Emotionalization of Chastity

[Shadowsdream]

Being a Dominant that insists upon being the key holder of the non escapable chastity belt and knowing what it does for both Myself and the toy I torment with this control I often wonder where the head space of other Dominants and submissives is on this subject.

When the chastity question comes up in threads it is often touched in the most humorous of ways and soon disappears..so it makes Me wonder if it is more a small fantasy than a real need.

Perhaps a line or two on how You feel locking it on or how you feel having it locked on will satisfy the curiousity of this nosey Domme!

Or..well you may tell Me the or!

 

[indiandomme]

what i think is....

....

 

[Shadowsdream]

indiandomme


I agree that it is necessary to chastize horny subs (and aren't they all?) but also to add the chastity belt is as much an emotional safety to the sub as it is a Power to the Domme.

 

[Rick DeVille]

Chastity as a form of denial and ultimate control is easily applicable to male subs.

It is a little more complex with female subs.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Rick DeVille

Thank you for your participation in this conversation....could you please give some comments on what makes it more difficult to chastize a female sub.

 

[Rick DeVille]

No, it could be construed as discussing a particular person (even though it’s not) and I won’t have that.

Above all things in D/s privacy and consideration must be maintained.

 

[Rick DeVille]

PS And how are things in Gamla Stan?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Gamla Stan

Ah My favourite part of Stockholm I must admit..such a wonderful walk through history. A bit congested at the moment with tourist season in high gear though.

Of course I did not mean this thread to be a thread of personal exposures of particular subs that might find it hurtful. I would not have the one I care for feel demeaned by any of My posts.

I share what I post with him and also encourage his observations.

Chastity was also a dream of the fem sub I held to My heart in Canada.

 

[cymbidia]

I have *major* fantasies that revolved around the issue of enforced chastity. I've had them as far back as i can remember.

Different dominants in my life have played with different methods of implementing chastity but most of those methods were doomed to failure because, let's face it, those belts - whichever one you're talking about - are just plain irritating and exceeding uncomfortable to wear for extended periods of time. (I'm talking about skin-rubbed-raw-and-bleeding uncomfortable, not just ohhhh-it-doesn't-really-feel-that-good uncomfortable.)

I've been successfully rendered chaste in only one way: via piercings.

When MS was doing all the piercings on me, he used to thread a small light aluminum bar, or some lightweight chain, through the rows of outer labial piercings and lock it in place. There was no way for me to engage in any vagina sex, though anal sex was still a possiblity, of course. He gave me the key with strict instructions that i could only remove the bar/chain to clean myself and if i had to for some family/emergency reason. However, MS is in the past and so, for me, is that one uniquely successful time of enforced chastity.

I'm still wildly enamoured about the possibility of meeting a dominant who is right for me, and who will also further my needs in the area of enforced chastity. Fantasy, yes, for now. But not forever.

You're right, this is an area of control into which not too many venture - and it seems that many less male dominants go here with thier female subs then do female dominants with thier male subs.

 

[SierraMoon]

the idea of forced chastity has always itrigued me.... maybe someday it will come true for me

 

[Shadowsdream]

My fantasy of the moment revolves around when I take My next female submissive into My home 24/7.

she will be fitted with the female version of the Carrera Belt that My male now wears almost constantly.

she will be shown how I can bring her to orgasm even belted just as My male has been taught.


she will be taught endurance and will discover that 2 weeks of enforced chastity do amazing things for submission.

 

[SweetDreamsofU]

ShadowsDream,

I agree that it is necessary to chastize horny subs (and aren't they all?) but also to add the chastity belt is as much an emotional safety to the sub as it is a Power to the Domme.

Would you please explain your meaning further? How does this contribute to the emotional safety of a sub?

Thanks!
SweetD

 

[Shadowsdream]

SweetDreamsofU

Of course I will be happy to explain My reasonings...

When a submissive and a Dominant agree to enter a partnership in BDSM they have first gone through a lengthy negotiation and matching of needs and kinks.

A submissive that has been placed into chastity has had a long time fantasy of this control which entrusts their sexuallity 100% to the Dominant. he or she has the desire to give up all control of orgasms and sexual gratification so that they might taste the edge of frustration with the anticipation of amazing orgasms at the discretion of another. As has often proved obvious, to try to limit oneself in the pleasure arena, the more you try not to satisfy yourself the more you set yourself up to fail. Self orgasms through masturbation become so common and predictable that they almost become an unsatifactory addiction much as smoking is to some people.

During the getting to know each other phase of the relationship this subject should be spoken of in the deepest of details...what is to be lost and what is to be gained. Chastity has no place with a submissive that would find it unendurable but it has a very big place with those that find the *safety* of being unable to touch their genitals to orgasm. The safety is in not being able to fail in obedience or endurance for the One that enjoys the control of the entire sexuality of the one She has given the gift of Her Domination to.

The Power to the Dominant comes through the depth the submissive begins to feel in her or his submission when the most basic expectation of masturbation and orgasms no longer is the main focus of the mind. The Dominant can feel and see and almost taste the change in behaviour. To hold the key to anothers pleasure is a monumental responsibility and the chastity and denial on top of edge training must´be orchestrated to maximize the pride the sub feels in this gift of submission as much as it must be played like a fine violin to ensure when the chastity is removed and the orgasms given, it will be the most astounding sensation ever experienced..Worth the wait and endurance.

I hope that helped.

 

[SweetDreamsofU]

Yes, that explains it beautifully.

Thank you so much!
SweetD

 

[Ebonyfire]

[B
The Power to the Dominant comes through the depth the submissive begins to feel in her or his submission when the most basic expectation of masturbation and orgasms no longer is the main focus of the mind. The Dominant can feel and see and almost taste the change in behaviour. [/B]

I have read time and time again that the change in the demeanor of male subs is very noticable when in enforced chastisy. They becvome more attentive and even seem to be more happy, cause their sexuality is out of their hands.

This is a subject that I would discuss in depth, over time with any 24/7 D/s relationship. It could in fact be a "deal breaker".

Ebony

 

[Quint]

This is rather fascinating, a new area of conscious thought for me. Yes, I've been told to avoid all contact with any erogenous zones (besides cleaning) for a certain length of time, but it's been mostly a game and not a very fun one. I could go longer than I did without orgasm, but only satisfactorily when I simply don't have the interest--or I feel it's more in my interest to deny myself. Not very subbie behavior, I realize upon reflection.

I do know that frequent masturbation has made it harder for me to orgasm in other ways, as well as limiting the ways I CAN orgasm. I'm aggravatingly particular. I would very much like to have you teach me to come without so much as stimulating my clit, Shadowsdream...orgasm on command, orgasm other than clitoral, and prolonged orgasm are all out of my reach. This is a reason why I deny myself pleasure: I want to limit myself as little as possible. Another reason is the sheer blissful torture of unrelieved anticipation. Love that...but only for so long.

The emotional control over it, however, is something I hadn't thought of. Nor am I in a position to know at the moment; to the best of my knowledge, Hunny denied me because he wanted to be able to get me off easily when I returned. Not exactly what you meant. If given the chance, I will definitely explore this further!

 

[Shadowsdream]

a little more dialogue..

I prefer the stainless steel chastity devise for several reasons...the first time I closed the lock and stepped back to view the forced entrapment I was stunned by the authentic beauty of steel on nakedness. It was such a contrast of control on vulnerbility and the look in My toys eyes was one of innocent wonder.

I discovered that all exposed areas close to the steel became super sensitive to My touch...even a soft caress on the inside of the thighs has the submissive arching their body and pelvic region to My hands in the memory of genital contact. It is an automatic response just as is the whimper of need. I can only discribe it as innocent need.

The belt of My choice has a ring around the anus leaving the sub open and exposed even more than usual and ready for the use of My strap on at any time. Simply running My finger nail over this sensitive area can turn the tamest toy into a slut full of desire.

I then discovered that tormenting subs with the green monster on the chastity tube could sit them on the edge of orgasm in less than a minute. I enjoy this edge training very much..sometimes as many as 5 - 13 times before refusing release all together...it is amazing how focused in submission edge training can take a sub much more quickly than anything else I have tried.

A female submissive would recieve the same training, through the steel. The sound of My voice of denial is the perfect compliment to the unscratable itch of the clit hidden but not left untouched by MY hand tools.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Ebony and Quint..

The sub is much happier when the sexual gratification is COMPLETELY out of their hands...this happiness is the supreme belief that someone actually is Dominating for Her own pleasure.

Telling a submissive not to touch is the easy way to think You are controlling but it also sets up the guilt of dishonesty if the sub fails.

Being a key holder means more control but it also means more responsibility...many many many Dominants do not wish this much control. I on the other hand am a bit of a control freak...in the nicest possible way though ~~~grin~~

 

[Shadowsdream]

~cym and siearra...

The dream is worth the wait both for the Dominant and the submissive.

The key should only be put into the hand of the one you would trust with your well being. The one whos torment you crave, for torment We will.

If you have these dreams I recommend you familiarize yourself with all the types, designs and realitys of the belts available.

To waste money on a belt that is escapable is not going to bring satisfaction. Nor is purchasing one that when worn just makes you feel silly by the uglyness of it.

It is a large purchase and should bring you pride and many years of wear.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Ebony and Quint..

The sub is much happier when the sexual gratification is COMPLETELY out of their hands...this happiness is the supreme belief that someone actually is Dominating for Her own pleasure.

Telling a submissive not to touch is the easy way to think You are controlling but it also sets up the guilt of dishonesty if the sub fails.

Being a key holder means more control but it also means more responsibility...many many many Dominants do not wish this much control. I on the other hand am a bit of a control freak...in the nicest possible way though ~~~grin~~

Me too! I am ready, willing and able to exert as much control as I can over my submissive. But I have found that most are afraid of letting go. I am patient.

Ebony

 

[CarolineOh]

I have read this thread over twice.
I have a problem with the idea of enforced chastity, as it would apply to me personally.
My marriage (I'm going to have to start saying "my first marriage"!!) was largely sexless, and to me chastity in my relationship would almost certainly feel like rejection.
but I thank you all for your thought provoking posts on the subject , and I will continue to read with interest.

 

[Shadowsdream]

actually Caroline it is a different type of sexuallity and has the opposite effect of rejection.

When I put a sub into chastity the fanast has been theirs for a very long time..it is a mutual desire.

 

[CarolineOh]

actually Caroline it is a different type of sexuallity and has the opposite effect of rejection.

When I put a sub into chastity the fanast has been theirs for a very long time..it is a mutual desire.

I hope you did not misunderstand me. I have nothing but the highest regard for you, and no reason to doubt your methods.
But to me, emotionally, the idea is terrifying, even though I can intellectually understand the intent and appeal.

 

[Shadowsdream]

~~~smile~~~

no Caroline I did not take you wrong...I was hoping I could ease your mind a little about the possibilities.

 

[Ebonyfire]

It is not for everyone

However, I doubt I would keep a (collared) 24/7 slave who did not wear one eventually. Of course I have no collarted subs as this moment. No of my subs are capable of it (yet).

Ebony