Femdom

[270buck]

I have big fantasy bout my wife dominating me. I've her to make me her sex toy for a whole week. By making me make her cum every night different ways but denying me from cumming. I gave her a detailed letter with some ideas for her to do. So far this week she done it but don't think she is really into it. Are there any others into this. And if so what have you been made to do.

 

[SweetErika]

If you're giving her written instructions on how you want to be dominated, is she really dominating you at all?

I'd suggest thinking about and asking her what she truly likes and how you can make her life easier. Things like housework and serving her whims may not be the stuff of your fantasies, but perhaps they could show her how dominating you can benefit/be appealing to her. And if she finds the excitement in it for her, she may find confidence and pleasure in domination and be willing to try some of the things you also find exciting.

Go for reality in the spirit of pleasing her, and then see if some of the elements from your fantasies follow. I think you'll find that most of the women who are into dominating like a reality-based approach and find the 'here's my fantasy; do this stuff to me and be my fantasy Domme' approach to be a huge turn-off.

 

[270buck]

thanks for the advice

 

[Shywong]

I love femdom, particularly face sitting because cunnilingus is one of my 3 major fetishes. Though I'm not in favor of sadism or masochism, I'd rather women in control than men, its infinitely sexier.

 

[Kikori]

Erika pretty much covered it. If you have to request she do it, you're basically telling her how to use you. That's dominating her into playing with you. Femdom isn't just a sex thing. If she knows you'll obey and serve her around the house, too, she's more likely to become comfortable with giving you commands on what she wants, with the rewards for a job well done being the domination in bed you want. But if she's recieving no benefit from it, it's not femdom. At all.

 

[Ronnie_4]

Several years ago I asked my Wife play sex games with me, Mistress / slave type of stuff. In effect to dominate me. She looked at me like I was crazy and to say the least she would have no part of it. About a year when by and I just started doing more things around the house. And I agree with SweetErika, she is absolutely right about helping or serving your Wife. I just started doing the dishes, laundry and housework in general. I never even discussed my motives with her I just did it.

Mentally I stopped thinking of myself as being the man of the house. Instead in my mind she is the Mistress of the house. Over time she began to pick up on the cues. She started becoming more forceful in her speech and demeanor. She would tell me to do something rather than asking me to do something. Simple things like get me a drink or get dressed and go to the store.

Our sexlife changed also. For years we had been having sex about once a week. But all of a sudden it stopped. She was tired, had a headache or whatever, every excuse but no sex. One day I shaved my pubic area completely. The rest of my body is almost hairless so in effect I am very smooth all over. She really loved this and to this day I stay very smooth. It was a Sunday morning, we were still in bed and she allowed me to feel her and finger fuck her. She was very wet but when I asked her for permission to fuck her she said no. That she didn’t feel good. My cock was so hard and I was so frustrated I began stroking myself. She could feel the movement of the bed covers. She whipped them back and watched me masturbating. I looked into her eyes and asked for permission to continue. She had never seen me masturbate before and was absolutely thrilled to watch me. I quickly shot my cum.

That morning changed our life forever. She loves to watch me masturbate. It has become a regular thing for me to do in front of her. We rarely have vaginal sex, she prefers her vibrator instead. After a while she began trimming her pubic hair and wear sexy lingerie. One evening I asked her for permission to call her Mistress, she quickly said yes. She allows me to masturbate as often as I like. I always shot my cum into a hanky or a tissue. Then one time when I was ready to shoot, Mistress held out the palm of her hand for me to cum in. I shot a really big load and looked into her eyes. She never said a word, I just lapped it all up. This too has become a regular part of my masturbation.

We are very happy with our homelife and sexlife. By being gently submissive and patient I finally got the Mistress I was longing for.

Ronnie

 

[pussy_liquor]

I wish my wife was more dominate and be mean and humiliate me. Shes not much into the degrading me stuff. But she won't hesitate to cuck me.

 

[subwannabe]

When my relationship first started I was under the impression we were going to switch up. She liked being a slave and spanked, etc. I also craved being her slave but she didn't really know how to dominate me and also didn't seem to be into it when we did do it. Over time things have kind of switched. Even though she had liked to be submissive I found that almost everything I ordered her to do, she didn't want to do it. I had a hard time coming up with things to order her to do since she seemed so limited. After a while she lost all interest in her being submissive and our sex life kind of petered out.

Even though I liked to both dominate and be dominated I pretty much gave up dominating her but still had strong submissive tendancies myself. We have been working on that together. I kind of disagree with some here that say that as a submissive you shouldn't be topping from the bottom because if you are dealing with someone who is learning to dominate and doesn't really know how or what exactly it is that you like then it is hard to get anywhere. I believe it is extremely important that a dom know what their sub likes and what makes them tick and has a duty and an obligation to reward their sub for good behavior by pleasing them. Once the dom is fully trained in then I agree that the sub should cease topping from the bottom and fulfill their duties at the whim of the dom. This whole thing is about pleasing both parties, the sub and the dom, and if the dom has no direction on what pleases the sub they have to learn it somewhere, somehow.

 

[SweetErika]

I kind of disagree with some here that say that as a submissive you shouldn't be topping from the bottom because if you are dealing with someone who is learning to dominate and doesn't really know how or what exactly it is that you like then it is hard to get anywhere. I believe it is extremely important that a dom know what their sub likes and what makes them tick and has a duty and an obligation to reward their sub for good behavior by pleasing them. Once the dom is fully trained in then I agree that the sub should cease topping from the bottom and fulfill their duties at the whim of the dom. This whole thing is about pleasing both parties, the sub and the dom, and if the dom has no direction on what pleases the sub they have to learn it somewhere, somehow.

There's a big difference between what you describe and topping from the bottom, in my mind. TFTB is underhanded and manipulative, like a sub handing his Dom. a paddle and saying "I want you to use this on me" or misbehaving to get attention.