Ethical Sluthood

[Calamity Jane]

Not all of them. I don't believe we've said hello, CJ. Hi. What part of the midwest are you from?

Hi.

I'm 'from' Kansas, and living in Missouri.

 

[Peregrinator]

Hi.

I'm 'from' Kansas, and living in Missouri.

Those are okay with me...I don't believe I've ever been to KS, and I had a great time in St Louis when I was there for a couple weeks. Spent an hour having a body language conversation with a snow leopard in the zoo. I'm not actually all that prejudiced, I guess, against the midwest...it just isn't home, that's all. C'mon up to New England some time. I'll show you around.

 

[curious2c]

I'm a slut...but what are 'ethical sluts'?



Are 'ethical' those real hot sluts that dress almost nakedly in public places and let members of the opposite sex play with their bodies in front of others too?




Just....heh heh


curious

 

[Calamity Jane]

Those are okay with me...I don't believe I've ever been to KS, and I had a great time in St Louis when I was there for a couple weeks. Spent an hour having a body language conversation with a snow leopard in the zoo. I'm not actually all that prejudiced, I guess, against the midwest...it just isn't home, that's all. C'mon up to New England some time. I'll show you around.

*whew* I'm so glad you approve. LOL

 

[Peregrinator]

*whew* I'm so glad you approve. LOL

Yeah, I know; my approval is the required seal for all human behavior. It's a big responsibility.


Curious, you're going to have to read the book. You might begin by actually reading the whole thread.

 

[mercy's_grace]

Certainly not all midwesterners. Many apologies. I actually have relative in Kansas City. Very fine people!

Hey!.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

For those who haven't read the book, save your money. The Isley Brothers said it all a long time ago:


It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.
It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.

If you want me to love you, maybe I will.
Believe me woman, it ain't no big deal.
You need love now, just as bad as I do.
Make's me no difference now, who you give your thing to.

It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.
It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.

It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.
It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.

I'm not trying to run your life,I know you wanna do what's right.
Give your love now, to whoever you choose.
How can you love, with the stuff you use now.

It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.
It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.

It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.
It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you, who to sock it to.

 

[curious2c]

Yeah, I know; my approval is the required seal for all human behavior. It's a big responsibility.


Curious, you're going to have to read the book. You might begin by actually reading the whole thread.

I did read the whole thread...I guess my sense of humor didn't fly with you...lighten up just a tad...you'll feel so much better.

 

[Peregrinator]

I did read the whole thread...I guess my sense of humor didn't fly with you...lighten up just a tad...you'll feel so much better.

Apologies, my friend. I was tired and have lately seen a lot of...adolescent spillover from other boards in the wee hours. Too quick to judge, I was.

 

[sexy-girl]

sometimes i wonder if i'm the only non-slut on literotica

 

[Peregrinator]

sometimes i wonder if i'm the only non-slut on literotica

I rather doubt it, but I suppose it depends on how you define "slut." What does the word mean to you?

 

[ntp]

more rules.

.....

 

[ExistentialLuv]

My "ethical slut" rules:

Keep your primary relationship perfectly healthy. Issues, unspoken or not, make it easier for an outside dalliance to turn into something that leaves the bounds of what's OK, and threatens to damage the relationship.

Be honest with yourself and your partners. It's all well and good if you and your primary partner have the issues all figured out, but you have a responsibility to not play with someone else whom you suspect isn't going to be able to accept the arrangement.

Be willing to give up a secondary relationship to save your primary one. Remember it's your primary relationship for a reason.

Almost all people, even the most enlightened, have deep seated reflexive reactions to things like feeling their partnership is at risk. Be scrupulously considerate about not tweaking those reflexes.

Open communication, obviously, blah blah blah. If you're keeping secrets about what's going on, you're doing it wrong.

ntp.

Very well put. I have made some pretty stupid choses in Polly's and my relationship before I finally figured this out. Through patients, understanding and a unconditonal love we have made it to where we are today. We are starting to open up and explore and today my ethics were put to the test. I actually surprised myself and feel real good about the chose I made. Not the same one I would have made a 1 1/2 ago. I put her and our love above all else and we talked it over keeping no secrets. Communication is a major key....

 

[sexy-girl]

I rather doubt it, but I suppose it depends on how you define "slut." What does the word mean to you?

i'm not sure how i define the word exactly ... it tends to depend on who is using it


but it doesn't seem to sit well or apply when i use it about myself

 

[p_p_man]

I rather doubt it, but I suppose it depends on how you define "slut." What does the word mean to you?

I've jumped in here...

But to me a slut is someone who openly loves the sexual act, with no feelings of guilt and with no sexual hangups.

I've heard 'slut' being used as an insult...when it should be accolade...

ppman

 

[crazybbwgirl]

I embraced my sluthood years ago. Now to work on the ethical part.................

 

[Beadishly]

Glad to find this thread here. (I'm new. Thread is old but not out of date.)

The book was important to me in figuring out my relationship values and some ways of negotiating and achieving what I might consider more ideal than traditional monogamy or traditional sluttery.

When I first read the book, the term "polyamory" hadn't been coined and promulgated yet. Even now, after years of easy access to info and various perspectives on ethical nonmonogamy, I think the book (now revised, updated) still holds up. I returned to reread it after the breakup of my last longterm relationship.

One thing I hope to get right, to do effectively, next time around is timing. In an ostensibly open relationship, we stayed in the velcro stage a very very very long time. By the time I felt/acknowledged a need for something else, it would have been damaging to the primary relationship because of nonsexual intimacy and trust issues in that phase. My partner would not have cared if it was "just" about sex, but at that time I didn't think it possible to not have other fallout and risk; I preferred to work through the phase rather than give us more challenge. So...here's hoping for wisdom, to go along with the ethics and sluttery.

 

[Queersetti]

There's a museum piece.

 

[raindancer]

Aww. Never. SLG. Sexy-girl.
I miss you ladies.

 

[Lancecastor]

I've always had a secret LitCrush on Never.

ooops

 

[Queersetti]

I've always had a secret LitCrush on Never.

ooops

Ironically, she used to make crush videos, and all the bugs were named "Lance".

 

[Lancecastor]

Ironically, she used to make crush videos, and all the bugs were named "Lance".

Not your best work; busy summer?

 

[Queersetti]

Not your best work; busy summer?

Still a little dopey from the knee replacement.

All those years, people said "wear pads" but did I listen?

 

[Lancecastor]

Still a little dopey from the knee replacement.

All those years, people said "wear pads" but did I listen?

Hockey?

 

[Queersetti]

Hockey?

Full contact Bocce.