Feedback? First explicit erotica. "Bedroom. Now."

[HarlotsWeb]

Hello! I just joined and have written my first explicit erotica story called "Bedroom. Now." I'd love some feedback from readers and writers! <3 I want to venture out into writing erotica more, and I want to see which direction(s) I should work myself toward.

https://literotica.com/s/bedroom-now

 

[SeraphNocturne]

I’ve left my thoughts as a comment, but I feel I still need to gush here. You’ve got amazing flow, descriptive prowess and above all, immaculate presence. You had me at the first line. You’re a damn good writer.

Welcome, welcome!

 

[eomerson]

Very good!!!!

 

[HarlotsWeb]

Thank you both so much! <3

 

[Rob_Royale]

I enjoyed that very much. You are a fine writer, so the only direction to work towards is to continue expressing yourself. Looking forward to more.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Very cool how vivid that felt despite there being almost no physical description. But you told us how she felt, and that was all that mattered. I'll have to try that technique in my own stories.

 

[RoperTrace]

I've left comments on two of your stories. I enjoyed both of them. RT

 

[annabellebrito]

Read it and left a review. Only suggestion would be to have to hinted at what the couple does for a living. Middle class, young couple, older couple? The way the male used the female's mouth was very hot. Great way to close the story. Also appreciate the little to no vulgar words.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

So I read the story and posted a comment. I just now realized that you were asking for feedback in the forums.

Very good. 5 stars. I really liked the tension between the characters. Very hot and steamy