Feedback re: not using "swear" words

[Maquinna]

I've recently posted my first submission and I would welcome any suggestions about how to improve my writing for future posts.

Author: Maquinna
Title: Tiger's Eye
Section: Anal
Link: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=25674

I have made a conscious decision to eliminate, as much as possible, the usual four-letter words found in so much of this kind of writing. The reason for this is that I think there are more creative and less repetitive ways of getting the message across. I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions about this idea and how you think it affects the eroticism, reality, and flow of the story.

Thanks in advance.

Maquinna (catalyst227@hotmail.com)

 

[Mickie]

This one makes me chuckle -- I wrote a novel, an erotica novel, and my dear 65 year old dad wanted to read it. His only comment was that he was still of the Victorian age and the word 'fuck' bothered him.

In a 60,000 word novel, I used that nasty old word only eleven times. I thought I was doing good!

You're right. If all you use to describe the sexual process is slang sex terms, then you're writing porn, not erotica.

Mickie

 

[Rrrosyn]

I hope the word you meant was fuck...

It's really quite good. i enjoyed reading it. It was "fuck" you were avoiding, right?

When I first started writing erotic shorts, I wouldn't use fuck. Still don't do it frequently. Heck, I'd have to check to see if I have used it at all.

The funny thing is I wouldn't use other vulgar terms. Not cock. Not cunt. Nadda.

His member, her treasure. Cheezy huh?

Good story.

 

[Guest]

But surely the point is that, in the context of an erotic story, these words are not really swearing, because they are being used for their precise meaning! If you say "fuck off", then that is swearing, because you are not actually suggesting that the addressee should immediately begin copulating, but using the word to shock.

I think the overuse of any word in a literary context represents failure of imagination, whether that word is a "swear" word of not.

 

[Maquinna]

You're right, this is what I am getting at. I wonder if trying to fully eliminate such language becomes artificial - it can be very normal to use these words. You are also right that it is overuse that I object to. I think many writers could use a decent thesaurus if they don't have the imagination themselves to come up with something more captivating than "oh yeah baby fuck my cunt with your big cock", ad infinitum. *That* certainly doesn't sound natural to me. Maybe I'm just not getting the right cock, but that's not the point of this.

Stay tuned for my next rant - being oblivious to how misspelling goes beyond mere typos and creates whole new meanings (my current favourite is in the story "Discovery My Nasty Wife", where the author says that it was a "mute point" - and there are many other examples in said story). I kind of lose my mojo when my brows are furrowed in confusion and mirth...

 

[Natalie Nessus]

I use swear words where they fit the story? I believe I still write erotica, not porn

 

[Mickie]

The language you use while telling a story should match the kind of characters and writing style the author chooses to use. If you have a rough, big-city type character, and he uses flowery language, then you might have a problem with believability. Or, conversely, if you have an innocent, soft-spoken virgin type character and she immediately says 'fuck me, you animal' I think that's a bit out of character. A good way to look at it is to use slang (cock, cunt, fuck, etc) when the action and characters require it, not in every word about sex. Plus, the narration should have some kind of style to it that dictates if those kinds of words are used.

Case in point -- She spread her legs, showing off the soft flower of her womanhood.
"I'm going to fuck you ragged," he growled, tugging on the zipper of his biker jacket.

The juxtaposition of the two styles might lend to the eroticism of it. Or not. Your choice.

Mickie

 

[Rrrosyn]

womanhood?

I started with a very flowery writing style. I was too virginal to even write cock, cunt or fuck.

Submitted one today reverted back to that. I think eventually, i will find a way to know what style each work should be done based on character, and in my case sometimes, era.

*Just figuring it out.*

 

[Mickie]

All of us are still 'just figuring it out'. Remember, even the best and most published authors are still learning. Writing, just like any art form, is constantly evolving -- but we can still learn a lot from past styles and authors.

Mickie

 

[Maquinna]

I've been advised there may be a problem with the link to the story. Here it is again - if you are still having trouble, please put your hand up.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=25674

The comments have been great. All elements of the story need to be working together - character, dialogue, plot, environment, etc. When there's incongruity, there's a problem.

 

[Marxist]

story of o

I try to write porn, but feel a need to explain the reason x is doing this to y and end up with a goddamned story.

porn comes from the greek for harlot. erotica of course comes from love. i aim for harlot everytime, but my aim ain't what it should be.

the best conservation of language in an erotic story is pauline reage's "story of o". it is an absolute masterpiece in the avoidance of excessive four letter words. read it love it learn it.

i liked your story. gave it a 5 because real effort means a lot in my book.

MARXIST