Fear and Arousal

[DrHappy]

Has anyone here experienced fear-induced arousal? When I say “fear”, I am referring to anything which may cause an adrenaline rush. This could be any form of fear, excitement, anxiety, stress, humiliation, or possibly pain. This could be induced by a fantasizing about an act or by actually carrying out an act that is near or beyond one’s comfort zone.

My theory is that adrenaline (or a related physiological response) may trigger arousal by triggering the release of brain chemicals associated with arousal, such as oxytocin or PEA. Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle” hormone and is normally released during arousal and especially at orgasm. PEA is sometimes referred to as the “love” chemical and is related to amphetamine.

I have heard about “adrenaline junkies” who are repeatedly doing things like ski diving or BASE jumping in order to keep getting an adrenaline fix. I read an account of a woman who recently discovered that she gets incredibly aroused from smoking. There are a few factors which make her story more interesting: she is normally a non-smoker, her family experienced a smoking related death in her childhood, and her sex drive is normally very low. I’m wondering whether a fear-adrenaline reaction may be responsible.

I have read various books which try to explain various sexual behaviors with a complex psychological explanation. Exhibitionism, BDSM, role playing, etc… can all supposedly be explained by fulfilling a psychological need. However, I’ve thought that an adrenaline-induced arousal trigger may be a simpler explanation for many behaviors. For example, the thrill of exhibitionism might trigger adrenaline and thus arousal for some people. A strong feminist woman may be aroused by fantasies of being belittled and raped. The adrenaline explanation seems simpler. I’ve noticed that the fantasies and sexual behavior that push my comfort levels are the ones that tend arouse me the most.

Do your most arousing fantasies or practices tend to have an element of fear? Are you willing to share them? Feel free to confirm or to ask critical questions.

 

[Eilan]

Interesting, thought-provoking topic.

I think that, for me, one of the things closest to what you're describing would have to be what I call "breath play lite." IOW, all my husband has to do is put his hands on my neck (with little to no pressure) or over my nose and mouth (again, with little to no pressure). I'm always able to breathe, but the fact that his hands are there to potentially cut off my oxygen supply is incredibly arousing.

 

[DrHappy]

Eilian, that certainly seems to fit the description. Thanks for your input.

Thinking back, there are certain favorite scary and exciting experiences of mine with my wife (sex in a park, getting a blowjob outdoors, sex in the ocean on our honeymoon, bondage) that make me feel very cuddly when I think about them. I get aroused, but I also get a rush of feeling very in love with her. They were very scary at the time, though the "love" feelings may now actually be stronger than the sexual arousal when I think about the events. I guess that they aren't as scary to think about in the past.... I know how it turns out. We didn't get caught, so I guess that they don't seem scary to think about anymore (no more adrenaline rush). These love feelings are consistent with what are supposed to be the effects of oxytocin.

Trivia: In the Prairie Vole, oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner.

 

[M's girl]

For me real fear would not work, but I'm with Eilan. After all, I think a lot of women who are very vanilla otherwise would not mind a little hair pulling or a few slaps on the ass. I also like to be pinned down but see this more as an act of passion.

I think you are right in that adrenaline is stimulating, but this can also be a rush not induced by fear, but by joy. Whenever something is going very well in my life or I have accomplished something and am very pleased with myself I can get this rush and it can actually stimulate my sexual feelings.

I think if you ask this same question in the BDSM forum you might get a big and almost anonymous "Yes".....

 

[helix27]

yea.. i am thinking there is a fine line between something that is a act of passion and something that would induce true fear. although the whole being forced into a sexual situation that you dont have control over can be very erotic, and fearfull. umm ever play around with a friend of the opposite sex when you were a kid? of course you did. well a lot of those play stories go along the lines of say being trapped in the control of someone else. reason you allow this as a child is that you and your play mate are exploring these new physical feelings you have. so, if you are "trapped" in this other persons control you have no control over what happens to you right? well that feeling can be erotic. its a fear of the unknown. but in this situation its a safe fear because your are with someone you know/trust. as a child these are very basic and primal feelings or triggers. i really don't see this as anything surprising or new. you can look all over this forum and find stories of or people wanting to explore the area of fear or putting them self out there for their S.O. to do with them as they please. not all who enjoy this are doing so because of the fear part but i bet a lot are. at least partly.


ok that was all just a quick response to the question and ramble at that i really hope someone understands it. if not disregard

 

[DrHappy]

Thanks for everyone's input!

For me real fear would not work

i am thinking there is a fine line between something that is a act of passion and something that would induce true fear.

I definitely agree with both of you. I would not be pleasurably aroused if the brakes failed on my car while traveling downhill.

Yes, I'll admit that the word "fear" may not be the best word. I'll welcome any suggestions, adjustments, or corrections to my working hypothesis. I don't think it's helpful to say that "excitement" induces arousal, because excitement is too close to being arousal. It's almost like saying arousal causes arousal.

Maybe a key element is that this can occur when the logical part of the brain conflicts with an emotional part of the brain. A women may be turned on when her trusted lover playfully, though aggressively forces himself upon her. She logically knows that she safe and allows him to proceed, though her emotions may also trigger a response of fear which induces excitement. A real rapist would not be arousing. A person might enjoy bondage with a trusted lover, though a person unfamiliar with bondage would likely not enjoy being tied up during their first sexual encounter with a new lover.

I still remember the adrenaline rush which started before removing my clothes at a secluded beach on my honeymoon. We went skinny dipping and eventually had sex in the water. Nudity was officially illegal where we were, but this was a very secluded location in the off-peak season. I remember looking all around for any onlookers and feeling very naughty. My emotions were telling me that I absolutely should not be doing this. Logically, I knew that the maximum consequences would be either embarrassment (and laughter) or a possible fine if a nosy island policeman had hiked over a mile to this very secluded beach. My logical risk analysis told me to go for it. My emotions were screaming otherwise. After skinny dipping a short time, we began kissing and we both were able to achieve orgasm with a short amount of time. The sex wasn't planned and just happened. It was a quickie, but that experience was unforgettable.

Again, this is a working hypothesis and I'll welcome any suggestions. I haven't been satisfied with the books that I've read that offer purely psychological explanations for these wonderful and sometimes troubling experiences. I enjoy thinking about these things and trying to figure them out.

ok that was all just a quick response to the question and ramble at that i really hope someone understands it.

I understand. Thanks for your input!

 

[FurryFury]

Certain types of fear or anticipation can be very erotic in my opinion.

An underlying steadfast trust in your partner are what make it on a hot level rather than, too afraid to be aroused level.

 

[Guest]

adrenaline

My theory is that adrenaline (or a related physiological response) may trigger arousal by triggering the release of brain chemicals associated with arousal, such as oxytocin or PEA. Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle” hormone and is normally released during arousal and especially at orgasm. PEA is sometimes referred to as the “love” chemical and is related to amphetamine.

Adrenaline and oxytocin are agonists. One does not work where the other is present. Adrenaline is the fight-or-flight hormone, preparing your body to react to danger. Oxytocin is the love hormone, and also the contraction hormone (as in orgasmic or birth contractions).

This is a much discussed topic in the gentle birth movement, since oxytocin is needed to get a woman birthing along. When adrenaline is present, such as when a woman is afraid, oxytocin is neutralized. This effectively stops the birth (or cuddle), and allowing her to flee the attacking tiger - or fight it.


Maharat

 

[Demon_in_love]

I totally agree. Maybe it's just that I'm an adrenaline Junkie though... But the idea of bondage turns me on, and so does being pinned down. When my boyfriend puts me in a submissive position, or messes with my neck, or pulls a knife... It's an incredible turn on, and I think it's because the potential to be hurt is there, which is adrenaline. And then you have to trust the other person, which I think makes you closer mentally and physically.

 

[pplwatching]

I can't remember where I read this, but research has been done on this with respect to couples. If I recall correctly, couples who watch thrillers (scary movies) together are apparently enjoying stronger sexual attraction to each other.

I've been googling but I can't find the right keywords to lead me to whatever I read. I'll keep trying.

 

[pplwatching]

I can't find what I am looking for, but this paper is interesting and the References section has some interesting titles.

Love at First Fright: Partner Salience Moderates
Roller-Coaster-Induced Excitation Transfer
http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/group/MestonLAB/Publications/rollercoaster.pdf