Faked orgasms

[carsonshepherd]

Shanglan (who has been reading too much Dorian Gray)

I'd say a bit, yes!

 

[carsonshepherd]

There's a difference between not knowing and not psychologically caring. I don't mean to insult anyone with that statement, but it's true!

It reminds me of my favorite demotivational poster at www.despair.com "Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up." --and that picture is right below a package of French Fries

Hey, that's a funny site. I love it. I like "Persistence" ...it's over, man. Let her go.

 

[Daisy May]

Re: Re: Re: Faked orgasms

Don't fake it. Reach down there and take care of business!

Yeah, ram his damn head in, LOL! He isn't the kinky type. I'm actually getting bored in this 5 year relationship. It may be time to say goodbye soon. After Christmas is probably the best.

 

[LorriLove]

ooo!! Ahhh!! yes, yes!!! go on, yes!!!........ go on yes.... ram it in, go on.... oh god i'm near.... oh yes!!! go on fuck me like a whore... go on... yes hurt me, hurt me, harder, harder, hurt me!!!........ ahhhhh!!! yesssss!!!.... yessss!!! fuck yes!!!!!!!!! oh god i'm cummingggggg!!!! oh god yes!!!...... fuck my guts out!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


see i never faked it

 

[logophile]

ooo!! Ahhh!! yes, yes!!! go on, yes!!!........ go on yes.... ram it in, go on.... oh god i'm near.... oh yes!!! go on fuck me like a whore... go on... yes hurt me, hurt me, harder, harder, hurt me!!!........ ahhhhh!!! yesssss!!!.... yessss!!! fuck yes!!!!!!!!! oh god i'm cummingggggg!!!! oh god yes!!!...... fuck my guts out!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


see i never faked it

You have just captured from me the title of

She Who Has Honed Her Craft

which was awarded to me last night after my post about how to get your chest to flush without having an orgasm. Congrats!

 

[Sappholovers]

Yes, I faked a woman's orgasm..or tried to imitate a real one.

We all know the "faked orgasm" scene in "When Harry Meets Sally."

Well, with that scene in mind--and after drinking some champagne--and in a playful mood with a new lover, when we were doing a little switching around about who was dominant and who was submissive, and when it was my time to be submissive, I ended up moaning and panting some...scaling up the octaves of orgasm...in a womanly way, and since this got an amused response from my lover, I continued until I did my best (e.g., quivering, tremoring, holding my breath, turning red) to imitate a powerful woman's orgasm. I think I even included the toe curling. It was quite fun to try...and it put my lover very much in the mood to do it for real. She also threatened to dress me in her lingerie and take me with a strap-on if I faked it again.

 

[The_Darkness]

Ooooh, lots of stuff.

Bruises can be fun, as long as she's laughing at it and is more or less okay.

Joe, if you keep your balls where they're supposed to be and don't snap your cock, I think I'd show up to your next bash. I've never played rugby, but I like to hit people a lot and I'm a pretty good sized guy, so either way, it'll be fun for me.

Scratches.....I'll never forget my first batch of gouges. I didn't even know she had given them to me until we both started coming down. That hurt like hell, there was skin gored down to muscle in 2 sets of 4 lines criss crossing my back. You should have seen the look on my roommate's face when I got back to college that night and took my shirt off before jumping into bed. Holy shit. I wish I had had a camera.

Shan....not into whipping so much, but Dorian Gray is on my list of stuff to read, matter of fact it's 12th in the stack right now....right behind Irish folk tales, a religion book, the Aneid, Cujo, Card's Shadow Puppets, a couple of books on weapons, a little Polybius, The book of Mormon (I like a little comedy here and there), and finally Milton.

Oh shit, I have library books that have been due for a month. Crap.

 

[shereads]

First you hold your breath several times for about 8 to 12 seconds at a time. After you've done that (maybe 3 to 7 times in less than 3 minutes), you bear down as you're holding your breath or moaning. Repeat this 2 or 3 times and you should have a nice mottled pattern across your chest and up your neck. You can even get "freshly fucked face" this way if you bear down enough times.

Wow. Did you learn that in medical school?



This deserves to replace pilates as the new fitness craze. I'm exhausted just from reading it.

 

[shereads]

Joe, if you keep your balls where they're supposed to be and don't snap your cock, I think I'd show up to your next bash. <snip>

Scratches.....I'll never forget my first batch of gouges. <snip> That hurt like hell, there was skin gored down to muscle in 2 sets of 4 lines criss crossing my back. <snip>Holy shit. I wish I had had a camera.

<snip>....not into whipping so much <snip>

Oh shit, I have library books that have been due for a month. Crap.

This is one impressive post, TheDark. It's like a miniature rollercoaster of images, some of which are downright disturbing. I love the way you leaped right into the puppets and the Book of Mormon. And I forgive you for making me exhale Diet Coke through my sinuses.

What a brain work-out. Thank you!

 

[The_Darkness]

Shereads, I'm notorious for making women squirt various things. Coke through the nose isn't new for me, but hey, I take what I can get.

That book list....yeah.....that's what I get for being a book junkie. Every trip to the book store is 100 bucks that I could have spent for things like food.

Oh well. I'll die poor. Well-read....but poor.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Shan....not into whipping so much, but Dorian Gray is on my list of stuff to read, matter of fact it's 12th in the stack right now....right behind Irish folk tales, a religion book, the Aneid, Cujo, Card's Shadow Puppets, a couple of books on weapons, a little Polybius, The book of Mormon (I like a little comedy here and there), and finally Milton.

Move Dorian up - trust me, you'll thank me. Whose edition of Irish folk tales are you reading? If you're up for more the legend than the fairy tale end, I suggest Kinsella's translation of the Tain - great read.

Shanglan

 

[The_Darkness]

I have Legends and Tales of Ireland by Samuel Lover and Thomas Crocker and Folktales of Ireland which has been translated into English by Sean O'Sullivan.

After Dorian (in its current position) I have Robert Alter's new translation of the 5 Books of Moses. That's a big heavy bastard....haven't chewed through anything that thick since college.

Oh hell. That put my mind in odd places....but y'all know what I mean.

 

[shereads]

Shereads, I'm notorious for making women squirt various things. Coke through the nose isn't new for me, but hey, I take what I can get.

That book list....yeah.....that's what I get for being a book junkie. Every trip to the book store is 100 bucks that I could have spent for things like food.

Oh well. I'll die poor. Well-read....but poor.

I share your addiction to buying books. The library doesn't do it for me, and it's for the same reason I can't rent movies:

I'm a non-returner.

Yes, it's true. I can't return a movie or a book on time. And I don't like that plastic covering on library books. There are all kinds of wierd smudges on there, and I don't want to know what they are. Things squirted between consenting adults are their business, but I don't want to handle the books that inspired the big moment.



If you enjoy the Book of Mormon, wait till you read the sequel by Jon Krakauer, "Under the Banner of Heaven."

Scary. Seriously leave-the-lights-on scary.

 

[The_Darkness]

The Mormon's visited my girlfriend a while back....she asked them to come back on the weekend, knowing that I would be up to see her.

That was a real....interesting....chat. I'm not devoutly anything, but I am very Christian. I don't shovel my spiel down anyone's throat and I nod and smile when most people start speaking of alternate religions to me. I pay attention up until I know their getting into things that they don't understand....or blatently accepted at face value with out question. Enter the Mormon boys.

Their telling of history was.....unique. Their blatent ignoring of accepted facts and hard archeological truth and plain fucking common sense was....staggering.

I'm gonna rip through the Book of Mormon for historical innaccuracies...of which I'm sure there will be many....and my girl has already (a few years ago, when she was going to Divinity School in Nebraska) torn it apart line by line for biblical misquotes and blatent mistakes. We may conglomerate on a book. It'll be a fun little activity we can do as a couple!

 

[BlackShanglan]

I have Legends and Tales of Ireland by Samuel Lover and Thomas Crocker and Folktales of Ireland which has been translated into English by Sean O'Sullivan.

After Dorian (in its current position) I have Robert Alter's new translation of the 5 Books of Moses. That's a big heavy bastard....haven't chewed through anything that thick since college.

Oh hell. That put my mind in odd places....but y'all know what I mean.

Ah, nice choices - Lover and Croker some oldies but goodies. I hope that you enjoy -

Shanglan

 

[The_Darkness]

I should. They're a little too old to be telling stories of my relatives, but I've been told they did some awesome stuff after 1066 when they settled there after coming over from Norman.

 

[LorriLove]

You have just captured from me the title of

She Who Has Honed Her Craft

which was awarded to me last night after my post about how to get your chest to flush without having an orgasm. Congrats!

 

[The_Darkness]

Apparently no one fakes it on Sundays?

 

[minsue]

Apparently no one fakes it on Sundays?

Of course not! You go to hell for that!

 

[The_Darkness]

min, depending on the day, you should probably go to hell for it anyway....

 

[minsue]

min, depending on the day, you should probably go to hell for it anyway....

The least of my worries, Dark. (Quite literally, really. It never ceases to amuse me the number of well meaning people who try to frighten me by telling me I'm going to hell for not believing in god. Apparently the illogic of that escapes them. )

 

[carsonshepherd]

The least of my worries, Dark. (Quite literally, really. It never ceases to amuse me the number of well meaning people who try to frighten me by telling me I'm going to hell for not believing in god. Apparently the illogic of that escapes them. )

Like, since I don't believe in hell, I don't worry about going there? Dededede, dancing happily.

 

[The_Darkness]

Bah. I believe in God, and I'm going to hell....you see, the illogic is inescapable.

I believe in a religion that holds that if you don't believe in it, you go to Hell.

There is at least one other religion that both holds the same believe and is diametrically opposed to my own (One cannot be a Christian Muslem...it just doesn't work)

Therefore, since no one can be of both faiths, everyone is going to Hell.


Just to bring up your day....

 

[The_Darkness]

A roommate and I got all fucked up on whiskey and gin one night and we came up with "Six Flags over Hell" We used Dante for geography and Greek Mythology for flavor and came up with some twisted shit.

Even if there wasn't a Hell, I think God would probably invent one just for that place alone.....it was all kinds of fucked up, but it would have been more fun than eternal damnation and punishment.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Bah. I believe in God, and I'm going to hell....you see, the illogic is inescapable.

I believe in a religion that holds that if you don't believe in it, you go to Hell.

There is at least one other religion that both holds the same believe and is diametrically opposed to my own (One cannot be a Christian Muslem...it just doesn't work)

Therefore, since no one can be of both faiths, everyone is going to Hell.


Just to bring up your day....

But I don't believe in hell. Simple equation. No hell = not worried about it. Dededede.