Feedback please

[RachelPost]

My second story has posted. This is part 2 in my Paradise series. https://literotica.com/s/paradise-02-the-senators-revelation

Please and thank you.

 

[lovecraft68]

There's a forum specifically to request feedback here:

https://forum.literotica.com/forums/story-feedback.1/

 

[Djmac1031]

My second story has posted. This is part 2 in my Paradise series. https://literotica.com/s/paradise-02-the-senators-revelation

Please and thank you.

From a relatively new author, since you asked:

I read both parts. Overall, your writing style works very well. I could nitpick a few punctuation errors and a missing word or two but that happens to all of us.

As a straightforward sex tale, part 1 works well. The characters could have used a little fleshing out though.

I think the mistake you made is one many of us make when we first start: going too fast to get to the sex scenes.

Part 2 was better as far as plot and character development, but again a tad rushed. They fell in love VERY quickly. Then you introduced the drama of outing themselves as a political move only to resolve it minutes later.

But these are things you'll learn in time. I'm still learning myself. And have been guilty of the same things.

My best advice is simply to keep going, keep writing, and try and give your story, and your characters, some room to breathe and grow before rushing them back to bed.

But overall great efforts. Looking forward to reading more from you.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I have to agree with everything Djmac said, pro and con.

Especially for your first time on the bicycle, they’re pretty good. The time to be concerned is if, two years from now, you look back and find your style hasn’t progressed or improved.

Go beat that keyboard!