Finding an online Domme

[Telafio]

After a few stuff ups I have managed to glean some useful information on this subject.

However, I have reached a cul de sac so to speak.

Firstly I was asking on advice on finding an online Domme to teach me the ins and outs of the lifestyle with a hands on approach the desire.

I have since learned that looking is one thing and finding another.

The advice I seem to be getting is to stop looking and a genuine Domme will find me.

It seems a bit of catch 22. Being very new to this I was hoping someone, somewhere could enlighten me.

 

[MissTaken]

It can be very difficult and especially as there are many more submissive men than there are Dominant women on line.

In addition to the previous advice, you could try posting an ad on a D/s singles site. If you do, you will want to be very clear concerning what you are looking for and able to commit to.

bondage.com and alt.com are places to begin.

Best of luck,

MissT

 

[s'lara]

i can tell you that Domme's seem to be the in the smaller ratio to male submissive's. They also don't seem to like being sought after merely to serve (agh) the purpose of your needs.

A bit of advice. Before looking for a Domme, how about taking some time examine what You want in terms of a Domme. Also, i don't know how much you know about BDSM or D/s, but it helps to have some knowledge under your belt if only to give yourself a better perspective about what may be expected of you if and when you find a Domme.

Please take a look at our Library and familiarize yourself with some of the practices of BDSM. A good thread to start with is this one: "Beginners in BDSM" which has many links offering information to those just starting out. You may find some useful information at any of the sites listed in the thread. Again, You might have some info/experience under your belt, but it never hurts to have more.

Good luck to you.

lara

 

[Telafio]

I thank both of you.

I am constantly reading up on this realm of life.

I feel the only way i will discover what I like/dislike is to roleplay it first and then move on to reality.

It is at least the most comfertable for me.

 

[MissTaken]

Here is a thread about male submission. You may not find the Domme you are looking for, but it may help give you insights by reading what other's thoughts are, others who share the same or similar fantasies or who are living the reality.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=206443

 

[Telafio]

You are very kind.

the thread is indeed a treasure of knowledge and experience.

The more I look the more I learn.

It's a pity we male subs are in the majority. I suppose the day I meet a Domme will make it all the more satidfying.

Thanks again Miss Taken

 

[catalina_francisco]

If you are seeking to find online with the view of moving onto reality, it is always a good thing to mention as it more often than not attracts a different set of replies. It is rare to find a Dom/me who wants to play online with someone they feel are not interested in more, if they themselves are interested in real time play. I myself began with an online mentor who guided my experience and helped me to reach the happy place I am now in. Good luck and maybe if you haven't already, try our own BDSM Personals.

Also, though places like Alt and Bondage exist and attract a large audience, smaller sites often cut down on the wannabes.....I was on Alt and met many through there, but despite our being on opposite sides of the globe, Master and I found each other on a much smaller site, moonkissed.co.uk . My experience has been the more places you place an advert, the more detailed you are in what you are seeking in the relationship, and open about yourself, the greater success you have with the serious minded....the wannabes tend to not like so much to read through!!

Catalina

 

[WriterDom]

If you Good luck and maybe if you haven't already, try our own BDSM Personals.

Also, though places like Alt and Bondage exist and attract a large audience, smaller sites often cut down on the wannabes.....I was on Alt and met many through there, but despite our being on opposite sides of the globe, Master and I found each other on a much smaller site, moonkissed.co.uk . My experience has been the more places you place an advert, the more detailed you are in what you are seeking in the relationship, and open about yourself, the greater success you have with the serious minded....the wannabes tend to not like so much to read through!!

Catalina

In my opinion, personals are a waste of time for a guy, much more a sub. I'd go with direct contact. And sniff out nilla women to see if they'd be interested.

 

[alonelygal]

.

 

[catalina_francisco]

In my opinion, personals are a waste of time for a guy, much more a sub. I'd go with direct contact. And sniff out nilla women to see if they'd be interested.

Maybe, but as I've said before, why go looking for vegetables in the butcher shop....you may find some if your lucky and they have some joiunt promotion happening, but unlikely....quicker to go to where you expect to find it. At least you have a chance of increasing your odds and eliminating the wasted time and energy of dating 20 vanillas before finding one who might just think it could be a bit of a lark to try. I actually know a few men, apart from Master, both sub and Dom, who have successfuly found their one through the personals. I think a lot is in the approach and the way you present too...if a man puts up a 1-2 line ad, as many male and females do, you can't hope to get much response, at least not worthwhile. Both Francisco and I, while searching, did not bother responding to such ads or emails.

Catalina

 

[Shadowsdream]

A little caution when speaking with a Domme online when you are in the search mode.

Have enough respect not to use the lazy chat talk of "u" "ur" "4"
etc. Most of My Mistress friends and I have had discussions about how quickly We lose interest in messages formulated with abbreviations.

Don't approach with the line "can i be your slave?" She hears that line a dozen times a day from men that don't see anything but Her title. If She is real She will not be impressed and may infact just blow you off without even finding out if there is value in you as a submissive.

Show your intellect not your horniness if you hope to be taken seriously.

 

[Telafio]

Thank you all so much for your kind words of encouragement and advice.

If Dommes were as abundant as free advice I would be living in the laps of the Gods.

I think my trouble is confessing my submissive side to a female. Yeh, I know if she was a true Domme I would have no need to confess, as she would instantly recognise this to be the case.

The trouble is I have just never met one. Perhaps I have and unbeknown to myself I have missed the signals.

Perhaps my everyday behaviour suggests to people that I am not submissive. I run my own company and control the careers of 20 odd employees. I am a strict follower of the edict of not mixing business with pleasure. Therin, perhaps lies the problem. You see it's hard to act dominant and run a business, when all the time my sexual prefrences are to be submissive.

I think I shall take the advice of someone and stop looking.

From all accounts this is the most positive time for events to fall into place to facilitate a chance meeting.

Do I sound sceptical?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Thank you all so much for your kind words of encouragement and advice.

If Dommes were as abundant as free advice I would be living in the laps of the Gods.

I think my trouble is confessing my submissive side to a female. Yeh, I know if she was a true Domme I would have no need to confess, as she would instantly recognise this to be the case.

The trouble is I have just never met one. Perhaps I have and unbeknown to myself I have missed the signals.

Perhaps my everyday behaviour suggests to people that I am not submissive. I run my own company and control the careers of 20 odd employees. I am a strict follower of the edict of not mixing business with pleasure. Therin, perhaps lies the problem. You see it's hard to act dominant and run a business, when all the time my sexual prefrences are to be submissive.

I think I shall take the advice of someone and stop looking.

From all accounts this is the most positive time for events to fall into place to facilitate a chance meeting.

Do I sound sceptical?

yes

 

[Telafio]

yes

Very apt and to the point Shadsdream.

I apoligise for rambling.

 

[Four_Inch_Heels]

Perhaps my everyday behaviour suggests to people that I am not submissive. I run my own company and control the careers of 20 odd employees. I am a strict follower of the edict of not mixing business with pleasure. Therin, perhaps lies the problem. You see it's hard to act dominant and run a business, when all the time my sexual prefrences are to be submissive.

Would you be surprised to learn most male subs hold positions of authority in their everyday lives? They long to give up that power and control in their "private" lives.

Good luck to you!

 

[wolf2002]

Would you be surprised to learn most male subs hold positions of authority in their everyday lives? They long to give up that power and control in their "private" lives.

I completely agree with this... and each female with a drop of Domme blood in her veins (or more) will immediately recognize this...

I think 'stop looking' is the worst way to ever find a Domme... they usually like you beg a little

I am no expert on this and I know the search is terribly difficult and frustrating, but I still believe internet is a good place to find likeminded...

I won;t give you much chance with placing an add though... but there are Dommes that are on the search theirselves... in my experience you'll have more luck responding to their adds... just keep in mind they receive tons of requests from submissive (or just horny) males, so your first impression should be really stunning... you'll have to put your heart in it...

Good luck!

Wolf

 

[Telafio]

Thanks for the input four inch heels and wolf.

The search continues.

Anyone would think I was asking for the world here.

So half say keep looking, half say give up and wait to be found.

Now I think I'm beginning to see where the switch first morphed from. They were searching for one and tried looking in both places.