experiment

[Jason_2006]

recently, i decided that i would try to improve my social skills. i want to be able to not get nervous when i get around women and at least be able to carry on a decent conversation. im tired of being an introvert and i want to put myself out there and take risks. baby steps first though, right?

i decided, i would try to meet some interesting ladies online. instead of just hoping someone would send me a message i actually initiated conversations. although some of them didnt go quite as i expected, most of the responses were actually good. i even met a couple of ladies who would be interested in getting to know me a bit better.

anyway, yesterday while i was at the store i saw this beautiful girl shopping. with my new confidence from the girls i met online, i decided to go talk to her. i walked up to her and at the last second i chickened out. my mind went blank and i couldnt think of anything to say. well, at least i approached her right? but thats not enough for me though. next time i meet someone i think is attractive, i want to actually talk to her.

so here is my experiment. i want whoever is willing to help to give me pointers on what to do to build my confidence and help me have an easier time talking to girls. for the next 3 weeks, i learn from you guys and do what you say as long as it will help me. right now, im more focused on what to say when i talk to someone online and great places to go online to meet interesting people. if you tell me a chatroom, im there. you think this forum will be a great place, count me in. And i'll be updating this thread daily with what happened as a result of your suggestions on the previous day. i want to harness my inner Cassanova.lol. and hopefully, at the end end of these 3 weeks, some of the advice and training you guys put me through will translate into the real world. if youre interested, just post in this thread or send me a private message or an e-mail (jundam@gmail.com). now, cue the Rocky music, and let the training begin!

 

[ima6uldv8]

I would suggest talking to them online more. That should help you some. Also, when you approach a woman, what you say doesn't have to be anything profound. Just something casual to get a conversation started (not the weather, though) Women like confidence but not cockiness, at least I do. I hope this rambling has helped some.

 

[Jason_2006]

I would suggest talking to them online more. That should help you some. Also, when you approach a woman, what you say doesn't have to be anything profound. Just something casual to get a conversation started (not the weather, though) Women like confidence but not cockiness, at least I do. I hope this rambling has helped some.

thanks. any and all help/words of wisdom is definitely welcome. nice avatar by the way ( see, using your advice already.lol).

 

[purrbaby]

Okay, rule number one, nice breath, big smile, don't stand within the "personal zone," that's a really good tip for approaching women.

Rule number two, say something simple, but show that you noticed something specific about her. Not a "hey you're female and that's awesome" line lol (For example a cheap line like "what's your sign" or "Are you from TN because you're the only ten I see" Those are lines to be avoided by pain of death.) Something like "Hi, excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your earrings, I'm looking for something for my sister/mother/cousin and she would love something like that." You're not coming off as a perv, and you show you like her taste. That line specifically is slightly overused but it won't keep a woman from answering you, at least in my experience being out with friends. Make sure to ACTUALLY talk about whatever you mentioned about her. Not just an opening line, but a sincere conversation.

After that it's just feeling out the situation. Ask if she's from around there, if she's visiting family, does she like such and such food, has she been to this great place over on what's-it's-name drive, be light, casual, interested. Look at her EYES not her lips. And if I have to tell you not to look lower, this is a lost cause lol (Important to also not stare at her like you're trying to bore a hole to her brain.)

Mostly, common sense. Being polite. Being interested. Being gentle. Being DELICATELY honest. A woman wants to see who you are, just not all of it in one big swallow lol

Hope this helps.

(Off subject tip, chop up your post a bit hun, you'll get more posts that way. Solid wall of text is a bit daunting lol )

 

[charmed1]

Okay, rule number one, nice breath, big smile, don't stand within the "personal zone," that's a really good tip for approaching women.

Rule number two, say something simple, but show that you noticed something specific about her. Not a "hey you're female and that's awesome" line lol (For example a cheap line like "what's your sign" or "Are you from TN because you're the only ten I see" Those are lines to be avoided by pain of death.) Something like "Hi, excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your earrings, I'm looking for something for my sister/mother/cousin and she would love something like that." You're not coming off as a perv, and you show you like her taste. That line specifically is slightly overused but it won't keep a woman from answering you, at least in my experience being out with friends. Make sure to ACTUALLY talk about whatever you mentioned about her. Not just an opening line, but a sincere conversation.

After that it's just feeling out the situation. Ask if she's from around there, if she's visiting family, does she like such and such food, has she been to this great place over on what's-it's-name drive, be light, casual, interested. Look at her EYES not her lips. And if I have to tell you not to look lower, this is a lost cause lol (Important to also not stare at her like you're trying to bore a hole to her brain.)

Mostly, common sense. Being polite. Being interested. Being gentle. Being DELICATELY honest. A woman wants to see who you are, just not all of it in one big swallow lol

Hope this helps.

(Off subject tip, chop up your post a bit hun, you'll get more posts that way. Solid wall of text is a bit daunting lol )

I was gonna say something along those lines but you put it into words WAY better than I would have done. So, I'll just say...Ditto.

 

[purrbaby]

I was gonna say something along those lines but you put it into words WAY better than I would have done. So, I'll just say...Ditto.

::bows:: Thank you Charmed lol I owe it to the many many self help books I read. And various websites for men where I spied on the enemy and realized, some of them knew wtf they were doing lol

 

[charmed1]

::bows:: Thank you Charmed lol I owe it to the many many self help books I read. And various websites for men where I spied on the enemy and realized, some of them knew wtf they were doing lol

You spied on the enemy? Do tell.

 

[purrbaby]

You spied on the enemy? Do tell.

You know everything we think is awesome and great? Yeah, they read that online. Cheaters.

::Will thumps the back of my head::

OW!

Okay... so I cheat too. But he benefits from my gained wisdom

 

[charmed1]

You know everything we think is awesome and great? Yeah, they read that online. Cheaters.

::Will thumps the back of my head::

OW!

Okay... so I cheat too. But he benefits from my gained wisdom

*nods* Indeed, he does. He should encourage you to spy often.

 

[purrbaby]

*nods* Indeed, he does. He should encourage you to spy often.

I do, anyway

Oh and he does... often...

 

[charmed1]

I do, anyway

Oh and he does... often...

If you don't mind, report your interesting findings to me. I need more ammo.

 

[purrbaby]

If you don't mind, report your interesting findings to me. I need more ammo.

Hehe, will do

 

[charmed1]

Hehe, will do

Goody

 

[purrbaby]

Heading to bed early, have things I must be up early for so returning thread to it's original intention.

I have another bit of advice. Smell good. And by that I don't mean bathing in cologne lol Too much is just as bad if not worse than none.

 

[Jason_2006]

thanks for the tips. the one about the earrings was excellent. i guess the best thing i could do is just be cool and let my natural charm do the rest. friendly, but not too agressive i guess. as for my update today. not much really. havent really been out much today so im trying out some of the suggestions online. so far so good.

Okay, rule number one, nice breath, big smile, don't stand within the "personal zone," that's a really good tip for approaching women.

Rule number two, say something simple, but show that you noticed something specific about her. Not a "hey you're female and that's awesome" line lol (For example a cheap line like "what's your sign" or "Are you from TN because you're the only ten I see" Those are lines to be avoided by pain of death.) Something like "Hi, excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your earrings, I'm looking for something for my sister/mother/cousin and she would love something like that." You're not coming off as a perv, and you show you like her taste. That line specifically is slightly overused but it won't keep a woman from answering you, at least in my experience being out with friends. Make sure to ACTUALLY talk about whatever you mentioned about her. Not just an opening line, but a sincere conversation.

After that it's just feeling out the situation. Ask if she's from around there, if she's visiting family, does she like such and such food, has she been to this great place over on what's-it's-name drive, be light, casual, interested. Look at her EYES not her lips. And if I have to tell you not to look lower, this is a lost cause lol (Important to also not stare at her like you're trying to bore a hole to her brain.)

Mostly, common sense. Being polite. Being interested. Being gentle. Being DELICATELY honest. A woman wants to see who you are, just not all of it in one big swallow lol

Hope this helps.

(Off subject tip, chop up your post a bit hun, you'll get more posts that way. Solid wall of text is a bit daunting lol )

 

[Jason_2006]

I was gonna say something along those lines but you put it into words WAY better than I would have done. So, I'll just say...Ditto.

thanks!

 

[purrbaby]

thanks for the tips. the one about the earrings was excellent. i guess the best thing i could do is just be cool and let my natural charm do the rest. friendly, but not too agressive i guess. as for my update today. not much really. havent really been out much today so im trying out some of the suggestions online. so far so good.

No problem hun. It's pretty easy as soon as you realize, if the girl won't like you for you, she's not who you want to be around anyway.

 

[Jason_2006]

No problem hun. It's pretty easy as soon as you realize, if the girl won't like you for you, she's not who you want to be around anyway.

i hear ya there. thanks again. hey, do you have any tips for meeting girls online and know of any great places to meet new people?

 

[purrbaby]

i hear ya there. thanks again. hey, do you have any tips for meeting girls online and know of any great places to meet new people?

Well... I met my fiance online. And I have to say, I wasn't trying. So honestly no, just spread yourself around a lot, be friendly, open, interested. Don't be too serious, don't look for a relationship, just have fun, meet people. Watch out for psychos lol There are plenty of psycho women out there.

 

[Jason_2006]

Well... I met my fiance online. And I have to say, I wasn't trying. So honestly no, just spread yourself around a lot, be friendly, open, interested. Don't be too serious, don't look for a relationship, just have fun, meet people. Watch out for psychos lol There are plenty of psycho women out there.

thanks. i'll keep an eye out for the crazy women. the last thing i need is a fatal attraction scenario.lol

 

[Jason_2006]

ok, here's the update for tonight.

1. told a girl that i met a couple of days ago that she was hot and she added me to her contact list.

2. met another girl today who is beautiful and seems interested in me.

keep the advice coming guys!

 

[Lust Engine]

Don't be so desperate.

Just try and talk to people FIRST. Don't even think of it as "she digs me", "I dig her" and maybe we'll hook up. That sounds so pathetic.

Can't you just talk to someone on an intellectual level first? Simply put- have a conversation with someone. Stop thinking with your dick. Quit trying to impress people and be yourself. Sooner or later all of those facades of trying to impress someone will fall and they'll really discover you then- you want them to fall for a phony you or the real you??

 

[ima6uldv8]

Don't be so desperate.

Just try and talk to people FIRST. Don't even think of it as "she digs me", "I dig her" and maybe we'll hook up. That sounds so pathetic.

Can't you just talk to someone on an intellectual level first? Simply put- have a conversation with someone. Stop thinking with your dick. Quit trying to impress people and be yourself. Sooner or later all of those facades of trying to impress someone will fall and they'll really discover you then- you want them to fall for a phony you or the real you??

Great advice! I found my Master by accident and I was in no way looking. I was just enjoying being here and making new friends.

 

[Lust Engine]

Great advice! I found my Master by accident and I was in no way looking. I was just enjoying being here and making new friends.

My point exactly! If someone's looking for formulas, it's just not going to work. In the long run, formulas & gimmicks wear off and then you're stuck with the real you.

 

[Jason_2006]

Don't be so desperate.

Just try and talk to people FIRST. Don't even think of it as "she digs me", "I dig her" and maybe we'll hook up. That sounds so pathetic.

Can't you just talk to someone on an intellectual level first? Simply put- have a conversation with someone. Stop thinking with your dick. Quit trying to impress people and be yourself. Sooner or later all of those facades of trying to impress someone will fall and they'll really discover you then- you want them to fall for a phony you or the real you??

actually, i wasnt thinking with my dick. i just wanted to get to know her first and i just was unsure of how to go about it. my thoughts were completely pure. i promise