I see that a lot of people read the threads but don't respond. I wrote a story and wanted to hear what people thought and it looked like people read the thread but only 3 responed. If you have the time to read the story please respond with info. The story is www.literotica.com/stories/showstoty.phd?id=34034
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- Thread starter sport
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MaxSebastian
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2001
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- 536
Well, firstly the link above has some typos in it which won't get anyone to your story, so here's where people should be going:
www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=34034
Secondly, people look at threads asking for feedback and then decide whether the story is the kind of thing they want to read - if it's not their bag, they're not going to respond. For example, somebody asks for feedback, and if I go into their thread and find out the story is about, I don't know, a squeamish vampire or something, I'm not going to respond to their thread because I'm not into the whole non-human category.
That's the way it works. More people view threads than respond, more people view stories than vote, more people vote than send feedback. The law of diminishing returns, if you like.
As for your story, I found that it didn't really grip my interest from early on to be honest, and that makes it very difficult to provide constructive feedback. You have enthusiasm, surely, if you've posted a story up at all, so I think that is something, and there's some good ideas within the story as far as it went, but I think there's a real need of dialogue and a bit more characterisation.
But this, is only my opinion, of course, so don't be disheartened because it's not my story of choice. There's a lot of places you can pick up tips on how to strengthen the abilities you have, within the Literotica Writers' Resources, or by asking for help from other authors on these forums or through the volunteer editors facility.
best of luck to you,
Max
www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=34034
Secondly, people look at threads asking for feedback and then decide whether the story is the kind of thing they want to read - if it's not their bag, they're not going to respond. For example, somebody asks for feedback, and if I go into their thread and find out the story is about, I don't know, a squeamish vampire or something, I'm not going to respond to their thread because I'm not into the whole non-human category.
That's the way it works. More people view threads than respond, more people view stories than vote, more people vote than send feedback. The law of diminishing returns, if you like.
As for your story, I found that it didn't really grip my interest from early on to be honest, and that makes it very difficult to provide constructive feedback. You have enthusiasm, surely, if you've posted a story up at all, so I think that is something, and there's some good ideas within the story as far as it went, but I think there's a real need of dialogue and a bit more characterisation.
But this, is only my opinion, of course, so don't be disheartened because it's not my story of choice. There's a lot of places you can pick up tips on how to strengthen the abilities you have, within the Literotica Writers' Resources, or by asking for help from other authors on these forums or through the volunteer editors facility.
best of luck to you,
Max
Last edited:
Couture
Ass Expert
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 1,363
What he said.
The story was about Belinda, yet you told it. Kind of hard to do anything good with it from there.
Generally, if you want to write it from the husbands point of view, he should watch. Like his:
I peaked over the dashboard of my car and watched as my wife's head leanded closer to the man in the truck, then dissappeared.
Maybe she's just changing the radio station, I tried to convince myself. However, she stayed down much too long for that. Maybe, I it was't even my wife after all.
However, the door of the truck opened and Belinda got out and walked to the back of the truck. Then she leaned over the tail gate of the pickup and hitched up her skirt invitingly. I couldn't believe it, this wasn't the wife I knew, this was the slut I had been dreaming about for the last eight years of our marriage. She wasn't even wearing panties and her thighs glistened from the moisture running down from her sex.
The young man moved behind her and rubbed her the moons of the slut's ass possesively, before dipping a finger into her sex. "No not a slut," I wanted to scream. "That's my wife he's getting ready to fuck."
Rather than:
Then she started telling me how they meet at a Wal-Mart parking lot and drove to a private area just off the main road and of course she pulled his dick out and gave him some good head as he drove. Belinda told me that they were in his Chevy pickup and that she rode his big dick until he came.
The story was about Belinda, yet you told it. Kind of hard to do anything good with it from there.
Generally, if you want to write it from the husbands point of view, he should watch. Like his:
I peaked over the dashboard of my car and watched as my wife's head leanded closer to the man in the truck, then dissappeared.
Maybe she's just changing the radio station, I tried to convince myself. However, she stayed down much too long for that. Maybe, I it was't even my wife after all.
However, the door of the truck opened and Belinda got out and walked to the back of the truck. Then she leaned over the tail gate of the pickup and hitched up her skirt invitingly. I couldn't believe it, this wasn't the wife I knew, this was the slut I had been dreaming about for the last eight years of our marriage. She wasn't even wearing panties and her thighs glistened from the moisture running down from her sex.
The young man moved behind her and rubbed her the moons of the slut's ass possesively, before dipping a finger into her sex. "No not a slut," I wanted to scream. "That's my wife he's getting ready to fuck."
Rather than:
Then she started telling me how they meet at a Wal-Mart parking lot and drove to a private area just off the main road and of course she pulled his dick out and gave him some good head as he drove. Belinda told me that they were in his Chevy pickup and that she rode his big dick until he came.
