Facials demeaning?

[alain88]

I want to give a girl a facial and wonder if you ladies find them demeaning. I don't think that is why I want to, but I wonder if I'm kidding myself. I like the girl a lot and don't want to hurt her in any way. I certainly won't do it if she isn't willing, but wonder why I want to at all. I find it very erotic, but could see it might be different being on the receiving end. Maybe I've just seen to much porn.

 

[silverwhisper]

i think this is something you should explore but it probably isn't something you wanna try the first time you're in bed together.

ed

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I dont know that I'd find it "demeaning" per se, but I promise I would not appreciate it, personally.

Some chicks really dig it though.

I'd rather have it in my mouth the whole time, to be honest.

Show her a video clip and see how see reacts.

 

[sexslut]

My bf will cum

just as soon as I tell him to cum on my face. I agree. Don't do it the first time. Talk to her and tell her how much it turns you on. Is she submissive? She will not be able to wait for you to cum on her face.

 

[alain88]

I wouldn't say she is submissive but she does have an adventurous side. I just don't know why I want to cum on her face...and how to approach the subject with her. I can't imagine saying, " hey baby, mind if I spew my hot sticky cum all over your beautiful face". LOL What is really bothering me is why I want to do it at all.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Do you watch porn together??

Show the girl a video clip of another girl experiencing this and see what her reaction is.

If she reacts badly - I think you have a good answer!

 

[silverwhisper]

alain, it's probably the porn. :> don't worry about it: so long as you're both enjoying it and nobody's being hurt, who cares?

ed

 

[Lydya_H]

I think it is demeaning but I enjoy it, I like being messy, knowing how many guys I've pleased, and the guys I know really love coming on me, and it is an excuse to just go and take a nice, long bath so I can avoid all the awkward goodbyes afterwards. For most guys I know it seems the best part of sex for them is seeing a woman tasting or covered in his come, a lot are surprised that I'd let them do it which is the best thing for me.

 

[Eilan]

I think that the way that facials are portrayed in porn can be demeaning, but it's not like porn is necessarily a reflection of "real" people having sex.

I never experienced a facial until I met my husband. It never occurred to me to want to do it and if I had shown interest my ex-husband would have likely nixed the idea.

As far as I'm concerned, my husband is welcome to cum in me or on me--wherever he wants. If, however, we were to resume MFM's in the future, I wouldn't extend this "courtesy" to a new partner. But, then, I feel similarly about anal sex. Some activities, for me, require a fair amount of trust.

Just the way I'm wired, I guess. Other ladies' mileage may vary.

 

[ChasingShadowsX]

I know a lot of girls who do find it degrading, but personally if a girl could shoot me in the face with her juices I'd probably get off on it.

 

[M's girl]

I don't find it demeaning at all. I don't think M likes it because it's a dominant thing to him. There is no dom/submissive thing going on between us, but if there would be we would both be submissive. Still, the reason why I like it has nothing to do with being submissive. It's just.... hot.

It's probably trust somehow too. I have no idea how I would have reacted if a guy would have ever done that the first time. It's something that just happens one day (night ). By that time you probably know your partner well enough to sort of be sure about her reaction. If she lets you cum in her mouth I would say you have a good chance she won't mind. If she lets you cum in her mouth and then lets it ooze out over her face it would be an even better indication. From there the next step could be a partly facial and then you will know.

The alternative? Ask! But I know that's easier said than done....

 

[poppy1963]

I find it very demeaning and I don't allow it. Period. Unless I make an exception under certain circumstances for someone I trust...but that's just me. I am always surprised at the number of women who welcome it...

 

[midwestyankee]

This question has two parts, actually. First is the emotional side of receiving a facial. Second, there is the physical aspect of it.

My reading of this is that facials are a form of humiliation and humiliation is not the same thing as demeaning. If you choose to humble yourself before your partner, whether for the long term or in the moment, then most things that your partner does to you will feel satisfying. They will not feel demeaning and may, in fact, be tremendously exciting.

But if you see yourself as an intimate peer you may well feel that the act of giving a facial is a demeaning act. It's also possible for any act to be demeaning in intent. In my mind, demeaning is as much in the mind of the giver as it is in the mind of the receiver.

Physically, the sensation of feeling hot semen hit your face is pleasant to some people and not so much to others. Of course, our emotional reaction to the act colors our physical response as well. In other words, chacun a son gout (each to his own taste).

 

[M's girl]

I can be quite 'anal' about things like, well.... anal penetration, for instance and have the same reaction as poppy has. You can copy-paste her text if you ask me the same question about anal penetration!

But facials? Bring it on! It's hot. I will gladly almost show a porn-like attitude. Demeaning? Degrading? What are you talking about? But I can be as upset about other stuff.

Like the Yank said: chacun a son gout

 

[midlandsfun9999]

Isn't the fact it is demeaning the turn on for a lot of women? That's what I always assumed

 

[M's girl]

Isn't the fact it is demeaning the turn on for a lot of women? That's what I always assumed

I suppose not. Why would we want it to be? Okay, there are some.... Also, do not confuse submissive with the wish to be treated demeaning per se. For most, I assume, that is still roleplay.

 

[midlandsfun9999]

I suppose not. Why would we want it to be? Okay, there are some.... Also, do not confuse submissive with the wish to be treated demeaning per se. For most, I assume, that is still roleplay.

Fair enough. I think spme subs I know let the two worlds cross though

 

[midwestyankee]

I suppose not. Why would we want it to be? Okay, there are some.... Also, do not confuse submissive with the wish to be treated demeaning per se. For most, I assume, that is still roleplay.

This is similar to why I drew the distinction between humiliation and demeaning acts. A sub gives herself (or himself) over to humiliation by choice - and always within boundaries that are agreed upon with the Dominant.

Not all submissives are turned on by humiliation but all put themselves into a humble place with respect to their Dominants. In that context, a humiliating act such as calling her a slut or giving her a facial is an expected and rewarding part of the relationship dynamic. For another sub, that humility might be shown by submitting to being flogged simply for the pleasure of the Dominant. And it might not be role play either. What matters is that the sub, who always sets the boundaries in a consensual D/s relationship, accepts the actions of the Dominant willingly. Such acts are, by definition, not demeaning.

 

[Kinky-Princess]

The few times I have done it I have enjoyed it and I don't find demeaning.
Of course that could be because I am the one who has usually suggested or requested it.

 

[hogjack]

...I am the one who has usually suggested or requested it.

Thus you should be honored with some prize or recognition. I insist!

 

[TBKahuna123]

OK let's look a little deeper here into the emotional response to facials, and examine not the attitude of the giver alone, but the whole presentation of the experience.

My first experience with a live facial was with my wife. She was going down on me and just suddenly puled out and had me cum on her face. My response was laughter, believe it or not. I was in shock! We'd never really talked about it, I wasn't ready for it, so it caught me off guard. Laughter WASN'T the best response, but like i said, I was caught off guard because it was way out of character for her. Thing is, I was a little surprised that it wasn't as cool live as it was watching it on a movie. Once I had orgasmed I really didn't care where it was, I guess. Personally I would have rather cum in her mouth, it would have physically felt better. So it must be a purely emotional response that made it erotic. This set off a discussion that eventually led to some scientific research. I'm not kidding, we were very methodical about this.

The goal: To figure out why facials are erotic when there is no real physical trigger involved.

the Test: I downloaded 30 different facials clips off the net and compared them.

The Findings: Facial movies can fall into a few categories:

• Bored. The female partner just sits there, eyes closed so as not to get any in them and prays he hurries up and finishes.
• Humilation. In most of these the guy is holding the woman's head, forcing her into position while he blasts away.
• Desired. The female partner looks like she actually wants to recieve a facial, wants to make him explode.

Now these are just MY categories based on MY responses. I actually learned a lot about what I find erotic. Here's what I discovered about my own responses to such clips:

• The Boring clips do nothing for me. The Humiliating clips actually have a negative effect on me. the Desired clips are extremely erotic to me. Apparently just like I've said about blowjobs, it's all in the attitude.
• There's got to be more than just a guy blowing his load on a woman's face for it to be erotic. She has to be actively involved.
• The most erotic scenes to me are of a woman, continuing to orally please her lover as his cum runs from her mouth and down her chin. Again, personal preference, but to me it's the attitude, the desire to please her lover. Just cum on the cheek does nothing for me.

So there you have it. Sure it's over though, wordy and sanitizingly scientific, but it's 4:30 on a friday and I'm sick of being at work.

 

[Dana Gallagher]

I know a lot of girls who do find it degrading, but personally if a girl could shoot me in the face with her juices I'd probably get off on it.

Ahem, I can. Shoot a man in the face with my juices. Not that I try to, but I do....

I end appologising but everyone that it's happened to love it... Now on the other end of things I don't want a guy to cum in my face. With the guy it's more of a choice thing, they have to take it out and point in the general direction of the face. With me a guy is down there either with is mouth or tongue and I squirt and it goes everywhere. I tell him ahead of time I squirt, gush, spew... my orgasms are a wet and wild time. Most are fine with this.

I would find the cum in the face degrading. I've never had a guy ask me to do it either.

Like most said here pornos or pictures, show them to her. If she doesn't like it, then you have your answer. Hell, show her this thread.

 

[alain88]

OK let's look a little deeper here into the emotional response to facials, and examine not the attitude of the giver alone, but the whole presentation of the experience.

My first experience with a live facial was with my wife. She was going down on me and just suddenly puled out and had me cum on her face. My response was laughter, believe it or not. I was in shock! We'd never really talked about it, I wasn't ready for it, so it caught me off guard. Laughter WASN'T the best response, but like i said, I was caught off guard because it was way out of character for her. Thing is, I was a little surprised that it wasn't as cool live as it was watching it on a movie. Once I had orgasmed I really didn't care where it was, I guess. Personally I would have rather cum in her mouth, it would have physically felt better. So it must be a purely emotional response that made it erotic. This set off a discussion that eventually led to some scientific research. I'm not kidding, we were very methodical about this.

The goal: To figure out why facials are erotic when there is no real physical trigger involved.

the Test: I downloaded 30 different facials clips off the net and compared them.

The Findings: Facial movies can fall into a few categories:

• Bored. The female partner just sits there, eyes closed so as not to get any in them and prays he hurries up and finishes.
• Humilation. In most of these the guy is holding the woman's head, forcing her into position while he blasts away.
• Desired. The female partner looks like she actually wants to recieve a facial, wants to make him explode.

Now these are just MY categories based on MY responses. I actually learned a lot about what I find erotic. Here's what I discovered about my own responses to such clips:

• The Boring clips do nothing for me. The Humiliating clips actually have a negative effect on me. the Desired clips are extremely erotic to me. Apparently just like I've said about blowjobs, it's all in the attitude.
• There's got to be more than just a guy blowing his load on a woman's face for it to be erotic. She has to be actively involved.
• The most erotic scenes to me are of a woman, continuing to orally please her lover as his cum runs from her mouth and down her chin. Again, personal preference, but to me it's the attitude, the desire to please her lover. Just cum on the cheek does nothing for me.

So there you have it. Sure it's over though, wordy and sanitizingly scientific, but it's 4:30 on a friday and I'm sick of being at work.

I agree. I think a good example are the Peter North videos. The girls seem to actually enjoy what they are allowing. Of course with Peter it is kind of like worshiping at the shrine. LOL. Even as a totally straight man I am amazed by the sheer amount and thickness of that guy's cum. I can see why his clips always end with facial...I don't think there is a woman on earth that wouldn't choke on those huge, thick loads if she tried to swallow. I must admit to being envious...he does always get the best looking partners.

 

[gluttonne]

if you can't talk about it, you'd better think twice about just doing it. this is between you and her, alain88, and every relationship has its own unique language of sorts, so i can't tell you what will work for you.. only that if you aren't pretty convinced that all is okay, you're better off communicating about it in some way first.

 

[Lydya_H]

I think for some guys they're just surprised and delighted they have found something they can give to a girl and please her, that they expected she could enjoy, that's for a guy like Kahuna he needs to know the girl is really appreciative and wants it.

For other guys I think it is better if the girl doesn't want it, a lot of guys like it if I play up for them and act like I don't want to, but I think maybe it's like I go from being really reluctant but letting them do it, so they have that control over me, and then not really disliking it at all, I don't really play up for them once everythings done, I just kind of act... normal or something, I don't like look at them doe eyed like "Oh my god you're so cruel!" like in some porn films, but they delight in seeing a ghirl tolerate that kind of stuff for their pleasure...

I remember I had this feeling so strong when my fiance would go down on me when we first got together he'd kind of lick and kiss me in my ass, I was totally shocked that a guy would actually go there and love it as much as he did, it was like I discovered this part of me that I never thought could be attractive to someone but really was...