Fighting for your Sub??

[MeekMe]

I agree that your position offers a unique challenge --- that most guys would refuse to consider!!! I'm sure you understand -- why would someone put up with that kind of "bull shit" attitude!!!!

The only type of person that would even consider dealing with that attitude is someone who is looking to justify or prove dominance or someone who actually sees something in you that has some type of worth.

Your attitude statement is a statement that you have worth --- what makes you worthy -- are you just so damn pretty that you are worthy --- are so damn intelligent that everybody is in awe. Or are you just so afraid you push real people away.

Show your real self!!!

Speak for yourself. Generalizations go over very badly here.

If someone has standards and comes up with a test to see if people meet those standards, good for them. That "bull shit" attitude!!! Is part of that person.

Clearly this isn't the type if play you like, move along.

 

[KoPilot]

I'm just a naturally stone-cold and aloof. And I've had guys piss all over themselves because they'd led themselves to believe that "women" weren't ACTUALLY that way deep down (not that I'm even a woman) or that it's always a front, or that they shouldn't be that way or something, and the only work a guy should have to do in order to win a girl's heart is to pay for dinner and show her his dick.

Christ. Get a life.

 

[DistinctlySouthern]

Speak for yourself. Generalizations go over very badly here.

If someone has standards and comes up with a test to see if people meet those standards, good for them. That "bull shit" attitude!!! Is part of that person.

Clearly this isn't the type if play you like, move along.

This isn't play --- its life ---- and "bull shit attitudes" are a dime a dozen and should be dismissed!

 

[KoPilot]

This isn't play --- its life ---- and "bull shit attitudes" are a dime a dozen and should be dismissed!

Psst-- I've got what you'd probably call a ""bullshit attitude"" and I'm fucking married at 25. Don't be a pissbaby because you couldn't handle me.

 

[MeekMe]

This isn't play --- its life ---- and "bull shit attitudes" are a dime a dozen and should be dismissed!

LMFAO

Why is it that submissives have to prove they're submissive enough, but D-types (the D is for douche bag) feel like they don't have to earn that submission?

Too funny.

 

[DistinctlySouthern]

Psst-- I've got what you'd probably call a ""bullshit attitude"" and I'm fucking married at 25. Don't be a pissbaby because you couldn't handle me.

I can hear your attitude -- it is loud, annoying and benefits no one. What makes you think someone wants to handle you??? It just pushes people away.

 

[DistinctlySouthern]

LMFAO

Why is it that submissives have to prove they're submissive enough, but D-types (the D is for douche bag) feel like they don't have to earn that submission?

Too funny.

Because they are submissive --- If you want to be a D-type you made good start!!!

 

[MeekMe]

I can hear your attitude -- it is loud, annoying and benefits no one. What makes you think someone wants to handle you??? It just pushes people away.

First of all, no one needs to be "handled." Secondly, people can be however the fuck they want to be. Third, I didn't see "attitude" it wasn't loud, and certainly not annoying.

What IS annoying is someone coming in telling other people how they should be. And using too many ---- ??? !!!!.

Because they are submissive --- If you want to be a D-type you made good start!!!

Oh man... The Twue Dom has spoken.

Listen, if you want someone to be submissive to you and you don't like to work for it, then move along. There ARE people who enjoy these traits. Those people are NOT wrong. They just aren't compatible with YOU.

I know I'm an asshole and I'm happy to own up to it. A little something I got from my Mister.

 

[36524]

I think the misunderstanding is that if we're talking submission during sex, I think a Dom should not be challenged (make rules, expectations, and safety beforehand). And if you want a man to prove to you he's worthy, that's what dating is for. Learn about him, learn about his strengths and weaknesses, and then decide if you'd like to submit to him.

 

[KoPilot]

I can hear your attitude -- it is loud, annoying and benefits no one. What makes you think someone wants to handle you??? It just pushes people away.

Own your opinions. Say "me" instead of "people". I have puh-lenty of friends, thanks.

 

[KoPilot]

Never understood why there's this idea that you have to be palatable and cordial to any one person? Fuck off, I'll have an attitude with whomever I feel deserves it.

And I'll start with those who, once again, can't even handle the very idea of me.

 

[BritChap]

As for me and my relationship, your concerns are complete non-issues.

Put your ego back in its cave, dear, nobody was talking to you.

I think the misunderstanding is that if we're talking submission during sex, I think a Dom should not be challenged (make rules, expectations, and safety beforehand). And if you want a man to prove to you he's worthy, that's what dating is for. Learn about him, learn about his strengths and weaknesses, and then decide if you'd like to submit to him.

This is what I was getting at. Yet dumbos keep worshipping at the feet of self-labelled"submissives" who post all this "I'm so hard I'll bust your balls because there's no true men out there" nonsense - which, I suspect, is what they really wanted all along.

 

[MeekMe]

I think the misunderstanding is that if we're talking submission during sex, I think a Dom should not be challenged (make rules, expectations, and safety beforehand). And if you want a man to prove to you he's worthy, that's what dating is for. Learn about him, learn about his strengths and weaknesses, and then decide if you'd like to submit to him.

It's cool that you think that way and conduct yourself that way. Some people just have other ideas. If this is something that works for them, then I'm not going to knock it.

As for whether a dom should be challenged during sex or not, that's for the individual to decide. Sometimes you don't really know what you're getting during sex, even if you have talked for hours about it beforehand. Part of learning about someone is actually getting physical with them. Dating someone, you really don't know what kind of chemistry you have in the bedroom until you get to that point. Up until then it's all talk. So basically, you talked a big game, prove to me that it wasn't all talk. I don't see anything wrong with that.


I gladly submit to my husband because I know and trust him very well. We've been together for over 10 years. If I were in the dating pool again, and searching for a dominant partner, I believe I'd test him in a similar fashion. I'd happily submit, but I want to know for sure that he's really into it and not just talking a big game to get easy kinky sex.

 

[36524]

It's cool that you think that way and conduct yourself that way. Some people just have other ideas. If this is something that works for them, then I'm not going to knock it.

As for whether a dom should be challenged during sex or not, that's for the individual to decide. Sometimes you don't really know what you're getting during sex, even if you have talked for hours about it beforehand. Part of learning about someone is actually getting physical with them. Dating someone, you really don't know what kind of chemistry you have in the bedroom until you get to that point. Up until then it's all talk. So basically, you talked a big game, prove to me that it wasn't all talk. I don't see anything wrong with that.


I gladly submit to my husband because I know and trust him very well. We've been together for over 10 years. If I were in the dating pool again, and searching for a dominant partner, I believe I'd test him in a similar fashion. I'd happily submit, but I want to know for sure that he's really into it and not just talking a big game to get easy kinky sex.

You and OP are right, I would not at all even hint at telling you how to live which way or other. I was just trying to explain the "common" view point shared by Doms whose instinct is to command and dominate, since she does question whether her behavior is inappropriate. I think there are other ways to test a man's integrity as long as you have patience and show him exactly the kind of personality you are over tea just as much as you would during sex. And also that the Dom is testing you as a sub, to evaluate your own word and follow-through. Of course expectations must work both ways, but I think the Dom must recognize you as his alpha bitch in this particular dynamic. Or the Dom just has to have that special flavor for fight and enjoy "taming" that in a sub.

 

[KoPilot]

Put your ego back in its cave, dear, nobody was talking to you.

You were addressing the thread. I'm part of the thread, honey-buns.

This is what I was getting at. Yet dumbos keep worshipping at the feet of self-labelled"submissives" who post all this "I'm so hard I'll bust your balls because there's no true men out there" nonsense - which, I suspect, is what they really wanted all along.

Oooh, mister hyperbole nailed it.

How dare people do things their way and have a partner that's on the same page? For shame. It's BritChap's way or the highway, people! You heard the Man(TM)!

 

[Netzach]

I think the misunderstanding is that if we're talking submission during sex, I think a Dom should not be challenged (make rules, expectations, and safety beforehand). And if you want a man to prove to you he's worthy, that's what dating is for. Learn about him, learn about his strengths and weaknesses, and then decide if you'd like to submit to him.

Unless that's, like, what you want to do.

I have no problem being challenged during the sex portion of the get-together - provided I have some idea that I should expect it and that's your scene and that's your idea of fun. Or that's what happens if I push you where you really want to go, but don't want to admit you want to go - or something like that. Cool.

Where I have a problem goes back to page one of all this, where she's springing it on the guy as some fun cute idea of communication. That's basically crappy to do, and no one would be super thrilled if the D party operated that way in the get to know you stages.

Obviously if you are a brat renegade wild pony whatever in an established relationship with a significant other who appreciates you - they must be getting their needs met. The OP showed a nasty little streak of basically pass my test and whatever you want out of this be damned, access to my golden pussy should be the pinnacle of your needs.

THAT is bullshit. That is also not the same as bratting challenging not rolling over and all that. I can't help it if a lot of guys are oblivious to the nuanced difference between those things, I can't help it if a lot of D's are oblivious to the nuanced differences between sexy or realistic relational pushback and being a tool - but that doesn't mean there isn't one.

 

[36524]

Unless that's, like, what you want to do.

I have no problem being challenged during the sex portion of the get-together - provided I have some idea that I should expect it and that's your scene and that's your idea of fun. Where I have a problem goes back to page one of all this, where she's springing it on the guy as some fun cute idea of communication. That's basically crappy to do, and no one would be super thrilled if the D party operated that way in the get to know you stages.

Obviously if you are a brat renegade wild pony whatever in an established relationship with a significant other who appreciates you - they must be getting their needs met. The OP showed a nasty little streak of basically pass my test and whatever you want out of this be damned, access to my golden pussy should be the pinnacle of your needs.

THAT is bullshit. That is also not the same as bratting challenging not rolling over and all that.

Yeah, communication of expectations seems to be lacking. I agree with you, Netzach.

 

[KoPilot]

Unless that's, like, what you want to do.

I have no problem being challenged during the sex portion of the get-together - provided I have some idea that I should expect it and that's your scene and that's your idea of fun. Or that's what happens if I push you where you really want to go, but don't want to admit you want to go - or something like that. Cool.

Where I have a problem goes back to page one of all this, where she's springing it on the guy as some fun cute idea of communication. That's basically crappy to do, and no one would be super thrilled if the D party operated that way in the get to know you stages.

Obviously if you are a brat renegade wild pony whatever in an established relationship with a significant other who appreciates you - they must be getting their needs met. The OP showed a nasty little streak of basically pass my test and whatever you want out of this be damned, access to my golden pussy should be the pinnacle of your needs.

THAT is bullshit. That is also not the same as bratting challenging not rolling over and all that. I can't help it if a lot of guys are oblivious to the nuanced difference between those things, I can't help it if a lot of D's are oblivious to the nuanced differences between sexy or realistic relational pushback and being a tool - but that doesn't mean there isn't one.

Agreed. Unfortunately, these lines are practically nonexistent for some of the posters.