Feedback on "Nutmeg For Mom"

[neurro]

Hello all, this is my first story I've done for Literotica. In fact, it's my first sex story ever. I normally stick to the fantasy genre and short stories of that nature, or my poetry. Please, I'm looking for constructive criticism to determine if I'm going to continue writing sex stories.

Author: Neurro
Category: Incest
Title: Nutmeg For Mom
Link: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=53053

 

[Axeltheswede]

Feedback

Not bad for a first effort in the genre. What you have written is a fairly standard, totally predictable mother/son incest story.

When I got to the part about his nine inch cock, I almost back clicked out. From that point, I could predict everything two paragraphs ahead. Mom is going to have her some of dat, yadda, yadda, yadda.

You have the writing ability to stretch the genre, or at least put your own perceptions into a story. Derivative is probably not the direction you want to take.

One other note; I stopped counting at six uses of the word "various". A little attention to proofreading should catch little annoyances like that.

Keep writing and keep reading. You will develop an ear for the trite and overdone in the genre.