Endless Ends

[Apisto42]

The ethics of fantasizing.

This came up in conversation the other day and I'm still mulling it over. Specifically, fantasying about an ex.

It could fall under the umbrella of fantasying about strangers or celebrities, which, as long as one is not moving into the stalker category, seems . . . not too problematic.

I suppose, it might depend on the terms the relationship ended.

Amicable. A general moving on due to the possibilities being exhausted. Then, possibly not an issue.

But, what about relationships that haven't ended on those terms? What are the ethics of fantasizing about someone who might actively not want to be . . . an object of affection?

That situation seems more questionable.

True, strangers or celebrities might not want to be fantasized about, either, but - previous partners are people you know/have known. There is a relationship there. You would have intimate knowledge, and more of an ethical obligation.

Is this too fastidious a line of thinking?

I'm not sure . . . .


S'okay. I live in a state of perpetual confusion.

Hm. I have fantasized to a memory of particularly good sex with an ex. It’s my memory.

Maybe not what you’re talking about though. I did make a comment a couple weeks ago that it kinda gave me the ick to fantasize about celebrities so with that acknowledgement:

If you had a sexual relationship in the past, I do not see any problem with an occasional fantasy (though I throughly appreciate @AngelicaS1780 points). We’re human, with memories. It’s okay to remember good things, exciting things and be turned on/grateful/happy.

It’s actually helpful in some ways to fantasize about different endings to examine how you might have done things better with the experience you’ve gained since that relationship ended.

 

[chris_ss]

The ethics of fantasizing.

This came up in conversation the other day and I'm still mulling it over. Specifically, fantasying about an ex.

I did this, not recently, but many times before, especially after a sad break up. It's not something I am proud of, but I don't see something I would be ashamed either.

I am assuming that question is to fantasize by just yourself, we would all accept that sharing it with someone else is insane and totally off the table.

But then, first, that's kind of a consoling for myself by remembering happy moments with someone. Second, those memories belongs to me as much as the other person. So, who can take them away from me?

Finally, I don't feel like doing it, if I know/find out that she is with someone else. Not because I forbid myself due to some ethical principals, but I just don't feel like anymore. In time, we grow into this mindset where past is past I guess.

The other angle is a black mirror episode that some may recall about this matter, but I will not get into that, since it is a bit ugly.