Endless Curiosity

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

After reading everyone else's responses I see that I'm handling this type of thing wrong!

Part of the problem is that I'm a fixer. I like to take a problem apart, look at all the possible angles and outcome, and put it back together all shiny new and improved. Normally I don't get caught up in people's whine, but...there is one particular family member where I just continue to get sucked in. Maddening, and pointless, and I'm not sure why I can't break free. Guilt, maybe? We shared an unpleasant childhood. I've moved on, but they've never quite managed....

It is so incredibly draining, not to mention exhausting.

Yeah, I know. I am an idiot.

You aren't an idiot, and your reaction is natural for someone you feel an affinity with. You just need to draw the line a little sooner, probably. Spending forever agonizing over someone else's problems isn't healthy for you, but maybe neither is ignoring them. Maybe you should try my approach of offering a few helpful solutions and moving on

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

LOL! So that's why I occasionally get a "sucks to be you" response!

Occasionally?

 

[Endless_Night]

When you get on an airplane, they tell you in their emergency oxygen-mask shpiel "If you are traveling with someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person."

I'm of no use to anyone if I'm not in decent shape myself. I used to think this was selfish. Now I know it's self-care. Big difference.

And, in my experience, other people must "fix" themselves. I can only fix myself. This I've come to learn the hard way, over decades of banging my head against brick walls, and, like you mentioned EN, exhausting myself.

You are totally correct, and I know this. Honestly, I've been to the end on this situation for some time. I just can't quite seem to make that final leap.

It will come eventually.

 

[Endless_Night]

You aren't an idiot, and your reaction is natural for someone you feel an affinity with. You just need to draw the line a little sooner, probably. Spending forever agonizing over someone else's problems isn't healthy for you, but maybe neither is ignoring them. Maybe you should try my approach of offering a few helpful solutions and moving on

Sadly this has been going on for a decade. Nothing I say makes any difference. At this point, it's clearly my problem, not theirs. *sigh*

Occasionally?

Hahahaha.

 

[Endless_Night]

Thank you, darlin. I must admit that Endless_Night is the brainchild behind the thread. "She made me do it!" She's also the source of today's question, so kisses for EN.

OMG! I just saw that you outed me!

I am much better at behind the scenes than front and center. You thread curate with a style I could only aspire to.

 

[ViciousTease]

OMG! I just saw that you outed me!

I am much better at behind the scenes than front and center. You thread curate with a style I could only aspire to.

Just giving credit where credit is due, love. I would never have done this without proper ... ahem ... motivation. So, thank you. I'm enjoying it immensely.

A word on outting: I would not/will not give the source of any Lit related questions, so if any of you have a burning topic in mind please feel free to send it.

 

[Trekka]

You are totally correct, and I know this. Honestly, I've been to the end on this situation for some time. I just can't quite seem to make that final leap.

It will come eventually.

Detach with love

It doesn't necessarily have to be as dramatic as "making a final leap." It could be as simple as not answering the phone, just one time, to try it out and see how you feel.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Just giving credit where credit is due, love. I would never have done this without proper ... ahem ... motivation. So, thank you. I'm enjoying it immensely.

A word on outting: I would not/will not give the source of any Lit related questions, so if any of you have a burning topic in mind please feel free to send it.

phew!
For a second there, I was worried you'd out me about the question I had about fisting...

I dodged a bullet, yes?

 

[Trekka]

phew!
For a second there, I was worried you'd out me about the question I had about fisting...

I dodged a bullet, yes?

Who says you're the only one to ask about fisting?

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Who says you're the only one to ask about fisting?

LOL!!!!

 

[ydahecnot]

Is this another Litiquette thread? Nothing wrong with that, of course.

 

[just4friends]

LOL!!!!

Hmmm fisting who, how, when, where, ... What and why are obvious
But... Back to the thread topic
Since outing someone would be bad

 

[ViciousTease]

phew!
For a second there, I was worried you'd out me about the question I had about fisting...

I dodged a bullet, yes?

Who says you're the only one to ask about fisting?

I'm amused that you've both assumed it's not already on MY list of burning topics.

Is this another Litiquette thread? Nothing wrong with that, of course.

It is similar, but not meant to replace the esteemed Chained one. I admit, I'm hoping he will join in the conversation here just as I intend to continue participating there.

It's just a chance to voice questions from the female perspective. We are curious, too.

 

[ydahecnot]

It's all moot; when I think fisting, I think Roo, so it would have been obvious, outing or no.

 

[*Twisted*]

Great new thread VT!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Is this another Litiquette thread? Nothing wrong with that, of course.

All threads have their own spin and attract certain litsters.
I personally love the discourse that Chained, clowns and now VT are creating.

 

[ydahecnot]

Oh yes, the intercourse is always fun

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

It's all moot; when I think fisting, I think Roo, so it would have been obvious, outing or no.

 

[JennyNo1]

Just dropping by to congratulate our own VT for a great new thread - we needed a place to discuss ideas and situations intelligently. Others seem to inevitably deteriorate into a silly mess at the hands of highjackers. I'm finding it really interesting reading people's responses; I haven't had anything to contribute yet, but you know I will eventually!

Thank you, darlin. I must admit that Endless_Night is the brainchild behind the thread. "She made me do it!" She's also the source of today's question, so kisses for EN.

(Speaking of questions, if any of you have a topic you'd like to see discussed, shoot me a PM.)
*snip*

OMG! I just saw that you outed me!

I am much better at behind the scenes than front and center. You thread curate with a style I could only aspire to.

I had no doubt this was the case when I saw the thread title!

 

[ViciousTease]

Just dropping by to congratulate our own VT for a great new thread - we needed a place to discuss ideas and situations intelligently. Others seem to inevitably deteriorate into a silly mess at the hands of highjackers. I'm finding it really interesting reading people's responses; I haven't had anything to contribute yet, but you know I will eventually!

I had no doubt this was the case when I saw the thread title!

Thanks, Jenny! I look forward to your contributions.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Thanks, Jenny! I look forward to your contributions.

As do I. I love seeing what Jenny has to say.

 

[ViciousTease]

How do you deal with trolls, are even people who just plain don’t like you. Do you ignore them? Put them on ignore? Throw down and get personal? Start trolling them back?

Does how they are trolling you make a difference as to how you react? Does the occasional snide little comment on one of your posts rate the same treatment as post stalking attacks? And how do you handle the passive aggressive hater, who never confronts you directly, instead dropping obvious little derogatory blurts about the board?

 

[OxfordDon]

How do you deal with trolls, are even people who just plain don’t like you. Do you ignore them? Put them on ignore? Throw down and get personal? Start trolling them back?

Does how they are trolling you make a difference as to how you react? Does the occasional snide little comment on one of your posts rate the same treatment as post stalking attacks? And how do you handle the passive aggressive hater, who never confronts you directly, instead dropping obvious little derogatory blurts about the board?

answering back is tricky unless you are confident in your own ability to belittle them. Most just want to attract attention so i put them on ignore...

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

How do you deal with trolls, are even people who just plain don’t like you. Do you ignore them? Put them on ignore? Throw down and get personal? Start trolling them back?

Does how they are trolling you make a difference as to how you react? Does the occasional snide little comment on one of your posts rate the same treatment as post stalking attacks? And how do you handle the passive aggressive hater, who never confronts you directly, instead dropping obvious little derogatory blurts about the board?

honestly? Depends on my mood and the extent to which I'm offended.
Only GB'rs and idiot personal posters have actually engaged with me on the boards.
For good reason.
I can write in full sentences AND I'm usually typing with two hands. (That already gives me the home field advantage ..lol

 

[ydahecnot]

Hey, I can type pretty good with one hand.