Ever meet someone with a phobia of dominants?

[sunandshadow]

I'm talking the equivalent of homophobia, fear that is expressed more as anger/hate. Of both male and female dominants. Just curious if this was a somewhat widespread phenomenon like homophobia, or if the case I've encountered is rare.

 

[CutieMouse]

Dominants as in BDSM? Sure, there are people out there who HATE dominant types, based on what they think they know about BDSM.

(Key phrase there being "what they think they know...")

There are also probably people out there who had a bad experience (or series of bad experiences), and associate that with "dominance". Depending on the trauma, that could easily turn to hatred of an entire group, as well.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Me-- it's mild, I guess, and I never noticed it until you asked!
And it only lasts until I actually meet someone and they yanno... smile at me, or something.

 

[collector_guide]

On the flip side of people outside the lifestyle looking in who judge from ignorance, I'd say there are also subs who are traumatized from negative experience.

My wife had this experience prior to meeting me; she was in an extremely abusive relationship that became abusive once her and the guy got heavily into bdsm. Looking back she realizes he had issues previous to this, but being her "dom" left him feeling he could do whatever he wanted. I'll skip the details, but they were very extreme circumstances well outside of the safe/sane/consensual guidelines.

Once she was finally able to get away and get safe she wrestled quite a bit with the fact that she strongly had submissive urges but so far 100% of her experiences with a Dom were negative. In fact it wasn't just him because he invited over his "dom" friends to ramp up the abuse.

So she had something of a phobia to dominant personalities for a while.

 

[sunandshadow]

This is probably a case where the woman is naturally inclined to be a domme (or at least not a sub) and was traumatized by past bullying, so that fits right in with what you all are saying. Makes sense.

 

[KoPilot]

I'm not "scared" of dominants, but I am most definitely very suspicious of people in positions of authority. The only way to gain my trust is to continuously work against all the cozy implications of what they have going for them and how far they are capable of reaching.