Feedback on short incest story

[LaRascasse]

Hi there,

I submitted this story a short while back and would appreciate someone telling me how it went. This story used a different style from my usual, written in a more abstract, emotionally charged way. Also it should be noted I was not entirely sober, so my fingers had a mind of their own

Anyway, this is the link. I look forward to any feedback here - good, bad or otherwise. Feel free to pick it apart should it be worth it.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

First off, let me say that the story is very well written. The piece is a bit ambitious, even artistic, something that is in short supply around here, especially in the incest genre. There's a heavy dose of melancholy in there--with a few parts bordering on the melodramatic--but, overall, I think story evokes some real emotion without straying too far into runny mascara territory.

It wasn't what I expected of an erotic story--and it bears both the positive and negative ramifications of that. At no point was I excited or aroused, and I general hope for that when reading stories in this section. Nor did your tale give me the little thrill of the forbidden that the taboo category routinely provides. Instead, it was sweet and, in places, quite beautiful. That is to be commended. Beautiful writing should be a prized commodity regardless of where it is found, and defying expectations is a big part of writing something truly fascinating.

I enjoyed the piece. It was a nice change of pace. Thank you for injecting an elegant strain of blue into a reading session that was mostly filled with the bland burn of simple red lust.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

La Rascasse, I also thought it was well-written and a highly emotional first person narrative. I enjoyed it, but. . .

This, I think would have had a better home in Romance rather than Incest. Think of the audiences.

If he'd been Vicky's stepbrother, you could have gone for Romance and the dysfunctional step-parents would still work. Just wish you'd kept to the first person story and not addressed the readers.

To my mind, you slipped up by writing, "Don't worry, it never came close to my first love." Lose the red, highlighted words.

Have I missed something? You write 'till date', which I would write as 'until today'.

In summary, I found it a super, emotional story which is written very well but could have done better if you'd thought about the expectations of an incest readers.