First Date

[Wise_Man]

Hi all

Where is the best place to go on a first date ?

 

[EJFan]

it's a pretty broad question but in my opinion there are two general rules here.

1. go to a place where you're both comfortable so you can be yourself and minimize stress. i think it should be a place where you can talk to each other (depending on how famililar you are with one another). in order to have the best and most impressive dialogue, you can't be compromising your degree of comfort.

2. don't plan a long date. something short and convenient is best in my opinion. this way if either of you pick up a bad vibe you aren't tied down for a long period of time and, therefore, don't have to worry about making an excuse to leave.

other general things to remember... people like to talk about themselves so try to not be too self-involved and let your date do the talking so they leave having had a good time (which also means listen, listen, listen). also, if you asked for the date, no matter what kind of suggestions or pleading come out of your date's mouth, you pay for it.

 

[MaraJade1978]

I agree, to a certain extent. You may want to try planning a coffee date or something similar. IMO don't go to a bar, especially if its someone you think you may want to see again, because there's to much opportunity for you to drink your nerves away and for either or both of you to act like asses and say or do things you normally wouldn't.

Also, you may want to think of an "activity" date. Something like bowling, golfing, a museum etc. Something that gets you up and moving and gives you something to talk about to break up any awkward silences. Don't go to a movie, no chance to talk.

Just my 2cents!!

 

[shy slave]

I agree, to a certain extent. You may want to try planning a coffee date or something similar. IMO don't go to a bar, especially if its someone you think you may want to see again, because there's to much opportunity for you to drink your nerves away and for either or both of you to act like asses and say or do things you normally wouldn't.
Also, you may want to think of an "activity" date. Something like bowling, golfing, a museum etc. Something that gets you up and moving and gives you something to talk about to break up any awkward silences. Don't go to a movie, no chance to talk.

Just my 2cents!!

In the UK it is very common to take a first date to a pub or meet them there.
Particularly if it is during the evening when coffee shops are closed.

I actually can't think of anywhere else in the UK to meet for a first date.
Activity stuff usually happens later on if it turns out you have similar interests.

Pubs in the UK are pretty safe and women alone in them are not usually hit on or seen as sleazy.
Any evening first date I have had has always been in a pub. It is a very normal ordinary place to meet people over here

As the OP comes from the UK I would suggest a pub for a first meet, apart from anything else there are plently of people around to feel safe.
If the OP thinks he is drinking too much they can always order food to slow things down a bit.


EJFan~ In the UK it is not unusual for a woman to pay half of the cost of a first date or at least buy a drink during the date. I know women who would see it as insulting if he insisted on paying for everything (including myself), if he pays everyting it gives the impression he is entitled to at least a kiss goodnight.
I realise that this may sound 'nit picking' but the social aspects of dating in the UK compared to the US do seem different.

 

[EJFan]

EJFan~ In the UK it is not unusual for a woman to pay half of the cost of a first date or at least buy a drink during the date. I know women who would see it as insulting if he insisted on paying for everything (including myself), if he pays everyting it gives the impression he is entitled to at least a kiss goodnight.
I realise that this may sound 'nit picking' but the social aspects of dating in the UK compared to the US do seem different.

ah. thank you for the cultural information and for pointing out the OP was from the UK... i hadn't noticed that earlier.

that's really an interesting dynamic. i would never have guessed that to be the case. the reason i made the point was that women don't like a tightwad (i'm speaking in generalities here) and a guy who is willing to let his date spend her own money can lose some respect if the situation isn't handled properly. like so many things in the US there are waaaaaay too many variables from person to person to account for. (disclaimer: this is NOT designed to sound like women can be bought or impressed by men spending money... only to say that men who don't can be seen negatively.)

 

[MaraJade1978]

I hadn't realized the cultural differences as well in the UK vs the US. Of course, I have always agreed to at least split the tab or if he pays for dinner I'd pay for a later activity. Most guys won't let me, but I do at least offer, so that I don't look like I"m just out for a free meal.

 

[Carnevil9]

I always thought a movie was the perfect first date. That way, you don't have to worry about having something to talk about for the first few hours. And after the movie, you can go out to dinner and talk ABOUT the movie. Thus sparing you the awkward situation of having nothing to talk about.

Your mileage may vary.....Carney

 

[human_male]

Coffee. Just go for coffee. If it doesn't work out you've only lost fifteen minutes and a couple of dollars. If you have lunch you have to sit there through the lunch, you can't very well just get up and leave in the middle of it. If you take her out and you don't hit it off you've blown all that money.

I took a first date horse back riding once. Her boyfriend was there at the house when I picked her up. She brought a friend with her who I had to pay for too. I never heard from her again. Get the picture.

 

[cat_and_bear]

Also, you may want to think of an "activity" date. Something like bowling, golfing, a museum etc. Something that gets you up and moving and gives you something to talk about to break up any awkward silences. Don't go to a movie, no chance to talk.

Just my 2cents!!

Agreed! I give that advice to every one that asks. Picking an activity that’s "different" seems to have a nice effect. Examples hiking, rock climbing, a pottery class. It sounds corny I know but it gets results.

If the first date went well then do the movie date, but make it a scary one so there is a chance to cuddle.

 

[shy slave]

I hadn't realized the cultural differences as well in the UK vs the US. Of course, I have always agreed to at least split the tab or if he pays for dinner I'd pay for a later activity. Most guys won't let me, but I do at least offer, so that I don't look like I"m just out for a free meal.

I agree with you, offering does at least negate that you are out for a free meal lol. It is more and more common in the UK for women to pay their way, first date or not.

EJ, Like the US, in the UK there are so many variables from person to person it makes the simplest things seem hard work.

Of course the OP could always say to her 'Would you like to go out sometime?' If she says yes he could then ask her where she would like to meet up. It leaves her to decide where she would feel most safe.

I think I am getting old though, if someone suggested rock climbing as a first date I would find 301 ways to say 'No thanks' lol

 

[NCguy65]

I took my wife to the zoo on our first date. She loved the red-assed monkeys.