Failure to reach an orgasm during intercourse

[Gilly Bean]

I am a healthy 23 year old woman. I have had several different partners in the past, and am now with my husband of nearly 4 years. I have been sexually active since I was about 17, and I have yet to even once achieve an orgasm through any sort of intercourse. I can only 'get off' by having someone go down on me, or anything else to my clit. I have tried several positions, I have tried being on top, and rubbing my clit against him, nothing works. HELP!!! It is frustrating to both me, and my husband that I can not do this. I hate to think that I am one of the people out there who just can't do it no matter what.

 

[lilfrk]

What...You don't have hands and neither does he? One of you, both of you should play with your clit during sex. Problem solved. Many woman can't cum from just straight sex. Happy Playing.

 

[Gilly Bean]

I have tried, and so has he, but it usually takes a tongue, wetness to do so. Hands tend to rub me raw very fast, even if we do try to keep them wet.

 

[Guest]

 

[sallultie]

What...You don't have hands and neither does he?

Or toys? Or time? Or creativity?

It's not at all uncommon and isn't something that you can necessarily "fix" by continuing to try. If you're only having straight sex and it's frustrating to you both, you're likely to have bigger problems before long. Trade off between oral & intercourse so you both get off. Talk it over and try adding some other sexual activities so you can both enjoy what you're doing.

If you're determined to orgasm from straight sex, try using a dildo or vibrator on yourself and experiment with it to see what works for you and what doesn't. (And if you let him watch, you may both enjoy it and find inspiration for new things to try

On the other hand, count your blessings.. lots of women don't orgasm at all, and lots have partners who don't care if they do or not!

 

[Gilly Bean]

Actually, the vibrator is something we are thinking of trying soon. I just bought my first one. I know now not to go with the plain old smooth plastic pink one. Took almost more time to get me off with that then it did the old fashioned way.

We don't do 'straight' sex. We very it up as much as possible. Different positions, restraints, etc. Just can't do it without the direct stimulation. And now, I am 6 months pregnant, and my belly is in the way of me being able to help with the direct stimulation part.

But we fully intend to make a trip back to the 'big city' and look over some new toys soon, and see what we can find that might help. Unfortunatly, we live in a smaller town, and the nearest big city with any kind of shop like that is 2 hours away. Fortunatly, though, it is also my home town, and I get to see my family for a few days when we go. Another unfortunate is we have to wait till we are home before trying out those new toys.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I will continue to strive towards higher platues, so to speak.



On another related note... Is it possible for all women to be able to achieve multiple orgasms? Because no matter what we do, I can't do it. In fact, if I have an orgasam, it is usually a good 5 or 6 hours before we can get it to happen again. My clit gets way to sensitive, and it almost hurts to try.

Anyway, again, thank you


Gilly Bean

 

[slavewriter69]

gb


I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but the Healing Tao has a few techniques for Orgasm control that I think can be applied to your situation.
One is the "Stone Egg" exercise, in which you use a special eggshaped weight and pull it up into your vagina with vaginal contractions, and by lifting the pelvic floor, this increases blood flow and sensitivity to the vagina, as well as increased stregth and elasticity (good for childbirth and recovery.)
The second is a breathing exercise called "Opening the Microcosmic Orbit" which is perscribed to help men cotrol the sensitivity of their penis for orgasm and ejaculation control. I suggest finding and reading "The Multi-Orgasmic Woman" , or "The Multi-Orgasmic Couple" ("Multi-Orgasmic Man" for your husband.)

And no, I don't work for the publishers.
Husband of slavewriter69, Fuzzy-Wuzzy