Celebacy (by choice)

[liqueur]

I'm considering embarking on an extended period of celebacy. There are a whole nest of reasons, all tangled together, but first let me clarify what this is not about:

1. It's not about celebacy as a kink, e.g., with cock cages and keyholders and all that.
2. It's not about abstinence from pleasure. I have no intention of denying myself solo pleasures, as the occasion arises.

What this is about, as nearly as I can express it so far, is making space— mentally, physically, and yes, spiritually— for so many other things in my life that I haven't made room for.

I’m not young, and my libido is waning. I recognize that this makes possible a choice I would have viewed with horror 10 years ago. But it's not the reason for this (potential) choice. The fact is that over the last eight or ten years, I have debauched myself as thoroughly as possible for an older and somewhat shy person in a quite rural and very conservative area. I've lived my dream of sluthood.

And I think perhaps I'm done with that.

I'm not posting this to hear a lot of “to each their own.” I'm hoping to hear from others who have made a similar choice, and how it worked out for them. Or from others who are also thinking about trying it.

 

[Britva415]

I don't know but I'm taking a wild guess that there isn't a partner who would be deprived, in the picture here, and what you're proposing is to just not pursue anyone.

I'm in this situation. I go months at a time without pursuing anyone, for reasons which sound similar to yours. I wouldn't call it "celibacy" though, because that implies to me that if something came up, I'd turn down opportunities originally interest from others.

I mean, I still might, if I didn't "like them that way" or if their expectations and boundaries didn't match mine, but it wouldn't be because I'm committed to the celibacy decision.

Is that how you see it too? Or would you turn someone down if they were otherwise an okay partner candidate and they were the one making the effort?

 

[ericalauren]

I'm considering embarking on an extended period of celebacy. There are a whole nest of reasons, all tangled together, but first let me clarify what this is not about:

1. It's not about celebacy as a kink, e.g., with cock cages and keyholders and all that.
2. It's not about abstinence from pleasure. I have no intention of denying myself solo pleasures, as the occasion arises.

What this is about, as nearly as I can express it so far, is making space— mentally, physically, and yes, spiritually— for so many other things in my life that I haven't made room for.

I’m not young, and my libido is waning. I recognize that this makes possible a choice I would have viewed with horror 10 years ago. But it's not the reason for this (potential) choice. The fact is that over the last eight or ten years, I have debauched myself as thoroughly as possible for an older and somewhat shy person in a quite rural and very conservative area. I've lived my dream of sluthood.

And I think perhaps I'm done with that.

I'm not posting this to hear a lot of “to each their own.” I'm hoping to hear from others who have made a similar choice, and how it worked out for them. Or from others who are also thinking about trying it.

I'm 38 years old and I've never had any type of sex. It's not because I've chosen celibacy, though. I'm asexual and I just don't want to have sex. Maybe just try out celibacy and see if it works for you?

 

[liqueur]

I don't know but I'm taking a wild guess that there isn't a partner who would be deprived in the picture here

That is correct

I go months at a time without pursuing anyone, for reasons which sound similar to yours. I wouldn't call it "celibacy" though, because that implies to me that if something came up, I'd turn down opportunities...

Assuming I go ahead with this path— and I'm leaning further and further on that direction—them I would turn them down (assuming, also, that in the moment, I have the strength of purpose to do so). I'm seeing this as a discipline— not unlike meditation, in it own way.

would you turn someone down if they were otherwise an okay partner candidate and they were the one making the effort?

Again, assuming I go ahead: the only way I wouldn't turn them down would be in a moment of weakness, or if life circumstances change and a committed relationship comes into the picture. Given my age and other factors, the latter seems very unlikely.

 

[liqueur]

I'm 38 years old and I've never had any type of sex. It's not because I've chosen celibacy, though. I'm asexual and I just don't want to have sex. Maybe just try out celibacy and see if it works for you?

Thank you.