Ever avoid writing a story?

[zen83]

avoid writing a story

I am not sure avoid is the right word , it just that I have so many story ideas, I do not have time to do them justice. Here are some of my story ideas.

1. A man from our present day has been chrono-frozen for 300 years. He wakes up on a space station. He has not connection to his new present time. The story would follow his daily and romantic life. Since its set in the future, with future tech, there is room for some really out there BDSM. There could be something like the halodeck from star trek

I have an idea of a couple that seek out a sex therapist (or, could just be a regular therapist). Turns out, this straight couple, both the man and the woman is a sub. The therapist is a domme, and dominates them both. I have this mental image of this dominant woman (or male therapist) laying in the bed between them, enjoying the after sex glow.

. I always felt that super heros and mind control go hand in hand. Its like a comic book but sexier

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I was asked to do a non-con story to play to the fantasies of the F member of a couple. They liked it and it did OK ratings-wise, but I found it disturbing to write, made me very uneasy, very bleak. I did a second for them, then called it a day. No judgement on anyone, but no more like that for me.

Edited for clarity.

 

[lovecraft68]

I was asked to do a non-con story to play to the fantasies of the F member of a couple. They liked it and it did OK ratings-wise, but I found it disturbing to write, too many of my own buttons being pushed. I did a second for them, then called it a day. No judgement on anyone, but no more like that for me.

When you say push buttons, do you mean things that upset you or things you found exciting that disturbed you that you reacted that way? I've dealt with both over the last few years

 

[AngstIgnored]

Not sure this is really the same thing but I have six different stories sitting waiting for me to post. The problem with each of them, all about 85% finished or thereabouts, is they started out as basic story ideas.

Somewhere along the way things from my own life crept into the narrative for each and they became at least partially autobiographical. Suddenly I didn’t want to post any of them. At least not without a lot more editing and pruning.

I’m trying to figure out how to keep my own experiences out of the fiction writing so this does not keep happening and making me avoid posting any of them.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Actually, there is a story I'm working on - I can write it, but I'm going to have serious doubts about publishing it. It's definitely not for Lit. It seems really dark - non-consensual BSDM, murder, the sexual things convicts force on other convicts. Yet I still keep working on it.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

When you say push buttons, do you mean things that upset you or things you found exciting that disturbed you that you reacted that way? I've dealt with both over the last few years

Thank you for pointing that out. I was very unhappy, very bleak resonance.

 

[XerXesXu]

Not sure this is really the same thing but I have six different stories sitting waiting for me to post. The problem with each of them, all about 85% finished or thereabouts, is they started out as basic story ideas.

Somewhere along the way things from my own life crept into the narrative for each and they became at least partially autobiographical. Suddenly I didn’t want to post any of them. At least not without a lot more editing and pruning.

I’m trying to figure out how to keep my own experiences out of the fiction writing so this does not keep happening and making me avoid posting any of them.

Could you indicate why? Is it that you may be identified (someone may know who you are), or that you don't want to emotionally identify with the story?

Most peoples autobiography enormously informs what they write, indeed people are often advised to write what they know. Almost everything I've submitted to Lit has been informed by and reflected my biography, but it brings back pleasant memories. Other stuff is much less so influenced, and the reward is in the creativity rather than the memories.

 

[Payne_Hall]

Desade's work was his time periods equivalent to over the top shock value, it was as if he were trying to see how extreme he could be, but for its time, its hard to top. The movie Salo is based on his work and...just pass on it, trust me. '

What’s funny is I wrote a sadism story spinoff that was centered around the concept and theme of Salos. The three circles of hell kind of thing, with all kinds of Dante allusions, except without the scat and tragedy. I loved the concept of Dante mixed with De Sade, so I just kept that theme mostly.

Thank you for pointing that out. I was very unhappy, very bleak resonance.

But at the same time I absolutely feel this. I love writing Noncon and I love a darker atmosphere. Part of the problem I have sometimes is losing interest when something doesn’t have a dark enough undercurrent for me. But the weird thing for me is I think it would kill me if there wasn’t a “happily ever after” of some kind. I can write hard sadism absolutely, but the guy has to end up with the girl if I do. It’s almost like my mind’s singular safety switch. Like that’s the line I can’t cross.

A friend teases me that I can write blood play but can’t write a one night stand all the time.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I love writing Noncon and I love a darker atmosphere. Part of the problem I have sometimes is losing interest when something doesn’t have a dark enough undercurrent for me. But the weird thing for me is I think it would kill me if there wasn’t a “happily ever after” of some kind. I can write hard sadism absolutely, but the guy has to end up with the girl if I do. It’s almost like my mind’s singular safety switch. Like that’s the line I can’t cross.

A friend teases me that I can write blood play but can’t write a one night stand all the time.

Well, in my case, writing it made me feel bad.

They're not paying me enough here in Lit to make myself feel bad. YMMV, of course.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Deleted - wrong thread.

 

[AngstIgnored]

Could you indicate why? Is it that you may be identified (someone may know who you are), or that you don't want to emotionally identify with the story?

I think it has to do with me not achieving the goal I had in mind originally when I began the story. It's not a concern over being identified, as my account name doesn't really identify in any specific way.

The issue is that I intend to write about a particular topic then it somehow morphs while I'm filling out the story from a short synopsis or outline to a full length tale. Somewhere in those details, I dig into my own past and it sort of takes over the plot and the personalities of the characters, even when I'm trying not to do that.

I realize a lot of people write loosely-veiled or openly autobiographical work in fictional stories, regardless of genre. I may do that myself eventually, but when I set out to write something that has literally nothing to do with my own past and it creeps in there anyway, it bugs me. I'm not sure why that's a hangup for me. I'm a bit of an impasse about this at the moment, all the same.

 

[YDB95]

I have had a few ideas that I just couldn't bring myself to post here, which means I never bothered writing them. My standard is, if my mother ever discovered my stories, would I still be able to look her in the eye? If it doesn't pass that test, I don't post it here.

 

[Payne_Hall]

Well, in my case, writing it made me feel bad.

They're not paying me enough here in Lit to make myself feel bad. YMMV, of course.

Too true , which is why I don’t write anything with a truly sad ending. I can’t do it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Well, in my case, writing it made me feel bad.

They're not paying me enough here in Lit to make myself feel bad. YMMV, of course.

I'm with you. I have strong feelings about non con-as I make clear here-but I've written some dub con stories and that's a fine line to do them right, to mix enough reluctance to tick somewhat of a NC vibe, but enough consent to take the edge off it being NC.

A couple times over the years I slipped over that line. Both times I was in kind of a dark place mentally and my fictional character paid for it. I had a story booted from amazon because it was too extreme. And that was after I'd gone back to the original and wrote a quick epilogue to specifically enforce to the reader that the MC did in fact enjoy what happened.

Sometimes it disturbs me how easily I can write violent degrading sex scenes, even with enough consent. Its like being too good at something you'd rather not be good at.

Its kind of the point I was making in my initial post, sometimes its not worth dancing with your own demons.

 

[XerXesXu]

The issue is that I intend to write about a particular topic then it somehow morphs while I'm filling out the story from a short synopsis or outline to a full length tale. Somewhere in those details, I dig into my own past and it sort of takes over the plot and the personalities of the characters, even when I'm trying not to do that.

I've sometimes seen people say that the personalities of their characters can take over, though it's usually in a positive context.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Sometimes it disturbs me how easily I can write violent degrading sex scenes, even with enough consent. Its like being too good at something you'd rather not be good at.

Its kind of the point I was making in my initial post, sometimes its not worth dancing with your own demons.

Precisely.

 

[Acktion]

It's been quite a while since I actually managed to finish anything. Mostly, because of health issues, I admit. But, quite a bit because the overwhelming majority of my stuff had a root somewhere in reality as I'd somehow experienced it that was then "prettied up" and fictionalized.

As an example, under another pseudonym, I'd taken to writing something along the lines of "memoirs." The first one, of my first actual PIV experience, went reasonably well. The second one, my first group experience went pretty well too. Oh, they didn't do well in the voting, weren't well-received, because they were very much "the other side of the titillation," with a lot of the awkwardness of trying to figure things out for the first time. But, I was good with that because it was what I was exploring at that time. Art doesn't always have to make one feel good, so long as it makes them feel something after all. And some philosophical questions can't be asked if you're too worried about being popular.

Then I hit the wall. The next in the series was going to be my inception into the world of BDSM and kink. The problem is... it was just about the worst examples of how NOT to do things imaginable. Oh, nobody died. There is that. And I often think when I read some tragic tale of riskier behaviors going wrong in the papers that in my earlier years, it was very much "there but by the grace of God, could have gone I." I didn't have the first idea that what we were actually doing was reinventing the wheel when it came to the 24/7 M/s TPE. Hell, I hadn't even heard the labels for it, much less had any idea how to do it right.

And it stemmed from a great deal of anger, bitterness, pettiness, and "payback." All these decades later, I can see that it was actually borderline abusive. Not so much physically as mentally and emotionally. And I can see that the justifications I had hidden behind that she consented were paper-thin when her "no" only turned to "yes" after I would "threaten" to end the relationship and start to walk away.

The wall I hit there was that I was incredibly embarrassed and ashamed that I'd ever been like that, done those things. Although... it may be more accurate to say I'm embarrassed I did those things wrongly and for those wrong reasons when doing the same sorts of things from a place of love and "meeting her needs" later (once I understood more) doesn't bother me at all. And I am interminably glad that she retained enough of her soul to give me the final heave-ho after only nineteen months to give us both a chance to grow past the idiots we were.

As another example, after my wife died, I took it in my head to write some of our times together, our life together. Even started off several times across late December of 17 and January of 18. But, it was just too painful. I just wasn't strong enough to look into that crucible of pain too deeply.

So, while A Final Valentine did end up having some aspects of us, with a lot of her in both the ghost/dream and the young girl, it wasn't anywhere near where I was initially trying to go with it. I just had to back it off to avoid damaging myself, perhaps irreparably.

A lot of others that never even made it to completion, much less crossed Laurel's desk. A lot. Thousands, I'm sure. Possibly tens of thousands that I turned my back on for one reason or another. Some purely fictional that ended brushing my soul on a wound I hadn't even realized I had. To be abandoned, only to try to percolate up under another guise, wearing the mask of a completely different tale in a whole different sub-genre. And I realized I was playing whack-a-mole with the darkness inside me again.

At times, I wonder if I'll ever manage to get anything new penned. Perhaps not. Some, as you say, come too close to opening the carefully crafted cage door on parts of me I'd rather not ever let see the light of day. Others... Hell, even just this post has gone on so long I'm already struggling to remember what the point even was that I started with as my hands and my mind slow down.

Oh, right.

I get it. At least I think I do. That evil, despicable, sadistic muse that keeps tormenting you with a story you really don't want to write and keeps trying to slip it around through another crack as "the monkey brain" swings from the bars of its cage. Attempting to turn you down a darker path that you'd intentionally turned your back on already.

 

[HordHolm]

Yes. I have one now which has just gone into the bin after the second attempt to write it: Pretty Anthropology Researcher visits Tribe Who Practice Free Love. Which sounds not very problematic but describing the interactions with the indigenous people was actually incredibly hard. No matter what I did I couldn't get them not to be stereotypical, and whilst I find Little Big Man quite a fun film I don't want to write the 'noble savage' kind of characters. Basically, whatever I did when not describing the sex felt patronising to the fictional tribe (the sex bit, the woman being shared around the tribe, men and women, was the easy bit; mildly sub, fun without being too serious).

The other problem I had was not actually having lived as any kind of forest dwelling nomad or Siberian or Mongolian pastoralist my knowledge of the lifestyle was unconvincing. All in all, enough to leave it in my head and imagine my s/o as the anthropology doctoral student on the field research trip encountering more than she expected.

 

[VeeMat]

I've been stuck on the last paragraph or so for the last two weeks. I can picture the scene and even recite it in my head, but it fails to make it to paper. It's a stop and go situation where I find myself doing anything but finish the story. Going to give it one last try before moving on to the next idea floating in my thoughts.

 

[KeithD]

I've been stuck on the last paragraph or so for the last two weeks. I can picture the scene and even recite it in my head, but it fails to make it to paper. It's a stop and go situation where I find myself doing anything but finish the story. Going to give it one last try before moving on to the next idea floating in my thoughts.

Sure, move on to a new one. The first thing you know, your muse will be sending you back with a determination to close the one now giving you trouble.

 

[jaF0]

I'm avoiding writing pretty much anything right now.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

The reason I joined this site about a year and a half ago was to write a story for a sort of a 'what if' scenario I had rattling around in my head. But then chickened out when it came to putting pen to paper.

I've written a few stories since, but I kept obsessing about this peculiar story. Recently, I finally got the courage to just start writing it, and it was amazing how quickly it just flowed out of me. A 6.5k word length story I wrote in a morning at my office desk (don't tell my boss!). I belted it out and yolo'd and hit submit. I didn't have the heart to re-read it.

I'm sure it has more than a few errors in it, but it didn't do too bad in the ratings, and honestly I was really touched by the comments I received for it.

The reason I didn't want to write it was that it involved a trans woman, and I am neither trans, nor do I know any trans people to draw any experience from. Because of that, I always felt it was really an off-limit topic for me. It was really the only time I ever had a story in me that just poured out once I got to it. Most are an agonizing grind!

 

[Duleigh]

To be honest there's no stories in my head (right now) that I wouldn't want to write. I've killed a character that I loved and that's never going to happen again. But there are plenty of events that have happened and are taking up space in my head that I will never write, but that's completely different from a story.

If I sat down and wrote the story of my childhood two things would happen. 1. The average reader response would be "I want my money back" and 2. both of my sisters would spend the rest of my life telling me that it didn't happen that way.

 

[Comshaw]

I have a story drifting around in my head that keeps resurfacing, which usually is a sign of the muse saying we need to write this thing.

But I'm not someone who can write just anything I have to feel it. When I'm writing regular smut all I might feel is getting a little um...worked up. If I'm writing something more serious with some conflict I at times tend to be a little more serious and not just when writing, but that mindset stays until I'm done with the story.

I joke and refer to myself as a method writer, just as some actors live their role, my life can be a reflection of what I'm working on.

Which brings me to when I write something dark. I don't mean as in supernatural, but something with depressing storylines, broken characters and fucked up real life shit.

When I write these I'm often pulled down the rabbit hole and the story gets its poignancy from me reliving my own dark times in my younger years and I slip into a dark place in my head and it shows in my daily life. Near the end of my SWB series, when I'd hit the addiction and most depressing chapters my wife told me I had one more week to finish or she was going to force me into counseling. That's not a joke.

So this piece falls into it. Long story short its a look at what I would perceive parent/adult child incest as being without our fun frolicking sexy fantasy elements, but real life something is off here...in this case the mother used sex to manipulate and control her son from a young age(18 of course the pay platforms have an 18 rule but of course in real life we know this shit starts sooner) The mother is a an alcoholic mess who was abused and used by the sons father, and the son became her release, she made him love and need her in every way.

The story as I vision it is told in flashbacks during therapy sessions as the son, now married and having not seen his mother in a couple years, is trying to cope with his past(it also ended when his wife caught him with his mother, drama...always drama) so he's struggling to save his marriage as well by getting help.

So the point is my muse has thing scratching in my head, we all know that feeling, not just oh, good idea, but that NEED to write this thing. On the other side, my childhood was abusive, I saw my mother abused, dark matter of any kind brings all that crap back into my head and this would do it even more because of personal trauma in the "family unit"

Just curious is anyone else has dealt with struggling to avoid or push a story back for whatever reason and if you did, did it work, or did you cave and ultimately write as catharsis to get rid of the damn idea, as just the glimpses I keep getting of it are already stirring the dysfunction pot in my mind.

I understand this, viscerally, intimately. I've had the same feelings about a story bouncing around in my head. "I have to write it", not because I think it's a good story, or because I think it will do well IF I publish it, but because my inner me is demanding I drag it into the light.

I won't tell you particulars, not because I'm ashamed of them, or because it's too painful, but because I don't want to get into comparisons, don't want to sound like "mine was worse than yours!". Suffice it to say my family was completely dysfunctional and engaged in all kinds (physical, mental, sexual) unacceptable behavior, I served a year in a war, I'm a recovering alcoholic. That should be enough to let you know I have a bunch of demons bouncing around in my head.

I found a while ago that I could fight back, I could drag them fuckers into the light. If I didn't let them sit in my head in the dark, feeding on me and stuffing fear and loathing back into the places they devoured, it helped me heal. Sometimes that was putting it down on a page. Maybe that muse that helps me come up with an entertaining storyline also knows when something needs to be put down just to be rid of it, to watch those black, slimy feeling spill out onto the page and melt away.

That's me, that's how I feel and what I do. I would never presume to try to tell you how you should do yours. Each of us have the nasty little fuckers sitting in our heads, and we each need to learn how to deal with them.

Comshaw

 

[gunhilltrain]

I understand this, viscerally, intimately. I've had the same feelings about a story bouncing around in my head. "I have to write it", not because I think it's a good story, or because I think it will do well IF I publish it, but because my inner me is demanding I drag it into the light.

I won't tell you particulars, not because I'm ashamed of them, or because it's too painful, but because I don't want to get into comparisons, don't want to sound like "mine was worse than yours!". Suffice it to say my family was completely dysfunctional and engaged in all kinds (physical, mental, sexual) unacceptable behavior, I served a year in a war, I'm a recovering alcoholic. That should be enough to let you know I have a bunch of demons bouncing around in my head.

I found a while ago that I could fight back, I could drag them fuckers into the light. If I didn't let them sit in my head in the dark, feeding on me and stuffing fear and loathing back into the places they devoured, it helped me heal. Sometimes that was putting it down on a page. Maybe that muse that helps me come up with an entertaining storyline also knows when something needs to be put down just to be rid of it, to watch those black, slimy feeling spill out onto the page and melt away.

That's me, that's how I feel and what I do. I would never presume to try to tell you how you should do yours. Each of us have the nasty little fuckers sitting in our heads, and we each need to learn how to deal with them.

Comshaw

If you think it would be best to get it out in fictional form, then that is a good thing. Some writers have fictionalized their pasts. (Philip Roth and Erica Jong come to mind.) Others, like Mary Karr, went to direct autobiographies - three of them I think. She changed the name of her hometown, but it was found out anyway by many people.

I mostly don't write about the more painful aspects of my past, even in fiction, although I have used many real-life settings.