Elaine's dog

Ham Murabi

Plumbing the Depths
Joined
Nov 12, 2002
Posts
23,159
Last Friday I agreed to take care of a friend's dog for a long weekend. Elaine's mutt looked mostly like a schnauzer, about 20 pounds, medium build, gray and white hair.
It turned out to be a fun dog and mostly obedient. He liked to lounge on the couch and really enjoyed time in the back yard with me.
As I'd informed Elaine before she left the dog, I was going to keep him in the garage. I didn't want a strange dog roaming the house at night or barking at the moon while tearing up the back yard.
Sunday night-Monday morning the dog was gong apeshit in the garage, barking like mad and loud enough for me to hear. I was just about to go check on him when the barking stopped.
The next morning the dog was gone. I figured Elaine came by early and let him out the back door. Then Elaine showed up at 10.
She left 45 minutes later, alternately furious at me and baffled, like me, about what had happened.
I figured it out earlier this evening over the fence with a neighbor, who casually mentioned that his pet python had escaped about six weeks ago.
 
I don't have the neatest garage. I'm storing shit that belongs to four generations, so much of it that in a space capable of holding three cars I can only fit in one.
Anyway, I opened the double garage door and the single, plus the walk-through back door, positioned the fold-up chair in the driveway facing the garage and sat down.
With the early-morning sun at my back and illuminating the garage, I didn't think it would take long to spot the python if it was moving just a little bit. But apparently it wasn't moving.
Plan B was poking around with a broom. It took about five minutes to find the fat bastard tucked in a corner behind some really old golf equipment. One look at him and I decided a rake might be a better tool.
I'd guess he was 9-10 feet long, a bit sluggish from the meal 48 hours earlier, and not at all opposed to lazing in the sun once I raked him out to the driveway.
Then I called Elaine and told her I'd found her dog.
 
I don't have the neatest garage. I'm storing shit that belongs to four generations, so much of it that in a space capable of holding three cars I can only fit in one.
Anyway, I opened the double garage door and the single, plus the walk-through back door, positioned the fold-up chair in the driveway facing the garage and sat down.
With the early-morning sun at my back and illuminating the garage, I didn't think it would take long to spot the python if it was moving just a little bit. But apparently it wasn't moving.
Plan B was poking around with a broom. It took about five minutes to find the fat bastard tucked in a corner behind some really old golf equipment. One look at him and I decided a rake might be a better tool.
I'd guess he was 9-10 feet long, a bit sluggish from the meal 48 hours earlier, and not at all opposed to lazing in the sun once I raked him out to the driveway.
Then I called Elaine and told her I'd found her dog.
Gift wrapped?
 
I uh...

Erm....

Ya know thoug.....

Bu....

Speechless. Just. Wow.


I guess I would be wondering why the neighbor didn't feel the need to let those geographically closest know that there was a TEN FOOT FUCKING PYTHON roaming about.

Those things eat people, too.
 
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