Female intelligence

[Ice2000]

Catalina made a comment on the "on line vs real" that shocked me a bit so I thought I would raise the question with the community. Not to mention I figure the title will rock Cat's boat just a little, bet she sets some sort of net speed record opening this thread with the intentions to flame


enough poking fun... but seriously..

I have a question concerning D/S relationships with regard to your partner and how you view there intelligence. particularly Male Dom's and Female Subs.

Is there seriously any Dom's out there that believe they are smarter than there female partner because they are dominant? Or because they are women? Have you subs experienced Doms voicing that that position?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Just dropping by in my busy day, and as it seems you want an answer from me amongst others (so glad I can inspire you to open a topic BTW ), yes, I have seen and heard it several times, here, other places on the net, and in RL. There are a lot of PYL's and pyl's who have the opinion to be Dominant means you have superior intellect to your (or often any) pyl. Do I believe it to be a fact? LOL, no, and I have no problem voicing that opinion as I am secure in who I am, why I am where I am, what I am, my intellect and character and how wonderful, intellectual and intelligent, not to mention sadistic, downright sexy, passionate, unique and human my own Master is.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/83/237916341_93f9355205_s.jpg Catalina

 

[Blushing Bottom]

lol

e=mc2

 

[Ice2000]

I gathered you had encounters like that from your post Cat. I'm curious how common it is..

I'm specifically attracted to women I believe to be very intelligent, for a variety of reasons but one of the most important is the power of the whole thing. The thought of having the submission of a very bright sensual woman is something that really turns me on. not to mention really boosts my ego


And I ask the question of anyone with that view.. what do you get out of controlling someone you view as not that bright? you can Dom a Dummy? Now that has to be mentally stimulating lol..


Oh... 18 min's after I started the threat. Not bad Cat, considering you weren't online at the time. Did you spill your coffee getting the thread open.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh... 18 min's after I started the threat. Not bad Cat, considering you weren't online at the time. Did you spill your coffee getting the thread open.

LOL, no, don't drink coffee. I was actually watching Frida while curled up against F who was busy playing an online game with my son....decided on the way to get his coffee to check another site I hang on far too many hours each day and clicked on Lit for a second and saw your thread....nearly left it for later, but had to wait for the coffee to be ready so thought why not look now. Still haven't checked back at the other thread, sut will get around to it eventually.

As to the topic of people who think pyls have inferior intellect, you only have to cruise threads here to see it flourishes with some....there are also many subs who state they could never submit to anyone they felt was not more intelligent than them so obviously there are a few subs who also find it a necessity to at the least put the PYL in the position of believing they are more intelligent. Sort of like the old joke that smart wives always let their husbands think they are in control while silently running and manipulating everything to fall the way they want it...not my sort of fun unfortunately, I prefer to call it how it is and deal with it.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/173/376615023_c81f9c8c7c_s.jpg Catalina

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[neonflux]

The "person in power is smarter" argument seems to be a common thread woven through a lot of femdom supremacy literature; IMO it also tends to pop up in men who are more arrogant than they are secure.

I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone who wasn't signicantly smarter than I; however, this doesn't mean my own intelligence is equivilant to that of a frog. I simply geek out on learning new things, and if the person I'm with knows more than I do, it makes a relationship far more entertaining for me; I've also yet to meet a fascinatingly intelligent man who doesn't enjoy sharing his knowledge.

Is this a question of greater intelligence, or just someone having knowledge in an area that is new to you? You're clearly grasping the conversation, it would seem.

Just asking. Neon

 

[ecstaticsub]

The "person in power is smarter" argument seems to be a common thread woven through a lot of femdom supremacy literature; IMO it also tends to pop up in men who are more arrogant than they are secure.

I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone who wasn't signicantly smarter than I; however, this doesn't mean my own intelligence is equivilant to that of a frog. I simply geek out on learning new things, and if the person I'm with knows more than I do, it makes a relationship far more entertaining for me; I've also yet to meet a fascinatingly intelligent man who doesn't enjoy sharing his knowledge.

I seek out men who know different things than I do. It is a great way to expand my knowlegde base. My Dom is older than me, much more experienced in D/s relationships, more knowledgable on many topics but equally intelligent as I am. They are many areas that I am more knowledgable than he is We have very different professions. I know he values my intelligence.

Now that I think about it, the only times I have gotten really upset with him or offended is when I feel he has insulted my intelligence.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Of course, another thing to address is what is considered inteligent and how do people measure or gauge that? For instance, someone can have lots of letters after their name and yet be totally hopeless at balancing their finances, managing everyday life decisions, dealing with human emotions, or thinking quick when in a tight or threatening situation.

Catalina

 

[Ice2000]

The "person in power is smarter" argument seems to be a common thread woven through a lot of femdom supremacy literature; IMO it also tends to pop up in men who are more arrogant than they are secure.

I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone who wasn't signicantly smarter than I; however, this doesn't mean my own intelligence is equivilant to that of a frog. I simply geek out on learning new things, and if the person I'm with knows more than I do, it makes a relationship far more entertaining for me; I've also yet to meet a fascinatingly intelligent man who doesn't enjoy sharing his knowledge.

Don't confuse intelligence with experience Cutie. I think most subs value experience in there Dom. At least so I've been told.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Don't confuse intelligence with experience Cutie. I think most subs value experience in there Dom. At least so I've been told.

LOL, I don't think Cutie is lacking in the brain department and thus isn't confused. I gathered from her post she was actually talking about intelligence, not experience. I agree with you there are many subs who seek a more experienced Dom/me, but there are also those who do not see inexperience as a disadvantage...everyone starts somewhere, and IME, whether you are PYL or pyl, you continue to learn and grow throughout your journey. If not, then it is someone I seriously am not interested in being with.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/134/376824463_35ca304946_s.jpg Catalina

 

[Ice2000]

perhaps Cat ,

but I was commenting specifically on this quote

"I simply geek out on learning new things, and if the person I'm with knows more than I do, it makes a relationship far more entertaining for me;"


This specific quote speaks to knowledge usually gained by experience. I'll admit a more intelligent person will gain knowledge more quickly. But you can be extremely intelligence with no knowledge on a subject.

Intelligence is the ability to learn, solve problems , offer solutions to problems more quickly than others that possess less of said ability.

 

[TooDark]

Somehow when I picture top scientist or such I would imagine they are submissive who get off being able to turn their "brains off" in sex.

 

[catalina_francisco]

This specific quote speaks to knowledge usually gained by experience. I'll admit a more intelligent person will gain knowledge more quickly. But you can be extremely intelligence with no knowledge on a subject.

Intelligence is the ability to learn, solve problems , offer solutions to problems more quickly than others that possess less of said ability.

Not sure I'd agree. I have known a few people with high IQ's who find it impossible to learn some things, mostly because they have a mental block or bias, but still doesn't make them quicker learners. Similarly, I don't think intelligence is necessarily about solving problems or offering ways to solve problems, though I would think that is a very western mainstream layman's way of interpreting it. I have known people I consider to be very intelligent who have never been to school, or had very little schooling, and yet they possess more knowledge than many I know witha bag full of degrees....mostly these former people also do not push their ideas and thoughts onto others, instead allowing people to find their own solutions in ways which suit them specifically. They may offer questions or thoughts which might stimulate and guide the process, but for the most part I find those I consider highly intelligent are more likely to be the silent ones who do not make a lot of noise about it, do not draw attention to themselves, or hold that their view is the right or best view. I know a lot of traditionally intelligent people who canot apply what they have learned from books etc., and can recite word for word, who cannot apply that knowledge to a real life situation to save themselves.

Catalina

 

[BiBunny]

I don't require my partners to be more or less intelligent than I am, but I do require we be on a somewhat level playing field.

In the intelligence department, I'm in the above-average level, particularly in reading/writing/grammar/spelling. Any subject that can be "picked up" through reading about it (like history or something), I do pretty well at. Math, business, and science? Blech. I like for my partners to be intelligent, but if you've ever seen two or more English majors in a room together, you'll understand why I prefer that they be intelligent in different ways, too, or else we'll never get past debating grammar rules.

I get messages from people on sites like CollarMe all the time. I'm very, very shallow, I guess you could say, about what I look for in their messages. If it's a long, rambling email full of big words and dripping with pretentiousness, I don't bother answering because chances are, this person thinks he or she is soooooo smart and will discount the fact that I'm a living, breathing human who can think for herself. (Experience has taught me that!) On the other hand, if it's a two-liner with no capitalization or punctuation and filled with text-speak, misspellings, and gross grammatical errors, I'm not going to reply, either, because while such a message may or may not indicate that the person is dumb, it certainly indicates that he/she is lazy. I don't like lazy people any more than I like pretentious people.

As far as my own partners go, Kitty is dyslexic. Reading anything she's written before she goes back and proofreads it makes my eyes cross. However, she can easily do complicated math problems and solve complex equations that make my head spin. Our intelligence is pretty equal, but we're smart in different ways. B., on the other hand, understands things like business, which I can sort of grasp if I study on it long enough, but he picks up the concepts without any effort. We're also on a pretty even keel intelligence-wise, but we're smart in different ways, too.

As an aside, one of the greatest moments in my life was when I was helping B., one of the biggest egomaniacs that I know, move into his new house last summer. We were hanging the shower curtain, and I couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing to attach to the hooks. I made some crack about being too stupid to figure it out, and he said, "I don't want to hear you say anything like that again. You're just as intelligent as I am, if not more so." I couldn't believe that Mr. Arrogant admitted that I was smarter than he! I was gleeful about that one for a long time.

 

[graceanne]

K's not smarter or dumber than me. He's smart in different ways. I can read a full sized novel in three hours - he can do stuff with math that makes me cross eyed. I can remember everyone one in both our families full names and birthdates, he can always remember how to get to a place he's been before. I, quite frankly, have no patience with an SO who's dumber than me.

On the other hand I had a roommate who thought that because he was a man he was smarter. Considering he was drunk from the moment he woke up till he went to sleep (he'd wake up and drink two beers before even getting out of bed) I could think circles around his stupid ass.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[wenchhh]

Don't confuse intelligence with experience Cutie. I think most subs value experience in there Dom. At least so I've been told.

I would have to agree, with most of the above. (how original, eh?) I need a more worldly, experienced, comfortable in his own skin man to dominate me. He also needs to be intelligent, atleast my equal, and if he keeps me struggling to keep up, all the better! There is nothing more stimulating than innuendos that your partner gets, or having him play a word game or head game that it takes a minute to figure out. My Sir keeps a thumb on me by being intellectually superior to me, as well as more worldly and mature. (just thinking about this makes me smile) Bottom line, the more mature I become, the more brains turns me on. whooo eee!
Thanks for the decent topic, Ice.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Is there seriously any Dom's out there that believe they are smarter than there female partner because they are dominant? Or because they are women? Have you subs experienced Doms voicing that that position?

Uhhh, hello *taps the microphone a couple of times...*

Dominants are people. That means they come with people attitudes, positions, desires, needs... Yes, there are people out there that hold the opinion that accidents of birth, like skin color or gender, make one person smarter/better/stronger/worth more than some other person with a different accident of birth. QED, there are "Dominants" that hold those opinions.

Of course there are people that believe the Earth is flat too.

*shrugs*

Please keep in mind that I, however, do NOT grant that everyone who starts their nick with a Capital Letter and claims to be a "Dominant" (or Master, or Mistress) is one in fact and deed. I will treat them as such until they prove to me they are, or are not, in fact worthy of the title. There are LOTS of posers out there. Most of them are clueless wonders and demonstrate that fairly quickly so the damage they can do is fairly limited.

All we can do is educate the ignorant, and pray for mandatory sterilization of the terminally stupid. (Fat chance of THAT happening until I become supreme maximum dicator of the world. Vote for me in 2008!)

 

[graceanne]

Uhhh, hello *taps the microphone a couple of times...*

Dominants are people.

Do you know how hard it is not to make smart ass comments when you say stuff like that?

 

[Evil_Geoff]

It's a mish-mosh of both. Education does not necessarily equal intelligence, but I find myself far more attracted to gentlemen with a Ph.D [at least one], than gentlemen with either no degree at all, or just a BA/MA...

Cutie... if I had a PhD or Masters you would be in sooooo much trouble!

*LOL*

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Do you know how hard it is not to make smart ass comments when you say stuff like that?

Yes!

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[rosco rathbone]

Someone who was obviously so much less intelligent than i that it would be an open and shut case to say "i am the smart one", would bore the shite out of me.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I am a savant when it comes to knowing which thread topics to avoid :chuckles: