finding a Dom...

[sweetsub4u]

...

.....

 

[catalina_francisco]

I've known some who have...some lasted and became permanent, others parted...time depends on those involved.

Catalina

 

[subwannabe]

I'm not sure there is going to be any relevant answer to your second question. Everyone is so different you can't compare one relationship with another.

 

[Loverskitten]

My suggestion is look for friends on Lit. I've found a few good ones. There are tons of idiots who will send you PMs (probably already have) if you find a good friend and it turns into more, awesome! But don't dive in, it's a shallow pool.

 

[FluteMaster]

Has anyone ever found a Dom or sub on Lit that led to meaningful BDSM relationship? If so, how long did it take?

I've had two BDSM relationships with submissives that happened through LIT...one that lated one year, and one that lasted three years.

But then, I do have the advantage of being a somewhat prolific author on here, so potential submissives can see what I like and how I think in advance of talking to me.

However, I would also say, as you have been warned, there are a LOT of toads on here, and actually few princes who know what they doing. People who treat you like a role (someone who sees you as a way of fulfilling their fantasy), should be avoided like the plague. Get to know someone, share, establish a rapport, and then take from there.

Best of all...establish a presence on here by posting and taking part in conversations.

Good luck in your search.

 

[hunter303073]

Dom

Hey sweet where are you located

 

[Sharon_]

My suggestion is look for friends on Lit. I've found a few good ones. There are tons of idiots who will send you PMs (probably already have) if you find a good friend and it turns into more, awesome! But don't dive in, it's a shallow pool.

It makes no sense to me to date or start a relationship with someone one doesn't know let alone hold in trust as a friend, but the friend zone being the death knell of romance seems to be the prevailing opinion across the 'net.

It seems horribly inefficient at the very least to waste time, effort and money hooking up with strangers or near strangers just to see if you might like them...I don't think I've been in a relationship with a non-friend since I was a teen.

I was wondering if your stance is common in this subculture or if, like me, we're just the odd women out?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I was wondering if your stance is common in this subculture or if, like me, we're just the odd women out?

That is an interesting question!

My take is that particular stance-- people who fuck first and then see if they can be friends-- will surely be found in this subculture. BDSM after all, is a sexual-- and sensory-- preference, at least as much as a relationship preference. For some people the relationship preference is mighty secondary.

 

[Loverskitten]

It makes no sense to me to date or start a relationship with someone one doesn't know let alone hold in trust as a friend, but the friend zone being the death knell of romance seems to be the prevailing opinion across the 'net.

It seems horribly inefficient at the very least to waste time, effort and money hooking up with strangers or near strangers just to see if you might like them...I don't think I've been in a relationship with a non-friend since I was a teen.

I was wondering if your stance is common in this subculture or if, like me, we're just the odd women out?

Well, don't get me wrong, I DO online date and have done the hookup first, relationship later thing. Although that's not my norm.
Just not here. It's ummmm, different, here.

 

[NaughtyRedSiren]

My suggestion is look for friends on Lit. I've found a few good ones. There are tons of idiots who will send you PMs (probably already have) if you find a good friend and it turns into more, awesome! But don't dive in, it's a shallow pool.

I would have to agree with Loverskitten.... You have to be VERY careful jumping in! lol Some weirdos out there.... but there are some real jewels out there... great people people... Have fun!

 

[SexKitten909]

You can, but be wary.

When I began exploring the Lit boards for a Dom, I did it dangerously and recklessly. Too many 'doms' want to jump straight in to the fun, kinky times. While that seems very appealing at first, it's extremely easy for a new submissive to get roped in to an unsafe dom's antics. Get to know the person first. Don't share too much. Internet predators do exist. But be prepared and accepting of a good relationship. I stumbled upon my current Dom, and I am very happy with how things have progressed. It makes me hopeful for the future.

Literotica is a great tool to find people with like interests, as is fetlife, and other kink websites. Precautions are always necessary, though, and patience is a much.

 

[JMohegan]

Ask yourself why he hasn't been successful in his own neck of the woods.

Then ask him why he's fishing online. Think carefully about the answer.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ask yourself why he hasn't been successful in his own neck of the woods.

Then ask him why he's fishing online. Think carefully about the answer.

Excellent advice!!

Catalina