Feedback on mom & son + friends

[JayPierce95]

I have a bunch of stories on Lush and just transferred a bunch over to here, but they are pending. When I was doing that I saw a post I made a while ago on here about finding a story where a mom gets involved a son and his friends on a lacrosse tournament trip.

I did something I never did before, which is write (what I hope is) a better version of something somebody else wrote. I'd love some feedback on my story and will send it to you if interested.

 

[lovecraft68]

You should remove that link as it leads to another site. If not, the mod will.

Best bet is to wait until your stuff here posts, then put those links in this thread and give it a bump.

Good luck with them here.

 

[AwkwardMD]

When one posts, throw a link to it in here. Posting typically takes 48-72 hours, and as much as a week when there's a lot of pending submissions.

 

[JayPierce95]

Ok, thanks for the heads up. I can PM someone the link to the other person's story that I based it on. A lot of people thought it was hot.