Evil Tongue

[Olivianna]

The religion in which I was raised has this concept about gossip and slander, which it refers to as 'evil tongue.' Gossip, in this case, involves any negative talk about another person (even if it is true and deserved). 'Evil tongue' also includes any talk that is made which results in embarrassing/humiliating another person; self-incriminating speech; and telling someone a derogatory statement that another has said about them. However, there are exceptions in the case where it is necessity to tell someone something that could potentially harm them.

It is said that when one engages in 'evil tongue', three murders are committed - the person of whom the gossip/slander is concerned dies, the person who speaks dies, and the person who listens dies. Obviously, these aren't literal deaths. The idea really is to convey the power of speech. According to this idea of 'evil tongue,' speaking of someone's negative characteristics (including yourself) has the effect of defining them further, in essence making them more real - giving them more substance and validity. Of course, conversely, positive speech will have a similar effect.

The reason I bring this up - in this particular context (at Lit) - is that I find myself drawn to the gossip that fills up the pages of this website. There is slander, humiliation, drama...you name it. It makes me wonder if by reading it and even contributing to it I am - in a metaphorical sense - killing myself. Can this be good for us?

 

[Nora]

Probably not, but it sure can be fun.

 

[Rambling Rose]

I'll loan you my tongue scraper if you think it will help.

 

[m4m4 l0n9]

ok

 

[Lancecastor]

I read a similar piece about secrets once....making someone keep your secret allows you to lift the burden and tell...the other person then has the burden.

Few can or will accept this unfair burden for long, which is why secrets invariably are let slip..."But you musn't tell ANYONE!".

Shunning gossip is a good thing, O.

 

[Earthmuffin]

Momma always said....

If you can't be nice at least be honest!

 

[modest mouse]

Out of curiosity, are you referring to Judaism?

 

[Agent99]

Olivianna,

This is a marvelous thread. I have always tried to follow that philosophy. I cannot see how speaking ill of someone; starting and/or repeating rumors; making negative comments and innuendoes can do anything constructive. It only serves to present the perpetrator in an equally unflattering light in my opinion.

Very interesting metaphor - how apropos that three characters suffer death. Character assassination by the perpetrator on the victim, and the drawing in of a third party for validation or witnessing. This is a great illustration of how powerful and harmful words can be to many people at the same time.

Of course we all falter on occasion (I have even found myself participating lately in a verbal assault) but this is the kind of discussion that might make people stop for a moment and think of how their words and actions affect others.

 

[Olivianna]

Out of curiosity, are you referring to Judaism?

Yeah.

 

[Olivianna]

99,
I really like your likening of the metaphor to a character assasination. In a way, I guess, the metaphor is dramatic enough to do exactly what you say - draw attention to the sober reality of speech (written or spoken).

This is on my mind now and again because I engage in gossip (not copious, but average amounts). I am also aware that the desire to be critical of others has a tendency to turn inwards. What drives our urges (in this direction) - what could be different if we redirected our attentions elsewhere? (I'm not speaking specifically of the Lit community, but rather of humans in general.)

 

[Agent99]

People with low self-esteem project their shortcomings outward.

It is so much easier to ascribe negative qualities to others while denying that we harbor those exact same qualities within ourselves. A modicum of self-preservation perhaps? Attack someone else and thus, shine the spotlight on them in order to slip into the safety of darkness?

It doesn't seem so blatant in the outside world, but in an insular community such as a bulletin board it seems to predominate. I think people find it easy to jump on the bandwagon because of a form of mob rule that surrounds this behavior.

It's funny, I have always been the opposite. I usually use a form of self-deprecating humor. Perhaps that is so I can make fun of myself before anyone else has a chance to do so? Food for thought.

 

[Olivianna]

People with low self-esteem project their shortcomings outward.

It is so much easier to ascribe negative qualities to others while denying that we harbor those exact same qualities within ourselves. A modicum of self-preservation perhaps? Attack someone else and thus, shine the spotlight on them in order to slip into the safety of darkness?

You know, whenever I am thinking negative things about someone, a part of me is also wondering if in fact those things that I dislike in others is merely what I dislike in myself. In many cases (even in more nebulous examples) this is the case.

Yes, so - is it self-preservation, then? Or self-annihilation?

 

[EllieTalbot]

This is an interesting thread, with some really insightful questions to think about. I respect the thoughts here, and so will refrain from adding my own at the moment, as I'm not not in my most agile state of mind right now.

But I'm subscribing to this thread, and will be coming back to it when I'm ready to put truly considered thought into a response.

 

[Olivianna]

Look forward to hearing from you, Ellie.

You know, doing without the dirt is like cutting out sugar from one's diet.