her up? does she want to be tied up?
Yep, there's alot out there, and there's bits and pieces of "kink" that you can enjoy with little to no preparation, but if what gets you off is any one of a wide range of things, you're going to want to do atleast a small amount of research. Do you know how long you can safely stop blood flow to the limbs when someone is tied up? You don't need to be a specialist to have fun, but know that even in the tamest of things, there can be danger involved. Avoiding this begins with knowing yourself and having an idea of what you want. Look around on-line. See what you like to beat the meat to. Ditto for your partner. If the fantasies you enjoy might require some prep, look into it just a tinsy bit before running out to the hardware store.

Have fun and play safe *this message brought to you by such n such rigamoroll*