Favourite Python lines.
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cheerful_deviant
Head of the Flock
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"But she's got HUUUUGE... tracts of land!"
playwithlezli
play naughty or nice?
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"Dinsdale, Dinsdale"
Spiny Norman the hedgehog, looking for Dinsdale (a human).
Spiny Norman the hedgehog, looking for Dinsdale (a human).
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
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"Are you a virgin? Or am I being too personal?"
"How much more personal can you get???"
Life of Brian
"How much more personal can you get???"
Life of Brian
playwithlezli
play naughty or nice?
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Killer Rabbit
.....oh it's nothing but a bunny.
Ahhhh arrghhhhh
run away, run away....
.....oh it's nothing but a bunny.
Ahhhh arrghhhhh
run away, run away....
Lucifer_Carroll
GOATS!!!
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And here are the results of the Epilogue. God exists by two falls to a submission.
Perhaps both. Maybe neither. What do i mean by the word mean, what do I mean by the word word? What do I do by mean? What do I do by do by do and what do I mean by wasting your time like this? Goodnight.
Yes, that's the exact pitch.
Today you will learn how to defend yourself against raspberries.
What about pointed sticks?
Shut up.
Sorry for any inaccurate paraphrasing.
Perhaps both. Maybe neither. What do i mean by the word mean, what do I mean by the word word? What do I do by mean? What do I do by do by do and what do I mean by wasting your time like this? Goodnight.
Yes, that's the exact pitch.
Today you will learn how to defend yourself against raspberries.
What about pointed sticks?
Shut up.
Sorry for any inaccurate paraphrasing.
playwithlezli
play naughty or nice?
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Monty Python returns to PBS
http://entertainment.sympatico.msn....r=5&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc
I hope this link works
and now I am off to see my gel
nudge nudge wink wink ya know what I mean eh, know what I mean....
http://entertainment.sympatico.msn....r=5&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc
I hope this link works
and now I am off to see my gel
nudge nudge wink wink ya know what I mean eh, know what I mean....
ozbloke1980
Literotica Guru
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Sir Galahad: Bet your gay
G
Guest
Guest
I don't think is actually the way it goes, but if you're a practicing witch, your friends will get creative....
"She's a witch!"
"How do you know she's a witch?"
"She turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?" ^.^
"Well... I got better."
That would be the normal routine when I pull out the voodoo...
-.- I love my brother... I swear I do.
"She's a witch!"
"How do you know she's a witch?"
"She turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?" ^.^
"Well... I got better."
That would be the normal routine when I pull out the voodoo...
-.- I love my brother... I swear I do.
Vincent E
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"Mount Everest - forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world."
Ding
"Start again."
"Mount Everest - forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The highest place on Earth. No, I'm sorry we don't go there."
"Good morning, I'm Bounder of Adventure."
"Good morning, my name is Smoketoomuch."
"What?"
"My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch."
"Well, you'd better cut down a bit then."
"What?"
"Well, you'd better cut down a bit"
"Oh I see. Cut down a bit for Smoketoomuch."
"I bet you get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh."
"No, no. Actually it never struck me before. Smoke-too-much."
Ding
"Start again."
"Mount Everest - forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The highest place on Earth. No, I'm sorry we don't go there."
"Good morning, I'm Bounder of Adventure."
"Good morning, my name is Smoketoomuch."
"What?"
"My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch."
"Well, you'd better cut down a bit then."
"What?"
"Well, you'd better cut down a bit"
"Oh I see. Cut down a bit for Smoketoomuch."
"I bet you get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh."
"No, no. Actually it never struck me before. Smoke-too-much."
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Vincent E
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Bump.
"This is a cheese shop, isn't it?"
"Yes sir. Finest in the district."
"And what leads you to that conclusion?"
"It's so clean."
"Well it certainly is uncontaminated by any cheese."
"Oh, Mrs. Niggerbaiter's exploded."
"Good thing too."
"She was my best friend."
"Oh mother, don't be so sentimental. Things explode every day."
"John Comfy is the musical and artistic director of Covent Garden. He is himself a talented musician. He is a world famous authority on nineteenth century Russian music, and he is coming to the studio tonight to talk about Tchaikovsky, which is a bit of a pity as this is Farming Club."
"This is a cheese shop, isn't it?"
"Yes sir. Finest in the district."
"And what leads you to that conclusion?"
"It's so clean."
"Well it certainly is uncontaminated by any cheese."
"Oh, Mrs. Niggerbaiter's exploded."
"Good thing too."
"She was my best friend."
"Oh mother, don't be so sentimental. Things explode every day."
"John Comfy is the musical and artistic director of Covent Garden. He is himself a talented musician. He is a world famous authority on nineteenth century Russian music, and he is coming to the studio tonight to talk about Tchaikovsky, which is a bit of a pity as this is Farming Club."
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Bicycle Repair Man
One of my favorites. If I remember correctly, it starts on a bus and everyone sitting there is wearing a superman outfit.
A man on the road falls off a bicycle and it begins.
Voiceover: This man is no ordinary man. This is Mr. H G Superman. To all appearances, he looks like any other law-abiding citizen. But Mr F G Superman has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!
Superboy: Hey, there's a bicycle broken, up the road.
Superman One: If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!
Superboy: Yes, wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!
Caption: FLASH!
All Supermen: Bicycle Repair Man, but how?
Superman One: Oh look... is it a stockbroker?
Superman Two: Is it a quantity Surveyor?
Superman Three: Is it a church warden?
All Supermen: NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!
Superman: MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've come! Look!
Caption: Clink! Screw! Bend! Inflate! Alter Saddle!
Superman Two: Why, he's mending it with his own hands!
Superman One: See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!
Superman: Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?
Bicycle Repair Man: Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!
All Supermen: Our Hero!
Voiceover: Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!
One of my favorites. If I remember correctly, it starts on a bus and everyone sitting there is wearing a superman outfit.
A man on the road falls off a bicycle and it begins.
Voiceover: This man is no ordinary man. This is Mr. H G Superman. To all appearances, he looks like any other law-abiding citizen. But Mr F G Superman has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!
Superboy: Hey, there's a bicycle broken, up the road.
Superman One: If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!
Superboy: Yes, wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!
Caption: FLASH!
All Supermen: Bicycle Repair Man, but how?
Superman One: Oh look... is it a stockbroker?
Superman Two: Is it a quantity Surveyor?
Superman Three: Is it a church warden?
All Supermen: NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!
Superman: MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've come! Look!
Caption: Clink! Screw! Bend! Inflate! Alter Saddle!
Superman Two: Why, he's mending it with his own hands!
Superman One: See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!
Superman: Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?
Bicycle Repair Man: Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!
All Supermen: Our Hero!
Voiceover: Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!
Vincent E
Literotica Guru
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The BBC would like to apologize to everyone in the world for that last item. It was disgusting and bad and thoroughly disobedient, and please don't bother to phone up because we know it was very tasteless, but they do all come from broken homes and have very unhappy personal lives, especially Eric. Anyway, they're really very nice people underneath and very warm in the traditional show business way and please don't write in either because the BBC is going through an unhappy phase at the moment - what with its father dying and the mortgage and BBC 2 going out with men.
The BBC would like to deny the last apology. It is very happy at home and BBC 2 is bound to go through this phase, so from all of us here good night, sleep well, and have an absolutely super day tomorrow. Kiss, kiss.
"Good morning. I'd like some aftershave, please."
"Certainly, Sir. Walk this way, please."
"If I could walk that way I wouldn't need aftershave."
The BBC would like to deny the last apology. It is very happy at home and BBC 2 is bound to go through this phase, so from all of us here good night, sleep well, and have an absolutely super day tomorrow. Kiss, kiss.
"Good morning. I'd like some aftershave, please."
"Certainly, Sir. Walk this way, please."
"If I could walk that way I wouldn't need aftershave."
Huckleman2000
It was something I ate.
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Pure said:
hehe, what follows always cracks me up:
"Spank me!" "Spank me!"
"And then we have the oral sex."
But my favorite, just because I'm bald, is when the French castle guard taunts Arthur and the Knights by slapping himself on the helmet during this exchange:
GALAHAD:
What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD:
Mind your own business!
ARTHUR:
If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD:
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD:
What a strange person.
ARTHUR:
Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD:
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD:
Is there someone else up there we could talk to? [this is about where I lose it]
FRENCH GUARD:
No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
playwithlezli
play naughty or nice?
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Queuing, the English Holiday
tourists, bloody tourists, standing around, squeezing their blackheads
tourists, bloody tourists, standing around, squeezing their blackheads
rgraham666
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*bump*
Because we're starting again on another thread.
Because we're starting again on another thread.
Darkniciad
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He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
Ni!
Too much time on my hands and testing a new microphone =P
Ni!
Too much time on my hands and testing a new microphone =P
Noor
Citizen of the World
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Uhh, you do realise, uh, he has to be, uh,... well, dead,... by the terms of the card, uh, before he donates his liver.
REG:
Uh, Brian, can I introduce the gentleman who's letting us have the Mounts on Sunday?
MR. PAPADOPOULOS:
Hello.
FRANCIS:
Don't push!
REG:
And keep the noise down, please! Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit, can't you? Incurables, you'll just have to wait for a few minutes. Um, women taken in sin, line up against that wall, will you?
REG:
Uh, Brian, can I introduce the gentleman who's letting us have the Mounts on Sunday?
MR. PAPADOPOULOS:
Hello.
FRANCIS:
Don't push!
REG:
And keep the noise down, please! Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit, can't you? Incurables, you'll just have to wait for a few minutes. Um, women taken in sin, line up against that wall, will you?
