Equality in relationships

[Calamity Jane]

LOL - makes me want to barf. But thanks, PCG.

Does that mean you're not gonna call me up and counsel me to orgasm?

Gord, the biggest problem I can see with seeking 'equality' is that you end up keeping score. "I did the dishes last night, so tonight's your turn"... "I initiated sex last time, you need to ask for it if you want it"... that breeds conflict.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[sexy-girl]

well said about the keeping score thing PCG ... sometimes it can even more subtle things people keep score on

everyone usually brings something different to a relationship your partner might not beable to bring the same things you do but as long as they give you what you need and you give them what they need as a whole then that is what is important

 

[Aquila]

There will always be a submissive and a dominant, there (in my humble opinion) can be no other way. one person has to have the majority of the decision making power.

I.E.

You discuss issues, both present arguments. but one makes the final decision..

Relationships that try to make everything 50 50 just dont work as far as I have seen.. Now this might not neccesarily be the case, maybe it does work for someone.. I have just never seen it.

as to petty disputes, yes there will always be some sort of dispute at some time. a relationship with absolutley no arguments is either because the two people in it are clones of one another, or one person is too cowed to speak up what they think. (again my opinion)

Being "Alpha" also in my opinion changes from relationship to relationship.. in one relationship you may be alpha, and another you may not be. it all depends on the personality mix.

Also being "Alpha" may depend on the situation..

For instance, I have absolutly no skill at decorating my house... so long as its clean and I can sit somewhere and sleep somewhere I don't care whats in it.. so at the times I had someone living with me, the choice of decor was of no concern to me, and the only thing I really had to say about it was how much I was willing to contribute monetarily, and even then so long as the money was available without being spoken for by bills I didnt get to say how much of that amount was spent.

Conversly, the kitchen is/was my domain, inside it I ruled, my knives went certain places, my spice racks didnt get touched., the type of food bought and what was coocked was my decision, etc. thats just how it was.

...damn that was a lame example, but I think I made my point.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Does that mean you're not gonna call me up and counsel me to orgasm?

Gord, the biggest problem I can see with seeking 'equality' is that you end up keeping score. "I did the dishes last night, so tonight's your turn"... "I initiated sex last time, you need to ask for it if you want it"... that breeds conflict.

It's so annoying when women in my classes start masturbating during my lectures....

As for the scorekeeping matter: it sounds like an ideal relationship for a couple of Libertarians.

 

[Calamity Jane]

It's so annoying when women in my classes start masturbating during my lectures....

I'll make a mental note to sit in the back of the class so I don't annoy you.

As for the scorekeeping matter: it sounds like an ideal relationship for a couple of Libertarians.

LOL

 

[sufisaint]

Just reading through this thread I think some of it is a symantical problem. When you say an equal relationship, I think we really mean to say an equitable relationship. Equitable meaning its fair to both parties not 50%/50%. You can have a dominant person and a submisive person in a relationship (not the sexual type, I am talking pesonality) which may be 75%/25% but if that what the submissive and dominant person agree on, makes them happy than its an equitable. But I still think even equitable relationships are rare.