Emotional validation in possession

[Georgia Girl]

The feeling you get from being possessed by someone else, does that equate to love or do you need the words as well?

This could be in the sense of slavery or as a submissive but one that is held to a dominant.

 

[Richard49]

The feeling you get from being possessed by someone else, does that equate to love or do you need the words as well?

This could be in the sense of slavery or as a submissive but one that is held to a dominant.

nice to see you post

We have recently had varications of this discussion here
so I know you will get opposing answers ........

Those that I have collared or wished to collar I have also loved

Some of told me that that is part of my problem with my submissives ... I let them into my head and heart ..........

 

[WynEternal]

The feeling you get from being possessed by someone else, does that equate to love or do you need the words as well?

This could be in the sense of slavery or as a submissive but one that is held to a dominant.

During my pre-marital life as a slave, there was that deep feeling of love and a certain bond between Mistress and I. It was a special kind of commitment that was felt intensely between us and if no one else understood it's rammifications, it didn't matter.

There is a different feeling of love between hub and I, but we also possess each other through marraige (not that I'm saying you have to be married to be in a loving relationship. )

But yes, to me, there was a sense of something there. Since I think there are many different forms of love, I would call the commitment we made a form of that expression.

 

[Richard49]

Love is

Love is the action that takes place when
carring, respect, knowledge and responsiblity converge

 

[WynEternal]

Re: Love is

Love is the action that takes place when
carring, respect, knowledge and responsiblity converge

I think that's a wonderful way of putting it, Richard.

 

[bunny bondage]

love is such a broad term. i love my dad, i love my best friend amber, i love my boots, i love Him, i love japan. but these are all different types of love. what He feels for me is a type of love, as each person loves differently. so i think that the two feelings - that of being owned/dominated and that of being loved - can be the same.

 

[Georgia Girl]

I love my cat

I'm not in love with my cat ........ two very different things.

Having been a collared slave one of the problems that we had was my need for emotional validation. The feeling of being possessed was evident but I needed to know that I was more than a possession or maybe I needed to be more than a possession. This validation was not something he could provide, in his mind being possessed should have been enough.

Therefore instead of "I love you" all he could offer was "I own you". Two different things.

 

[bunny bondage]

I love my cat

I'm not in love with my cat ........ two very different things.

Having been a collared slave one of the problems that we had was my need for emotional validation. The feeling of being possessed was evident but I needed to know that I was more than a possession or maybe I needed to be more than a possession. This validation was not something he could provide, in his mind being possessed should have been enough.

Therefore instead of "I love you" all he could offer was "I own you". Two different things.

i was not in the situation, nor am i the guy to which you refer, so i really don't have a leg to stand on here, but i'm ranting on anyway! perhaps, to him, the feeling of owning someone was his way of loving them; the only way he knew how to love. or maybe he did simply view you as a possession in which case i'm completly with you - that's just not enough to make me happy.

 

[Georgia Girl]

i was not in the situation, nor am i the guy to which you refer, so i really don't have a leg to stand on here, but i'm ranting on anyway! perhaps, to him, the feeling of owning someone was his way of loving them; the only way he knew how to love. or maybe he did simply view you as a possession in which case i'm completly with you - that's just not enough to make me happy.

We discussed it at length, he had no concept or understanding of how to provide emotional validation. A hundred times a day he would reaffirm the possession but that was all.

His thought was that my focus was emotional validation while his focus was service. From the core of my being I believe he is wrong, utterly and completely wrong. Yes I do need emotional validation, I need to be loved as well as possessed but I am meant to serve, I am happiest when I serve.

 

[Azalea]

Re: Re: Emotional validation in possession

Those that I have collared or wished to collar I have also loved

Some of told me that that is part of my problem with my submissives ... I let them into my head and heart ..........

Those words immediately arouse me.....I wish someone could tell me why the very mention of someone "collaring" someone affects me so deeply.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Re: Re: Re: Emotional validation in possession

Those words immediately arouse me.....I wish someone could tell me why the very mention of someone "collaring" someone affects me so deeply.

I can't tell you but I understand completely. There is a longing, a need that goes to the center of who a submissive is to feel that weight of the collar around their neck.

I can't begin to explain how I miss my collar and being held that tightly.

 

[Richard49]

I can not begin to tell you how empty I feel
without having a collared submissive

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Love is

I think that's a wonderful way of putting it, Richard.

Thank you

It is what I believe
and if you look at those 4 beliefs/emotions
IMHO
you also see D/s

 

[Azalea]

I can not begin to tell you how empty I feel
without having a collared submissive

It may not be an appropriate comment, but I must confess I wouldn't mind being your collared submissive.......who better to learn from.

***runs to hide, blushing terminally***

 

[Georgia Girl]

It may not be an appropriate comment, but I must confess I wouldn't mind being your collared submissive.......who better to learn from.

***runs to hide, blushing terminally***

Makes two of us Azalea. I think Richard would be a magical Dominant to learn from and grow with.

To use a bit of symbolism, I can see him nourishing that which is my soul and bringing forth the bloom that is my submission in all its glory.

 

[Richard49]

It may not be an appropriate comment, but I must confess I wouldn't mind being your collared submissive.......who better to learn from.

***runs to hide, blushing terminally***

No reason to blush and run

I find this a great compliment

but sweetee you do have a husband
and live many miles away

 

[Richard49]

Makes two of us Azalea. I think Richard would be a magical Dominant to learn from and grow with.

To use a bit of symbolism, I can see him nourishing that which is my soul and bringing forth the bloom that is my submission in all its glory.

What a beautifuly worded complement

I am blushing now

 

[Georgia Girl]

What a beautifuly worded complement

I am blushing now

I only speak what I believe.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Re: Love is

Love is the action that takes place when
carring, respect, knowledge and responsiblity converge

To use your quote Richard, caring, respect, knowledge, and responsibility would be the four corner post of the structure which is the relationship. Love would be the roof that covered it. The roof can't go on until the corner post are set so those things must come first.

What is the thing that the posts are set in? What makes up the foundation? Shared beliefs, a desire to walk the pathway with each other, common ideals, friendship or is the foundation service?

 

[Azalea]

No reason to blush and run

I find this a great compliment

but sweetee you do have a husband
and live many miles away

Yes, Richard, I do have a husband to whom I have been faithful for 30 years and to whom I will continue to be faithful....my body belongs to him as well as to me.
However, he is not giving me the affirmation and acceptance that my net friends here and on another couple of forums give me, for my writing and for my ideas.

 

[Richard49]

Yes, Richard, I do have a husband to whom I have been faithful for 30 years and to whom I will continue to be faithful....my body belongs to him as well as to me.
However, he is not giving me the affirmation and acceptance that my net friends here and on another couple of forums give me, for my writing and for my ideas.

Then he is to self abcessed

you know though

I have always been there for my friends
and it has meet nothing
so...................................

Who knows what the answer is

not me

 

[spott]

Re: Re: Love is

To use your quote Richard, caring, respect, knowledge, and responsibility would be the four corner post of the structure which is the relationship. Love would be the roof that covered it. The roof can't go on until the corner post are set so those things must come first.

What is the thing that the posts are set in? What makes up the foundation? Shared beliefs, a desire to walk the pathway with each other, common ideals, friendship or is the foundation service?

Trust. The posts are set in trust, the same thing as the walls.
-spott

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Love is

Trust. The posts are set in trust, the same thing as the walls.
-spott

Trust comes from knowledge

{spott...nice to see you are checking out other threads}

 

[Richard49]

Caring and respect balance each other

Caring is wanting the very best for the other person
wanting them to be all they can be

Respect is valuing the mfor who and where they are

Knowledge is that shared language that allows us to see beyond the surface ...... it let us know that whn the other stricks out in anger that that in reality they are in pain ....... we know what they believe and how they actually act .....

Responsiblity is the committment that says we will be there for you when you can not be there for yourself .... without giving up myself

 

[spott]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Love is

Trust comes from knowledge

{spott...nice to see you are checking out other threads}

My knowledge includes history and experience... and those have not been good things...yet.

{checking out other threads 'cause i am BORED!}
-spott