Exercise

[TheEarl]

Usurping WSO's spot? Never. Just thought this'd be fun.

Within 700 words, write one of your favourite scenes from a film. Describe the characters, what they're doing, what they're like, what they're saying and how they're talking. It's (hopefully) an interesting exercise, because it's a test of showing readers things which are so easy to see on film, but maybe difficult to write.

The Earl

 

[wildsweetone]

out of the seven views this thread has had, i've clicked in it three times... and darn but i wish it had changed! lol

all i can think of is a scene from the Star Wars movie where that weird lookin' animal with the floppy ears is walking around with a numb tongue saying something daft like 'Yessir, yousa gonna helpsa hesa whosa...' etc. you get the picture. lol


i think it's about time i went to the movies...

(ps Earl, I don't mind anyone putting up exercises, it's all good fun and great learning)

 

[TheEarl]

Seems like no-one else likes this exercise either. Last time I try and make an effort .

Taxi!

The Earl

 

[MathGirl]

Career change

Seems like no-one else likes this exercise either. Last time I try and make an effort .The Earl

Dear Earl,
Don't despair, dear. Maybe you should try your hand at being an advice to the lovelorn columnist.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Start the word count!

The Great Hall was full of blabbering and laughter from pupils and teachers alike, everyone sleepy-eyed from just being jerked out of their beds, but too giddy with relief and excitement to want to pass up this chance to celebrate. The terror was over, they could finally breathe easy, and at this moment, no-one cared about it being a scool-night. Concidering that the teachers were joining in on the festivities, there would most likely be a big sleep-in the next morning.

At one of the long tables, the joy and relief was mixed with a strong feeling of pride, and the young hero was patted on the back over and over again, no-one seemed to mind that he still hadn't changed his clothes, and was wearing a ripped, dirty and blood-stained robe. Those girls who dared, hugged him and kissed his dusty, messed-up hair.

There was only one who didn't join in on the multitude of cheerings. A blond boy drank his juice and sulked, glaring resentfully across the room at the hero and his friends. The boys on either side of him thoughtlessly joined in on the laughter of the others, but shuit up as the blond boy gave them each a sharp look.

The noise of feet outside the Great Hall made the hero and his friend turn their heads towards the entrance, and both their faces lit up even further as a girl with messy brown curls came running into the Hall. The hero jumped to his feet and ran to greet her. The people in the room smiled, touched at heart, as the two fell into each others arms and hugged each other hard, rocking left and right. They beamed with happiness as they let go, and a red-haired boy flew to his feet, equally happy. Just as he and the brown-haired girl seemed about to hug, they jumped back from each other, as if hit by electricity. Their faces struggled to assume a more dignified expression of their emotions, and they shook hands...





Perhaps not 700 words, but fuggadugg! OK, does anyone but Just-Legal know what film this is from?

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Start the word count!

Perhaps not 700 words, but fuggadugg! OK, does anyone but Just-Legal know what film this is from?

Sure sounds like one of the Three Stooges movies.

MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Re: Start the word count!

Sure sounds like one of the Three Stooges movies.

MG

The Three Who???

 

[MathGirl]

Larry, Curly, and Moe

The Three Who???

Good grief! It never occurred to me that anyone never heard of the Three Stooges.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Are they related to the Marx Brothers?

 

[MercyMia]

something related to Harry Potter? (wild guess, perhaps based on Sven's sig)

hi theEarl, i think this was a valid writing exercise but am not a movie person. the scenes i *do* tend to remember have little dialogue, lots of face-shots, meaningful looks.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

something related to Harry Potter? (wild guess, perhaps based on Sven's sig)

People who know me wouldn't call that a WILD guess - more like "a safe bet".

Yes, ofcourse it's Harry Potter. The final scene in Chamber of Secrets, when all the petrifed victims have been cured, and right before Hagrid returns from Azkaban.

And the hero and his friends are, naturally, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley.

And the blonde sourpuss is all our favourite neo-nazi, Draco Malfoy.

 

[Dirt Man]

I knew who all the characters where...

I just hadn't seen the second movie is all. LOL

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: I knew who all the characters where...

I just hadn't seen the second movie is all. LOL

Yeah right.

 

[TheEarl]

The Earl's effort...

A man sits in a darkened room, his eyes fixed on the monitor in front of him. It slowly focuses on the poker game, zooming in on Eddie’s hand. Two sixes and a ten.

“Jesus,” he murmurs as the implications of the cards sink in. “Oh my good God. He’ll take you to the cleaners.” His hand reaches out to the transmitter and starts tapping a signal out to one of the card players.

Four men and a woman sit at a table in a boxing ring. All the lights are trained on the table and shadows cover boxing equipment all around. Eddie lifts up the corner of his cards, ascertaining their value, then trains his eyes on Harry. His sharp brown eyes are expert at looking for the slightest sign of a reaction and the large pile of chips in front of him shows how good he is at it. Anyone who took his youth for inexperience has gone home much poorer. Reactions always tell in poker and when there’s this much money around, there’s always a reaction.

Harry’s eyes widen as the signal from the transmitter taps out the message on his leg. The hidden transmitter has given Harry the edge so far, but he’s not been lucky with the cards. This hand doesn’t look like being any different.

Eddie sees Harry’s reaction. He knows he’s in for a chance of something big, but it there’s not even a flutter on his face. “Twenty grand. Open.”

“Thirty thousand. Back to you already Eddie.” Harry has a grin on his face, but it’s as much of a mask as Eddie’s poker face.

“Fifty grand.”

“Eighty grand.”

Eddie stares at Harry for a second. It’s a lot of money, but he’s confident. “One hundred grand.”

One of the other players looks at both of them. He folded from this hand early and is very glad he did. Uncomfortable at the enmity across the table, he attempts to make peace. “Whoah, whoah, whoah fellas. I know…”

“I know you’re not in. Which means no-one cares what you know.” Harry’s response is snapped, the only evidence of the pressure that’s in the room. He returns to looking at Eddie. “Two hundred and fifty.”

A look of shock crosses Eddie’s features. The poker face is back in position almost instantly, but it’s clear he’s taken aback. “That’s quite a raise. That’s an extra one hundred and fifty on my one hundred.”

“Yeah. Anything else you’d like to say?”

“As you know, this puts us in an awkward position.” His eyes flick across to the firm figure of Tanya, the dealer. “I don’t have the money to continue.”

Well, we’ll have to see both your cards then.” Tanya is middle aged, but inexplicably stern. She’s surrounded by gangsters, but has no fear of them at all. “Unless someone loans Eddie the money. It’s a loan, or we see both your cards.”

The two remaining players avoid Tanya’s eyes. Eddie has been making a lot of money all night, but none of them are confident enough to advance him this kind of cash even if they had it.

“I will.” Harry’s interruption is unexpected and everyone looks at him in surprise.

“You will what?” Eddie asks.

“I will lend you the money.”

“No, I think I’d rather just turn them over.” Eddie’s hand reaches for his cards. This is too big a risk; he’s only a small time card player and three-quarters of the money isn’t even his.

“I’m not interested in what you would rather.” Harry’s voice is firm, refuting any possibility of argument. “I wanna continue. I’m also offering you the money, so we don’t have to turn them over because you can borrow.”

“I need two hundred and fifty grand.” Eddie’s incredulity is showing through in his voice.

“No, you need five hundred grand to see me.”

“That’s if I wanna see you.” The poker face has gone and Eddie’s brow is wrinkled with a worried frown. Everyone knows how much this is worth to him.

“Well, you’ll have a bit of trouble carrying on aintcha?”

The taunt registers on Eddie. He has another check at his hand. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. He’s confident in his hand and if he wins, he and his mates will be set for life. “I’ll see you.”

“Okay. Now before I loan you this, I expect, if you lose of course, my money back within a week. That’s Sunday. Crystal?” Eddie’s jaw clenches and a small muscle is working on the side of his face. He knows damn well that if he loses, he can’t raise five hundred grand in a year, let alone a week.

Harry reaches to his cards and lays them out on the table, one at a time. Each slap on the cards thumps in Eddie’s head as he watches his opponent. Seven. Seven. Four. The world twists around Eddie as he stares frozen at the cards.

Tanya glances over to Harry. “Is that it?”

Harry nods. He’s knows he’s won and the triumph in his voice echoes round Eddie’s soul. “Now, let’s see his fuckin’ cards.”

Eddie flips his hand over quickly, unable to bear it. The cards which had boded so well flop onto the table, displaying their perfidious faces. Six, six, ten.

The world is muted all around him. He can feel himself get up from his chair, pick up his jacket, nod to Tanya and leave the ring, but it’s as though everything around him is underwater. Nothing seems real in the face of this tragedy.

He steps past the bouncers and outside the building. The door shuts behind him and suddenly his entire body collapses. He reels against the wall, retching and staggers away to inform his friends that they have to find five hundred grand in seven days.


Anyone who can't guess the film should be ashamed of themselves.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels???

Svenskaflicka
The Shameless

 

[TheEarl]

What did you think of my effort SF?

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Just read my own rules...

Within 700 words?

The (absent-minded of rules) Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

You mean I was right?

 

[TheEarl]

Damn straight. Course you were.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Yeeeee-haaa!

I'm the best! I'm the greatest! Huh? Say what? Modesty? You mean, like that cartoon character?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

OK, I've already done this exercise once, but I'll go again, I like this game! To make it more difficult, I'll take something else than Harry Potter this time.


The old woman nervously adjusted her skirt as she looked around. No-one in sight. She hurriedly left the bush she was hiding behind and toddled over the lawn, as fast as her old legs could carry her - which was much slower than usual, due to her not being used to walk in shoes with such high heels. The short-short tight skirt was also limiting her ability to move. She made it to another bush, and nervously pulled on the skimpy blouse she was wearing, trying to make it cover both her belly and her wrinkled bosom. It was a futile attempt. She looked up, trying to make an estimation of how much further it was to the pavilion, where the other guests were. Looking up, she felt her dry skin flush as she saw 3 people standing looking at her. Two men of the clerge, one dressed in the traditional black shirt and white collar, the other - oh, dear! - dressed as the very archbishop himself! And, next to them, a young woman dressed as a playboy bunny...


OK, it's a bit short, but... Now THIS is a must-know!

 

[TheEarl]

Not a clue.

The Earl

 

[Cleopatra]

I don't know either. But I did know the "Lock Stock". I guess I was seeing the scene in my head as I was reading it, but it seemed very true to form. If a bit long.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Oh, come on!!!

Don't you recognise this? It's from a very famous movie! OK, a hint: "tarts and wickars".

Now that gives it away completely...

 

[TheEarl]

Nope. Still completely lost.

The Earl