Finished my first series & looking for feedback!

[BBrixton]

Hi all!

I've been a reader for some time but only decided to try my hand at writing about a month ago.

I just finished my first series, Finding Beth. I'm by no means finished with Beth though, as I've slightly fallen in love with her and know there's so much for her to experience.

But before I launch into another series focused on her I'd love to get some feedback.

A short synopsis; Beth is a small town girl who moves to 'the big city' where she meets a girl named Jamie who, aside from being charming, fun and worldly also does porn. Soon Beth finds herself drawn into Jamie's life.

Link to part one of the series.
https://www.literotica.com/s/finding-beth-ch-01

 

[BBrixton]

Got the first few chapters of the follow-up series coming soon, would still love to get feedback from folks.

 

[THBGato]

I just left this as a comment:

Well done on your first story. It's not my usual thing, but it was impressively realised. I liked the way you had your narrator, Beth, not really swear - "heck" and "freaking" - as it added a real sense of innocence and realism to her character. I also liked the fact that you didn't spell out what was happening on the other side of the wall and why, but let your readers work it out. It was fairly obvious, but by not saying you added intrigue. If stuff develops between Beth and Jamie I may be back!

 

[BBrixton]

I just left this as a comment:

Well done on your first story. It's not my usual thing, but it was impressively realised. I liked the way you had your narrator, Beth, not really swear - "heck" and "freaking" - as it added a real sense of innocence and realism to her character. I also liked the fact that you didn't spell out what was happening on the other side of the wall and why, but let your readers work it out. It was fairly obvious, but by not saying you added intrigue. If stuff develops between Beth and Jamie I may be back!

Thank you very much! I tried to keep Beth grounded and wanted to ease into the sex scenes, glad to hear you thought it worked.

Beth and Jamie certainly have stuff happening between them by now, you should read the rest of the series if that's what you want, I think you'll enjoy it - I try to take their relationship very seriously.