femsubs & Humiliation/Degradation play

[Technodivinitas]

Okay, I'm attaching a poll to this, But I do hope to hear folks' thoughts on the topic, whether female subs who dig or don't, or Dom/mes experiences with them.

For my part, I can't get enough of the things I consider debasement- the term "Humiliation" doesn't really click for me though, because to me, that brings to mind foolishness. (*Clown wigs, giant cartoon diapers, etc...) For me, the term debasement is better. To make low. Crawling, begging, name-calling, rimming, head in the toilet... And to make me actively participate in my own debasement definitely tweaks my freaky. Plus, there are all sorts of things my Master could threaten to do that are still lower than I'm certain I'd go. I have told him in no uncertain terms that there's nothing he can't at least try on me. I know my safeword, and I'll use it if I have to, but I do trust him a very long way.

The shame thing is definitely a plus, but conversely, I don't think I could cope if I didn't love and trust him so very much. I'd still like some of that, but not anywhere near as much, and I need either a lot of warm fuzzy aftercare, or for the shame to be applied from a loving PoV. (As in, "Such a good little whore, aren't you? Crawl to my cock and show me what a hungry slut you are...")

So. Thoughts?

(And how come all the books say it's almost a male-exclusive fetish?)

*Footnote: My appologies if I have offended anyone who engages in clown wig or giant cartoon diaper play...

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

Just to add a little note from the other side of the fence, humiliation is a really tough kink to dom/me for. You have to not only find out whether public is okay, but also exactly what's hot and what crosses the line with that particular sub. And if that's not enough, you have to come up with new ideas - and figure out whether that's good or not for that sub - or the stuff you've been doing gets old and boring.

Whew!

 

[Netzach]

I have femsubs who get into nastiness, if that counts.

 

[Queen Bee]

I have enjoyed both giving and receiving mild debasement, name calling, and rough treatment. I prefer to keep it separate from the affectionate warm fuzzy stuff. I have never engaged in any public humiliation activities.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Humiliation is my bread and butter---the heart of my sexuality. TOrtures, bondages and rituals bore me.

Books lie.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Okay, I'm attaching a poll to this, But I do hope to hear folks' thoughts on the topic, whether female subs who dig or don't, or Dom/mes experiences with them.

For my part, I can't get enough of the things I consider debasement- the term "Humiliation" doesn't really click for me though, because to me, that brings to mind foolishness. (*Clown wigs, giant cartoon diapers, etc...) For me, the term debasement is better. To make low. Crawling, begging, name-calling, rimming, head in the toilet... And to make me actively participate in my own debasement definitely tweaks my freaky. Plus, there are all sorts of things my Master could threaten to do that are still lower than I'm certain I'd go. I have told him in no uncertain terms that there's nothing he can't at least try on me. I know my safeword, and I'll use it if I have to, but I do trust him a very long way.

The shame thing is definitely a plus, but conversely, I don't think I could cope if I didn't love and trust him so very much. I'd still like some of that, but not anywhere near as much, and I need either a lot of warm fuzzy aftercare, or for the shame to be applied from a loving PoV. (As in, "Such a good little whore, aren't you? Crawl to my cock and show me what a hungry slut you are...")

S [/I]

Some of the things you mentioned would not work for me -- generally scat related such as head in toilet.

the rest, though, hell Yes! I couldn't pick a category in the poll but like the topic so posting here. I'm still working on the category. Shame maybe? (Which is funny because intellectually I don't relate to the concept of feeling bad about any of this stuff.) Still, you're crawling description is definitely up my alley. And I beg to be allowed to beg. no go. We're still working on finding what works for us both here. Inspections fit into this category for me, as does kneeling, being secretly fingered in public or having to say, remove clothes. There was also something that happened a long time ago that I've tried to understand that seems to fit here or into non-consent. (A guy came and sat next to me in an empty and deserted library. Right NEXT to me. Despite all that room. Then started sniffing, like he had a cold. It was truly disgusting, and I wanted him to go away. And didn't want to be forced to move, myself, which is what it seemed like he was trying to do. And yet I got turned on. Which Really embarrassed me.)

Telliing my dh that he can do things to me like fuck me when I'm sleeping or just come right up to me when I'm doing something and put his hand down my pants or shirt feels like it's in this category. Especially if he does it while looking me seriously, calmly, right in the eyes.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Re: femsubs & Humiliation/Degradation play

or just come right up to me when I'm doing something and put his hand down my pants or shirt feels like it's in this category. Especially if he does it while looking me seriously, calmly, right in the eyes.

Edgeplay, kids: it's not for everyone.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Re: Re: Re: femsubs & Humiliation/Degradation play

Edgeplay, kids: it's not for everyone.

IS that edgeplay, RR?

Or are you just teasing me because I'm so vanilla and lightweight?

 

[s'lara]

As mentioned in the other thread about masochism, the right mixture is key.

i think it's about skillfully turning the sub on their ear. This kind of play is very attractive in its own right and while humiliation/degradation practices are certainly not for daily implementation, i think they have their place.

lara

 

[Etoile]

Re: Re: Re: Re: femsubs & Humiliation/Degradation play

IS that edgeplay, RR?

Or are you just teasing me because I'm so vanilla and lightweight?

I wouldn't consider it edgeplay, but then I like that sort of thing.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Speedy jump and rub

IS that edgeplay, RR?

Or are you just teasing me because I'm so vanilla and lightweight?

In your case, we'll allow

• a plastic knife
• while standing on a speedbump
• in a well-lit deserted parking lot
• at midnight

Enjoy your day darlin' ...http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

Back on topic ...

• Heady
• Dangerous
• 2-ton straw wisp breaking the camel's back
• Mangler of egos and psyches
• Ambrosia of Mt Olympus

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

After AA's post.. well.. Just.. hmm.. yes I slapped the button about make me do what the hell you want just no verbal debasement.. Though the use of "foul" language is delightful to me I'm thinking it's just the.. demanding quality of the voice that I shy from when such words are used.. obscenities and crshness or harshness in the tone are what flip my "run and hide" trigger.. But I love pain in most it's forms and so physically being dragged about 'n such.. being a footrest.. or treated as one treats their dog is just exilirateing to me. that lack of control I have I think is the ultimate turn-on. giveing myself over to another's pleasure in whatever way. So humiliation or debasement is a lareg part of that... But I agree with Lara I think who said it's not a full-time thing.. though it is in my mind 24/7.. if all sceneing was done was humiliation I'de eb in heaven for a few weeks.. but after awhile.. it'd mean less..

now that was fun weaving back and forth on the subject...

 

[Technodivinitas]

...Though the use of "foul" language is delightful to me I'm thinking it's just the.. demanding quality of the voice that I shy from when such words are used.. obscenities and crshness or harshness in the tone are what flip my "run and hide" trigger...

So, if he called you a cumsucking little whore, but in a sweet and affectionate voice, (even patronizingly so?) that'd be alright, but if he snarled it, in the context of, say, telling you he was going to fuck you until you squeel like a pig... that'd be off limits?

I can definitely see the difference, and though I get totally drenched for both, I couldn't take that snarling, screaming, viciousness all the time. (In fact, I generally need warmth & reassurance once a scene like that's over.)

Sorry the categories don't cover everything- that'd probably a million-options list!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Re: Speedy jump and rub

In your case, we'll allow

• a plastic knife
• while standing on a speedbump
• in a well-lit deserted parking lot
• at midnight

Enjoy your day darlin' ...http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

Back on topic ...

• Heady
• Dangerous
• 2-ton straw wisp breaking the camel's back
• Mangler of egos and psyches
• Ambrosia of Mt Olympus

Wow, I understand almost None of that! That's a new record for me. Am I just incredibly obtuse or you a bit obscure from time to time? Darklady, can You explain to me AA's post? (I know he won't.) It was very interesting though. I dont even get the on-topic stuff. ie. Ambrosia of Mt. Olympus? Reference to the icing on the cake?

We are Sooooo on diff wavelenghts, or something. Like you'r technogroove and I'm a folky.

 

[Technodivinitas]

Re: Speedy jump and rub

In your case, we'll allow

• a plastic knife
• while standing on a speedbump
• in a well-lit deserted parking lot
• at midnight

Enjoy your day darlin' ...http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

Back on topic ...

• Heady
• Dangerous
• 2-ton straw wisp breaking the camel's back
• Mangler of egos and psyches
• Ambrosia of Mt Olympus

Well, I can't say I quite get the plastic knife-speedbump thing, (though I'm pretty sure I get it's context at least. ) I've been pondering AA's second list since he posted it, and I've come to the conclusion that he actually is being on topic, although I'm not sure he's saying he enjoys humiliating, or being humiliated... (Latter seems unlikely.)

And AA? I might consider betting on that hole card-but first you have to tell me; did you mean the card that's face down...
or the queen?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Calling, raising and keeping in line with the topic

And AA? I might consider betting on that hole card-but first you have to tell me; did you mean the card that's face down...
or the queen?

If she's my queen, she's fully exposed ... face down and ass high in the air.

Now you have to ask yourself what i have as a hole card for that queen to service.

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

I would NEVER assume what AA means. I can only guess.. But I have noticed amusement in the posts. It's like tugging a tiger by the tail... just not healthy.. so I'm not gonna say much.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Shushing the kibitzer ...

I would NEVER assume what AA means. I can only guess.. But I have noticed amusement in the posts. It's like tugging a tiger by the tail... just not healthy.. so I'm not gonna say much.

No advice to the players at the table, m'lady. People get shot for much less when the stakes get this high.

*quietly lays the nailgun on the table*

 

[Technodivinitas]

Re: Calling, raising and keeping in line with the topic

DLD said:

I would NEVER assume what AA means. I can only guess.. But I have noticed amusement in the posts. It's like tugging a tiger by the tail... just not healthy.. so I'm not gonna say much.

Well I'm not even gonna start to try and list the things that are a lot more fun than they are good for you. Many of them are killing me at this very moment. So I guess I'm not one to consider that a deterent. Besides... he wants me to ask what he's got in his hole. How can I pass that up?

 

[Technodivinitas]

Re: Calling, raising and keeping in line with the topic

If she's my queen, she's fully exposed ... face down and ass high in the air.

Now you have to ask yourself what i have as a hole card for that queen to service.

Only a masochist queen can be face down and fully exposed. (Oh- or a drunk transvestite...)

But what I really have to ask myself is, what kind of service would someone like you demand of a queen? (And would she keep her crown, or leave it hanging when you're through?)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Calling, raising and keeping in line with the topic

Your move...

http://www.discountpoolcues.com/Home_Chip_animation.gif

 

[Technodivinitas]

Damn, but you are wicked! (Wait- where does the wager currently stand, anyhow? And where the hell are my cards?)

But I can't stand the torment, and I think I'll savor losing at least as much as winning, so I'll see your bet, and cross just one set of fingers under the table.
(I'm not going to say where under the table, either!)

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

Giggles and pulls up a seat.. makes a bag of popcorn too...

Oooo...

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

Giggles and pulls up a seat.. makes a bag of popcorn too...

Oooo...

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Damn, but you are wicked! And where the hell are my cards?)

Based on yours,

http://library.thinkquest.org/6133/MVC-008S.JPG

i don't have a King high straight flush ...

http://images.gamelandsports.com/www.gamelandsports.com/rflushb.jpg

But I can't stand the torment, and I think I'll savor losing at least as much as winning, so I'll see your bet, and cross just one set of fingers under the table.
(I'm not going to say where under the table, either!)

i take it you've called?