Ever feel like a freak among family & friends?

[Chi-Guy31]

Hi all, I was just wondering if any of the other lovely, insightful people here ever feel like a freak among family and friends because they would never understand why you would ever post here or express your sexuality in this fashion? Do posters here have others in their life to which they can share this live, in person? I guess they do, actually, after having browsed through many couples' pics in the Amateur section!

I enjoy discussing sexual topics openly here and at other boards, whether it be fantasies, sex acts, likes/dislikes, porn, fetishes, etc, but I have no one to talk about this with in my daily, face-to-face life. My wife is a great woman, we are best friends, we laugh, talk and spend all of our time together, but she just has no frame of reference for this or any motivation to share in it. In addition, the friends we have, well, it just wouldn't work as a topic with them either, though they are all smart, funny people.

I don't know, for the most part, expressing this side of me online has been fine, there are just times where it crosses over into my daily life and awkwardness abounds, making me feel as if everyone sees me as a perverted freak.

OK, just wanted to unload, thanks for listening...

 

[oddity83]

Sounds like me everday, should have seen the look on my friends face when I asked lead fishing weights for a paddle for a little added umff on impact. HE asked why I wanted stuff by size.

 

[Chi-Guy31]

Good to know, thanks oddity! You know, I can feel perfectly normal reading and posting on Lit and adultdvdtalk.com, but sometimes find it frustrating that I can't really share what I learn and discuss here in open conversation with people. Everything else I enjoy in life, in terms of art, music, film, TV, history, food & wine are great topics I love to discuss at length with people, but I guess there are times where it'd be fun to tell people about some great new porn DVD I got starring my fav female performer or how a thread on here concerning butt plugs got my attention big time!

 

[5pintshefound]

hey Chi-guy... yup sounds like me too.. i love coming on here,and being able to talk about anything.. ahve a story to tell about this subject in particular... Sunday morning, my parents stopped by to take me and my boys to church {my car is broke, so they drove us}... and when they got here, i was upstairs changing... well, i had forgotten that i was logged in to lit... now thankfully i have the avatars turned off, because ihave a 5 yo son, and he doesnt need to be seeing some of the avatars that are on here...but, the very top thread that was open, in how to, was 'how to use a strap on, on a man' so my very innocent mom {yes i know shes had 3 kids, but seh really has no clue whats going on in the world sexually.... this is the same woman taht asked how 2 men could have sex--yes she REALLY did} was sitting at the computer tscreen and thats what she saw... yes it makes me feel like a freak sometimes, cause i know she doesnt understand, but i absolutely love the commraderie {sp?} and openness that i find on teh boards... i love the fact that there is aplace that mature, intelligent adults {as compared to chat rooms etc, that always first involve a/s/l?!?} can come and discuss all sorts of topics... i think its great...

~5phf

 

[TempWife]

This question so struck a chord with me today. I think I have become so sexually open online that it spills over into my "real" life sometimes. Today one of my co-workers actually said that she thought oral sex was "gross" and I looked at her in amazement because I truly didnt believe they made women like that anymore. And on the other hand if she had admitted that she loved to masturbate wearing a latex catsuit, I would have just shrugged it off.

 

[manofsteel52]

I don't feel perverted, I just feel like 99% of the population are really uptight assholes who can't be honest about their sexuality, even with themselves...

 

[Undomiel]

Well I haven't told anyway in real life that I post here, although I do discuss some issues I've read on here with my boyfriend, saying I just found it online. I'd rather people didn't know I posted here, not because I'm ashamed of it but because I just want to keep my sexual life etc mostly private from my friends. I also don't tell my boyfriend because I talk about him on this (not in a bad way!) and I'd rather he didn't read it! I just have so many questions that I've found answers to here and some other stuff makes for a good read.

 

[young_n_horny84]

I think everybody feels uncomfortable around their familes about alot of things. and because of society today, and the way it frowns down upon sex, we are forced into feeling uncomfortable with who we are around the people we shoudl be able to trust more than anybody else

 

[Eilan]

My husband knows that I post here. In fact, he lurks on occasion. He's welcome to read my posts any time he wants, and he knows it. I've not said anything here that I wouldn't say directly to him (or that he doesn't already know about). We've had lots of interesting discussions based on stuff I've read on the boards. I'm lucky to be able to share that with him.

The rest of my family would not react well if they knew about some of my sexcapades. My dad stormed out of a Christmas get-together in 2001 because I'd spent the night with my husband (this was before we were married). At the time, I was 28 and had two children (and was newly pregnant, not that HE knew that)--hardly the virginal type, but he called me a slut and left. The rest of my family's a little better, but not by much. I'm pretty sure that they didn't know that I wasn't a virgin when my ex and I got married. I don't see myself telling them all the gory details. I'm 31 years old, so my sex life isn't my family's business, anyway.

My friends--well, that's interesting. I have a pretty small social circle at the moment because I spend most of my time with my kiddies. My best friend is a 32-year-old virgin--not by choice. My other friend was divorced many years ago and threw herself into raising her kids. Another acquaintance was widowed in the 1990's; yet another seems to me to be asexual, like SpongeBob. Sometimes I really have to watch what I say because a couple of them are somewhat easily offended.

There was a time when I would have worried about what my friends and family thought about my hanging around Lit. Not anymore, though.

 

[EJFan]

i haven't told too many friends (certainly no relatives) that i post here... the reason being that i like to maintain some level of sanctity for myself and whatever advice i dispense/receive. i just feel that i would have to hold back a little more if there were people i had personal relationships with floating around. we have our own discussions and problems that we talk about at our leisure.

it has nothing to do with feeling freakish in that regard. with respect to my family, there's no way i would share any of this with them... mostly because they fall into the 99% that manofsteel referenced.

 

[Ezzy]

...I enjoy discussing sexual topics openly here and at other boards, whether it be fantasies, sex acts, likes/dislikes, porn, fetishes, etc, but I have no one to talk about this with in my daily, face-to-face life. My wife is a great woman, we are best friends, we laugh, talk and spend all of our time together, but she just has no frame of reference for this or any motivation to share in it.

In addition, the friends we have, well, it just wouldn't work as a topic with them either, though they are all smart, funny people.

I don't know, for the most part, expressing this side of me online has been fine, there are just times where it crosses over into my daily life and awkwardness abounds, making me feel as if everyone sees me as a perverted freak.

OK, just wanted to unload, thanks for listening...

I think for the most part it is the anonymity that appeals to our "hidden" (perceived perverted) nature. When you think about the rest of your life, (unless you are living a swinging lifestyle) the thought of facing the images in our own minds of couples we know as friends, fucking, sucking, fisting, taking golden showers or being into S&M or Bondage, or bestiality, anal, bi, tri, quadraphonic sex, is more than our imaginations can take.

To have to sit across the coffee table and discuss with our friends and neighbors, how we fantasize about watching our kids 3rd grade teacher, get gang raped by two competing motorcycle gangs, while looking for style comments and points from the judges doesn’t work well. We would also look at our friends in a different way, the original way could never be recaptured.

Then to think about the same conversation at the next big family BBQ, sitting there in the midst of our relations, to hear Auntie Betty say that Uncle Bob was the First to pop her anal cherry, but she really likes double penetration more than just straight anal, or hearing how your Grandpa suffered in his teenage years living on a farm, where town was twenty miles away and took two days to get to, and the only women around were his mother and his sisters, and Papa was doing them and Grandpa had to make do with two cows a goat and a Sheep called Buttercup.

Most of us (including myself and my own sweet S/O) could not face that set of thoughts in our imaginations, let alone in our realities.

So here we are, able to express to stranger, those things about our thoughts we don’t feel happy telling our lovers.

Thank goodness this place exists!

 

[Bandit58]

I've gotten so used to being open with Gil that I have to bite my tongue sometimes when we're with other people (only sometimes, because our friends know that we're a pair of DV8s ) However when I go back to NZ I feel so squished back into the little box I came out of.

My mother and kids and ex husband have NO idea that I am bisexual or that Gil and I are Master/sub. If they knew I'd had sex with women I'm sure they would faint. I'm keeping things quiet on that front mainly so it doesn't affect my contact with my 17 year old daughter, who lives with her very straight father. I wouldn't put it past him to try to forbid her to talk to me or come over for a visit.

They know I met him on the net but not what type of site. I love the Aussie thread yearly get togethers (I've been to two and there's a third planned for October) because anything and everything is so freely talked about. I remember last year a group of us sitting around a table in the local RSL talking about fisting and female ejaculation as if it was the most natural thing in the world!!

 

[Quoll]

Where else can you talk about defragging your hard drive and anal fisting all within the space of a few minutes and no one goes eeeew, ok some will go eeew, but they have probably never defragged their hard drive.
A few know I post, but only my SO knows just how open this place is.
It can make conversations quite difficult though, a friend may make a (for them ) risqué comment and then I have to bite my tongue and not tell them what is really risqué (actually not much, maybe the belgian biscuit) or not laugh out loud when they whisper that they licked their partners penis. OMG how wicked.

 

[Chi-Guy31]

Thanks for sharing, everybody, it does help to realize the importance of our special little community here, but also it helps to not feel like such a freak for initially feeling like a freak! Did that make sense?

 

[silverwhisper]

i'm accustomed to concealing parts of myself. frankly, i find it a nice seasoning to the nasty bits.

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

I can very much relate to this whole theme. I've spent my whole life hanging out with perfectionists and over-achievers...and we were always goody-two-shoes as well. Which, in a way, has been a really good thing, because I earn the trust of authority figures really easily, etc.
But, I think literotica is kindof a nice break from trying to be perfect and rather straight-laced all the time. I mean, my friends, now, we all talk to eachother about sexuality, etc., but we continue to maintain our perfect persona to most of the outside world.
As for my boyfriend, well, he knows how bad I like to be. However, he doesn't seem to be that interested in my creative naughty side that isn't entirely just about sex. I like writing my stories and having fun in the bedroom - but the last four stories I've posted he hasn't even bothered to read.
I mentioned my picture thread to him as well, and aside from a hint of mild jealousy, he didn't really seem all that interested - and he hasn't asked about it since. (But, I can't really blame him, hes had a lot of stuff going on recently...)
Anyway, thats my own whiney addition.

 

[Chi-Guy31]

Wow, you have a picture thread running here and your B/F has zero interest? I am shocked and saddened! Geez, if my wife ever decided it would be great to post pics of herself here, you can be damn sure I'd subscribe to that thread! And Lit is a great place from the supposed "perfections" of our daily persona, though I think I am starting to slip and people I know mught be catching on to what REALLY goes on in my head...

 

[silverwhisper]

dude,wait until you actually look at the pics... ;>

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

Wow, you have a picture thread running here and your B/F has zero interest? I am shocked and saddened! Geez, if my wife ever decided it would be great to post pics of herself here, you can be damn sure I'd subscribe to that thread! And Lit is a great place from the supposed "perfections" of our daily persona, though I think I am starting to slip and people I know mught be catching on to what REALLY goes on in my head...

I know - I don't like it either. You would think since hes a co-star (well, at least his penis is) in many of the pictures that he would want to see. Oh well, maybe he sees enough of me already *laughs*.
hehe, yeah, occasionally I have started to do that with my friends as well. For example, even though they've opened up some, there was pretty much dead silence as I was explaining why I thought it was so great that my boyfriend bought me a vibrator. hehe. I guess some things its best to keep to yourself.

 

[Sanitysux]

I just found this site and I think it's great. It's nice to know that there's other people in the world who have the same sort of fantasies or secret desires that I do. I've just recently started to become comfortable with them myself and
don't dare share these thoughts with my family or friends. Finding a place with other like minded people has been a real boost to my self-esteem.

 

[Chi-Guy31]

Welcome, sanitysux, have as much fun as you like here at Lit!

 

[SweetErika]

I don't have much of a problem, but that's probably because my friends are openminded and sex-positive themselves. My husband knows, we talk about things from here all of the time, and he occasionally lurks and posts. As Eilan said, he's more than welcome to read anything I've posted, PMs, emails, etc. any time he wants, and I ask before posting something that might be perceived as a violation of his privacy. I think exploring sexuality and relationships is great and everyone should be doing it, so I don't really feel like a freak for loving something that's so natural, fun, and makes me happy.

My husband did mention forums in front of my mom at Christmas, and let it slip we were members of an adult one after a long list of questions from her. She said, "What do you mean adult...like SEX???" I stepped in and said that was one topic, but it wasn't any of her business, and she could find the forums she needed with a google search. She let it go, but has mentioned she admires our healthy relationship and sexlife.

 

[phoenix1224]

If my family ever realized just how big a perv I am, I don't think that they'd be able to look me in the eye ever again...

But my friends already know how big a perv I am, and they've stuck around... So, I guess they're cool with it...

 

[Sanitysux]

Welcome, sanitysux, have as much fun as you like here at Lit!

Thanks Chi-Guy, I'm having a great time reading the erotic posts from other members. They're making me extremely jealous though, I wish I had some great sex stories to tell! ;-)

 

[rcuhljr]

Thanks Chi-Guy, I'm having a great time reading the erotic posts from other members. They're making me extremely jealous though, I wish I had some great sex stories to tell! ;-)

Amen, I need some real life fun stories