Emily’s NEW positivity and being nice to each other thread

I was sitting at the bar of a local drinkery, enjoying my beer and pretzels. In walks, a man dressed in a black outfit with a black belt tried around his belly. Grabbing my shoulder, he hauled me off my stool, flipped me over his shoulder, and I did a mid-air flip and landed on my back.

“That’s Jujitsu,” he said.

Getting up, I dusted myself off, returned to my seat, and took a sip of my brew.

Quick as a jackrabbit, he spun around and hit my jaw with his foot. Once again, I crashed to the floor.

“That’s a roundhouse kick,” he said.

I stand up, a little perturbed, belly up to the bar, and hold my finger up for a new larger.

Placing his hand on the bar in front of me, he turned and smiled at me. His fist came up and hit my chin with the back of his fist. And once more, I fell to the floor.

“That, my new friend, is a reverse punch.”

Getting up, I walked out of the bar. A few moments later, I came back in. I krept up behind him, hit the back of his head, and he crumpled to the floor.

“That’s a piece of rebar from the construction site next door. You fucking jerk.” I said.
 
In less pleasant news, a whole lot of people at work just got told "lol, sucks to be you, no raises this year."
"Not much was left after the boss's bonus."

I had a job once where the department managers got to share out a discretionary bonus among their team members - and themselves. My boss and her two cronies got the whole lot, no-one else got anything.
 
My father has heard (for seven years running), "We can't give you an increase this year. While you remain the most important employee to our continued success, circumstance beyond your control have caused a stagniation in the profitability of the company. While this is no fault of yours, we still cannot find a way to reward your selfless devotion to the company." New to the excuse this year. "However, you're physical deterioration of the past year concerns us. We'd like you to take off one extra day a month to conserve your strength with the hope this enables you to continue to travel and manage our managers."
 
My father has heard (for seven years running), "We can't give you an increase this year. While you remain the most important employee to our continued success, circumstance beyond your control have caused a stagniation in the profitability of the company. While this is no fault of yours, we still cannot find a way to reward your selfless devotion to the company." New to the excuse this year. "However, you're physical deterioration of the past year concerns us. We'd like you to take off one extra day a month to conserve your strength with the hope this enables you to continue to travel and manage our managers."
That sucks, and the saddest part is that they show concern for your dad. If this were Comcast they would just keep running him until he collapsed, then say, "Man, it sucks that you had a heart attack before you locked in enough years for retirement. NEXT!"
 
That sucks, and the saddest part is that they show concern for your dad. If this were Comcast they would just keep running him until he collapsed, then say, "Man, it sucks that you had a heart attack before you locked in enough years for retirement. NEXT!"
"We notice that you have collapsed to the floor. We would like to remind you that calisthenics, while a health benefit, is strictly to be practiced in your own personal time. The pained gasping you are currently making is also not within company guidelines. Please note that we have docked your pay for the day, and repeat infractions will result in summary termination. Have a Comcast day!"
 
My father has heard (for seven years running), "We can't give you an increase this year. While you remain the most important employee to our continued success, circumstance beyond your control have caused a stagniation in the profitability of the company. While this is no fault of yours, we still cannot find a way to reward your selfless devotion to the company." New to the excuse this year. "However, you're physical deterioration of the past year concerns us. We'd like you to take off one extra day a month to conserve your strength with the hope this enables you to continue to travel and manage our managers."
I have several corporate clients, so I often edit texts like mission statements and stuff like that. They always talk about employees' buy-in, and loyalty, and how they want their people to be ambassadors, and "we all need to pull together and work hard this year."

But the loyalty never seems to work the other way round. As soon as you're no longer useful, out you go with the minimum severance pay they can get away with. And after years of reorganisations, they wonder why their employees aren't dedicated to their company's mission, or engaged with the business model, or whatever.
 
I'm a teacher in a public school. Not only do we not get bonuses, I spend a bunch of my own money on supplies each year. I try to get donations from the parents to help, but that never covers the gap between what we're provided by the school and what the students need. Sure, we get a pittance of a tax write-off, but I spend much more than that.
 
Dad's past retirement age. Situations that caused him to be working for them have prevented him from full retirement.
That sucks, and the saddest part is that they show concern for your dad. If this were Comcast they would just keep running him until he collapsed, then say, "Man, it sucks that you had a heart attack before you locked in enough years for retirement. NEXT!"
Yes, loyalty should be a two-way street.
I have several corporate clients, so I often edit texts like mission statements and stuff like that. They always talk about employees' buy-in, and loyalty, and how they want their people to be ambassadors, and "we all need to pull together and work hard this year."

But the loyalty never seems to work the other way round. As soon as you're no longer useful, out you go with the minimum severance pay they can get away with. And after years of reorganisations, they wonder why their employees aren't dedicated to their company's mission, or engaged with the business model, or whatever.
 
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