Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[PhiloDaddy]

Why don't skipping stones immediately sink to the bottom?

It has something to do with testicular mass, acceleration, and lube... but I flunked that class.

Why did Mary's lamb have fleece as white as snow?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

The naked shepherd terrified the black lamb turning it snowy white!

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

 

[ImpishSeraph]

He was tired of the perverts in the fields at night and was trying to get away.

How do speed limits help you?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

He was tired of the perverts in the fields at night and was trying to get away.

How do speed limits help you?

Inferior condoms tend to have a low flash point. Slow fucking saves lives.

Who invented speed bumps?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

The same guy that invented the bra!

Who invented the jock strap?

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

A guy who wanted his balls kept near and dear to him.

What's the proper way to eat an ice cream cone without it making a mess?

 

[flynn99]

A guy who wanted his balls kept near and dear to him.

What's the proper way to eat an ice cream cone without it making a mess?

Same way you eat genitalia -- slurp a lot and swallow!

We're having a "focus group" at work tomorrow --what's that?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

A delusional and borings attempt to clarify confusing data that has nothing to do with tasks at hand.

Why do birds always crap all over your vehicle right after you washed it?

 

[flynn99]

A delusional and borings attempt to clarify confusing data that has nothing to do with tasks at hand.

Why do birds always crap all over your vehicle right after you washed it?

Because they just went to a focus group and thought you were responsible.

Why doesn't spandex "breathe"?

 

[ImpishSeraph]

That's why I cut two perfectly placed holes in them. Much better access points for the..um.. air to get through.

Why are some storms so powerful?

 

[flynn99]

That's why I cut two perfectly placed holes in them. Much better access pints for the..um.. air to get through.

Why are some storms so powerful?

(while sitting here watching Milton "storming" through the gulf on trajectory to flatten my house, I really have to discipline myself not to answer literally )

to force people to stay inside with the electricity out and nothing better to do than fuck.

Why would you give a category 5 hurricane an un-intimidating name like "Milton"?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

(while sitting here watching Milton "storming" through the gulf on trajectory to flatten my house, I really have to discipline myself not to answer literally )

to force people to stay inside with the electricity out and nothing better to do than fuck.

Why would you give a category 5 hurricane an un-intimidating name like "Milton"?

To lure you into a false sense of survivability. I call my dick Eugene for that very reason.
When will winter end?

 

[ImpishSeraph]

To lure you into a false sense of survivability. I call my dick Eugene for that very reason.
When will winter end?

(I don't have that season)

When you start having some kinky sex. It will warm up quite nicely

How often should you wash your sheets?

 

[flynn99]

(I don't have that season)

When you start having some kinky sex. It will warm up quite nicely

How often should you wash your sheets?

never! It's a lot more fun when it's sticky!

Oops, just realized I accidentally replied out of order earlier and caused @BlueEyes1969 question to evaporate... so in honor of his question (and with apologies), I'll repeat it here:

Why do people shop in Big Box Stores?

 

[ImpishSeraph]

never! It's a lot more fun when it's sticky!

Oops, just realized I accidentally replied out of order earlier and caused @BlueEyes1969 question to evaporate... so in honor of his question (and with apologies), I'll repeat it here:

Why do people shop in Big Box Stores?

@BlueEyes1969
Some men have really large girth and need a bigger box.

Why do we have to get in the closet if a tornado is coming?

 

[flynn99]

@BlueEyes1969
Some men have really large girth and need a bigger box.

Why do we have to get in the closet if a tornado is coming?

Because when it's over, our parents won't mind so much when we come out of the closet, "at least he's alive!"

What, exactly, are "crop circles"?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

The rings that form around the genitals after waxing or shaving!

Why do the leaves fall from the trees in autumn?

 

[ImpishSeraph]

It's all the the ass lover's fault. They like to see everyone bend over to pick them up

Where should I go if I have good company and want to be entertained?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

Disneyland on Gay Pride Day!

Why do people run stop signs and traffic lights?

 

[flynn99]

The rings that form around the genitals after waxing or shaving!

Why do the leaves fall from the trees in autumn?

Wait! What is Autumn doing with trees in her anyway? Bad case of Dendrophilia?

Oops -- I answered out of order -- repeating @BlueEyes1969's question:

Why do people run stop signs and traffic lights?

 

[summer_reine]

Disneyland on Gay Pride Day!

Why do people run stop signs and traffic lights?

Their autodrive car is too busy filming the porn in the front seat

Why do potheads laugh so much?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Their autodrive car is too busy filming the porn in the front seat

Why do potheads laugh so much?

Because it tickles when their partners get the munchies.

What is the Aurora Borealis?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

The ultimate orgasm!

Why do donkeys bray?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The ultimate orgasm!

Why do donkeys bray?

For the same reason fools fall in love.

Why do fools fall in love?

 

[Sappho_CGN]

@lovecraft68

if you have enough steam for the whole night ...

Where are my black stilettos?