>> Fan Mail <<

[MathGirl]

I can't help myself. I just have to share this piece of fan mail:

This message contains feedback for: MathGirl
Comments:
when i read your article.i get so horny.and my cock gets hard.
i just want to ask.can u send me some erotic stories directly to my email.
i love stories about wifes changed into sluts.....
and stories about woman with animal's......and stories about wifes expose herself to public.......
really appreaciate it if u can write some short stories for me to see.
thanks.....and u'r one great writer.and do u mind telling me how big your tit's are?
*DO NOT hit the REPLY button to respond to this email.*
=====================
Good Grief! The guy sure knows what he wants and isn't afraid to ask for it. Makes me want to sit right down and spend a few days writing stories for him. I petted my cat a while ago, maybe I could tell him about that.

Anyone have a tape measure I could borrow? Oh, you do it. I'll just raise my arms and ...............

Does anyone else out there get "fan mail" like this? Do you save it? Would you share it? I can't be the only one!

Diane, Attractive to the more discerning readers

 

[KillerMuffin]

I used to. Then I put "I'm happily married and I don't do phone sex, cyber sex, email sex, write stories personally for anyone, share pics, or anything the StudMuffin would obect to", or something like that, in my bio.

Cut down on that crap.

 

[MathGirl]

I used to. Then I put "I'm happily married and I don't do phone sex, cyber sex, email sex, write stories personally for anyone, share pics, or anything the StudMuffin would obect to", or something like that, in my bio.
Cut down on that crap.

I love the comments from my loyal readers. It's a major source of entertainment. Huh. I guess that means I'm pretty hard up for entertainment.

 

[SexyChele]

That is funny, MathGirl! And, yes, I've been asked to do personal stories - like I've really got that sort of time! Normally, I've found that if I respond with something like, "I'll be happy to write an erotic story just for you. My going rate is $10 per page, 3 page minimum. Paypal required for payment exchange." Usually ends it right there.

Interestingly, I just received the most bizarre feedback I've ever seen in response to the article I posted called "How To Succeed at Online Dating." Now, if this is truly another language, and some one recognizes it as such, please let me know. I'd hate to think I was poking fun at some one who was really trying to tell me something!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This message contains feedback for: SexyChele
About the submission: How To Be Successful At Online Dating
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

tor article pore ami just eimatro bolte chai je ja ja tui likhechish ekdom thik
likhechish. ei bocchor amar biye aar jaake ami biye korchi take ami internet
through chini. i can relate to every word. asha kori bhalo achish aar may u find
the correct person if u havne't already...bidai ...(hoyto bhabchish ki kore jani
tui bangali...nijer id dekh)

*DO NOT hit the REPLY button to respond to this email.*

 

[MathGirl]

Hey, Svenska

SC-
That's a good one. Thanks for sharing. Some English, some ???? I think Svenska needs to look at that one. She's our resident linguist.
MG

Ps. Svenska may even be a cunning linguist

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I have to confess: I'm beat!

I can only make out a few words... Some seems like Russian, some like Arabic, and the rest Flemish... All languages that I only know a few words of. Sorry...

 

[SexyChele]

Re: I have to confess: I'm beat!

I can only make out a few words... Some seems like Russian, some like Arabic, and the rest Flemish... All languages that I only know a few words of. Sorry...

Well, I hope between the seeming Russian, Arabic, and Flemish s/he is saying good things! Oh well, thanks for giving it a shot! I'll just chalk it up to the most confusing feedback I've ever received!

 

[MathGirl]

Poser

While we're on the subject, let me introduce a little something. Can anyone tell what language it's in and what it says?

Seville, dair dago
Tousan busses inuro
Nojo, demstruxx
Summit cousan
Summit duxx

Answer later, if nobody gets it.

MG

 

[NorthwestRain]

I'm also curious as to the origings of this,
'tappa inte sugen'.
I thought maybe Svenska might know.
Cheers...NWR
(Can't help with the others, sorry)

 

[Octavian]

translations 'r' us

originally posted by MathGirl

While we're on the subject, let me introduce a little something. Can anyone tell what language it's in and what it says?

Seville, dair dago
Tousan busses inuro
Nojo, demstruxx
Summit cousan
Summit duxx

I would guess the language is ancient Etruscan, as opposed to modern Etruscan and I would accordingly translate it thus:

In Seville there is this Spanish gentleman
Who owns a thousand coaches.
You are wrong, Joe, one of the coaches has hit something.
It has hit either my cousin or some ducks.

Octavian

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm also curious as to the origings of this,
'tappa inte sugen'.
I thought maybe Svenska might know.
Cheers...NWR
(Can't help with the others, sorry)

Tappa inte sugen= don't give up.




(Literally: "don't drop the suck". Swedish IS a fun language...)

 

[MathGirl]

Re: translations 'r' us

I would guess the language is ancient Etruscan, as opposed to modern Etruscan and I would accordingly translate it thus:

In Seville there is this Spanish gentleman
Who owns a thousand coaches.
You are wrong, Joe, one of the coaches has hit something.
It has hit either my cousin or some ducks.
Octavian

Good Grief, O! That's remarkably close. Did it hurt holding your tongue in your cheek like that? Here's the "translation"

Say, Willie, there they go,
Thousand buses in a row,
No, Joe, them's trucks,
Some with cows and,
Some with ducks

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Pidgin English, MG?

 

[Dirt Man]

Every now and then I do....

Does anyone else out there get "fan mail" like this? Do you save it? Would you share it? I can't be the only one!

Diane, Attractive to the more discerning readers

1.) Yes, I often get "fan mail," like this. Several have led to online friendships that my wife is well aware of. Some that she isn't. LOL

2.) No, I don't save them as that would be a matter of distrust.

3.) No, for the same reason as above. I'm not the only one who uses this computer, and hackers have been known to steal e-mails for their own insidious uses.

4.) You may save your fan mail, but I don't suggest keeping it as proper e-mail, but keep it in a proccessor file perhaps.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[Master_Vassago]

I have to share this because it was too funny. I know it's negative but I found it hilarious I am hoping you all do as well.

This message contains feedback for: Master_Vassago
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

You are a sick fucker writing about the Olsen Twins. They are 16 year old children for crying out loud!!! And, maybe you should check Lit's "story ideas" board. Increasing a minor celeb's age for Lit's 18 rule isn't allowed here.

Your story has been reported to Laurel.


____________________________________________________ Now that having been shown I had to laugh the twins are almost 17 now if not already and I never thought to look up the changing a minor celeb's age in rules. I did it as a future story in no way intending for it to be about them now as underage participants. Some people need to get a life and not go overboard. Any thoughts or comments I would be interested in hearing.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Every now and then I do....

4.) You may save your fan mail, but I don't suggest keeping it as proper e-mail, but keep it in a proccessor file perhaps.

Don't worry, DMan. I keep only the funny ones, I keep them in a file on my own personal computer, and I delete the names if I share them publically.

Diane the Ethical

 

[OT]

Re: Every now and then I do....

2.) No, I don't save them as that would be a matter of distrust.

Distrust? I've never heard of any email etiquette rules that implies the recipient is under any obligation to destroy received mail. Once sent, it is the property of the recipient.

Not sharing it with others falls under the same rules as water cooler gossip. Common sense usually dictates what is "confidential" and what can be freely repeated. When in doubt, assume it's confidential.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

Okay, this one's a keeper. The funny thing is, I can't escape the impression that the person speaks English with a thick Transylvanian accent. I swear this is true, word for word. I saved it in case the FBI ever asks... and I'm cutting and pasting it below:


wow dat was an incredible story. wanna meet? i want u to give me the best head ive ever gotten. send me a pic too. but if u do send me a pic, send it lata. i wanan fuck u so hard, and hear u moan. ur story made me cum 15 times withought jackin off. reply back please. reply to the email given (u wont regret it)


Is it possible the email was tainted with some bizarre new virus,,?

But for sheer peel-off-your-eyelids insanity, nothing beats this one:


I don't know why I burned your center piece and I don't know why I'll do it again.


I'm pretty sure that last one was intentionally freakish, though, so it didn't bother me.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

I can't help myself. I just have to share this piece of fan mail:

This message contains feedback for: MathGirl
Comments:
when i read your article.i get so horny.and my cock gets hard.
i just want to ask.can u send me some erotic stories directly to my email.
i love stories about wifes changed into sluts.....
and stories about woman with animal's......and stories about wifes expose herself to public.......
really appreaciate it if u can write some short stories for me to see.
thanks.....and u'r one great writer.and do u mind telling me how big your tit's are?

Hey... I just had the thought that this could be the same person who wrote the message I quoted above. He has the same accent, anyway.

 

[MathGirl]

wow dat was an incredible story. wanna meet? i want u to give me the best head ive ever gotten. send me a pic too. but if u do send me a pic, send it lata. i wanan fuck u so hard, and hear u moan. ur story made me cum 15 times withought jackin off. reply back please. reply to the email given (u wont regret it)

Dear Sarah,
I believe we have a reader and fan in common. I recognize the suave literacy and understated demeanor. Congratulations.
MG

 

[Guest]

ROFLMAO

Too bad this is fom Anonymous regarding my latest story Wife of the Year.

Wife of the year, hell, wife of the century.

I am still laughing and clutching my belly.

<I know it isn't sick.....>

b

 

[MathGirl]

Re: ROFLMAO

[
BKeeney,
You're not supposed to be ROFLMAOing. Remembe your stitches, dear.
MG

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: ROFLMAO

[
BKeeney,
You're not supposed to be ROFLMAOing. Remembe your stitches, dear.
MG

Tell me about it! I am reaching for more Advil even as I type this.

Thanks for the gentle reminder.

b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

About 2 years ago, I was at an Aikido training camp, and during training, this girl I was training with at one time, threw me over her own back, and I landed with full force on the floor, banging my caudal vertebra really hard. I was limping for 3 weeks after that.

I'm beginning to think that this is going to last as long...

*limping out into the kitchen to get some more pain-killers*

 

[MathGirl]

Disabled list

Good grief! I never knew that writing pornography could be so dangerous.

Anyone else out there on the disabled list?

MG