Ejaculating during a lapdance....

[lemmesee]

The very few times I've visited a strip club and engaged a lapdancer have resulted in me creating a mess in my trousers. The dancer always says "Tell me just before you cum". That's fine for them, but usually my penis is outside my shorts inside my trousers by that point, and when I ejaculate I create a mess. It feels great as it's happening, but it's still a mess. How do men usually handle this?

 

[jackdaw]

The very few times I've visited a strip club and engaged a lapdancer have resulted in me creating a mess in my trousers. The dancer always says "Tell me just before you cum". That's fine for them, but usually my penis is outside my shorts inside my trousers by that point, and when I ejaculate I create a mess. It feels great as its happening, but it's still a mess. How do men usually handle this?

By not touching ourselves . . .

. . . or by avoiding going to such places perhaps?? Take yourself out of harm's way, in other words!

 

[amofiga]

I just asked my husband about this, he's had his fair share of lapdances and he said he's never cum during one. He didn't even know how it would be possible to cum from a lap dance alone.

I agree. I true lapdance at most places means no physical contact so it might be tough to cum just by thought alone. Then again, it's also not impossible. Dick out of shorts....squirming and rubbing on pants......really horny...

I agree that if you don't want a mess, don't opt for the lap dance. If you know the situation and past history, better tell the lass that you'd like to wrap your little friend in Kleenex at some point. If that doesn't bother her and she doesn't leave, then she probably won't be grossed out by your wanting to save on dry cleaning expenses. Then, if she gets you to nirvana, give her a nice tip.

 

[lemmesee]

I greatly thank these Lit folks for reading and responding....but the thought comes to mind that perhaps some male S/O's aren't reporting their experiences accurately ;-) ....the lapdances I'm referring to are not simply social interactions with lovely ladies....I can surely get more graphic if Lit members need it or want it....but the purpose of the lapdances I'm referring to here have the full purpose and intention of causing an ejaculation....hence, my question....

 

[TeaforMe]

First thing that came to mind when I read this was ewwww. Once I got past the heebee jeebeebies of it, I thought maybe you could slip a condom on it so it can catch the ejaculation for you. I am assuming that at some point you are releasing your penis from your shorts so that it receives more contact, so slip it on then.

Ok, time for a shower now.

 

[amofiga]

I greatly thank these Lit folks for reading and responding....but the thought comes to mind that perhaps some male S/O's aren't reporting their experiences accurately ;-) ....the lapdances I'm referring to are not simply social interactions with lovely ladies....I can surely get more graphic if Lit members need it or want it....but the purpose of the lapdances I'm referring to here have the full purpose and intention of causing an ejaculation....hence, my question....

So you're going with the "full contact" lapdance with the intent of getting off and not just watching, then obviously the tissues or napkin is the option. Putting on the condom means taking it out of your pants and that could cross a line from lapdance to something else which could get the establishment in trouble.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've only cum once from a lap dance, but it wasn't typical. It was at a pretty sleazy place where the dancers could take you in the back for a "private dance" this could be a BJ or sex, depending on what you pay for.

I sure as hell didn't want my cock in either hole, but paid an extra forty dollars and she let me tit fuck her.

I don't go to clubs often, but usually get a dance or two when I do. I've never cum (or come close) during one.

Closest was probably at the Foxy Lady where you can shower with a dancer. They're nude, but you have to be wearing shorts. I have to say she got me prtty close, but we ran out of time

 

[lemmesee]

Ok, I be a little more graphic....

....this is a large room in a strip club....lots of men milling around, as well as topless girls milling about and on stage....flashing strobe lights....loud bump and grind music....bouncers, the whole nine yards....the man, fully clothed sits on a sofa/couch, slouching a wee bit, but knees together....his bands are at his side because local law does not allow men to touch the girls or the girls to touch the men....he is already erect and has selected and paid the fee to a dancer....being that he is fully clothed his penis is laying flat-ish under his trousers and pointing toward his belly, the sensitive underside is on top....the girl straddles his lap, facing him, leaning toward him and holding herself by putting her arms forward and resting her hands on the sofa/couch at either side of his head, with her knees on either side of his hips....she is heavily-perfumed and topless, but wearing bikini-type bottoms....her clothed mons rests on the upper side of his fully-clothed penis....then she dry-humps him to the ongoing bump and grind music....her perfumed breasts sway within inches of his face....she says "Be sure to tell me just before you cum" (because she doesn't want any of his semen to leak through his trousers onto her mons, regardless of the fact that her mons is covered)....the man can't hold this for very long under these circumstances....he announces that he's gonna have his cum, she hops off his lap, and he ejaculates his semen into his trousers, and tips her ....and if he's a nice fellow, he verbally thanks her ....but he has a mess in his trousers :-( ....

I hope that this clarifies the process....

 

[box13]

I think most of us had it figured out before. You cum in your pants, and then you have to waddle out the door with a big wet stain over your crotch and semen running down your leg while the work staff points and giggles. Kinda spoils the rest of the evening.

Honestly, and I apologize in advance because I can only sound sarcastic, no matter how helpful I try to be...you're looking at some kind of "absorbent underwear for men" kind of thing. You can't change the fact that you ejaculate. Evidently there's no brochure at the door with any kind of helpful advice. There's no dispenser in the men's room "condoms, cologne, and 'stay-free peenie pads'" kind of thing (thinking of that skit on SNL once, which kind of addressed this issue).

I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.

I sure as hell didn't want my cock in either hole, but paid an extra forty dollars and she let me tit fuck her.

Good thinking. You'd never get herpes that way.

 

[SkylarFalling]

I'm female, so this isn't really my strong point, but I'm thinking take briefs of boxerbriefs, and ask her if it's ok to pause and slip a tissue in the dick bit just to soak up some of the mess.
I'd also say you could either bring a (small and pocketable) spare pair of boxers or just wear boxers you don't really care about and nip off to toilets and bin them. You could clean yourself up with them too.

I know its harder to get a cubicle in the mens but when I've been leaking cum myself I've had panties off, cleaned myself up with the dry bits and just balled them up into the bottom of my bag.

Sorry if none of this is useful. I have never had my pants filled with cum without my boyfriend filling me with it first.

 

[amofiga]

I'm female, so this isn't really my strong point, but I'm thinking take briefs of boxerbriefs, and ask her if it's ok to pause and slip a tissue in the dick bit just to soak up some of the mess.
I'd also say you could either bring a (small and pocketable) spare pair of boxers or just wear boxers you don't really care about and nip off to toilets and bin them. You could clean yourself up with them too.

I know its harder to get a cubicle in the mens but when I've been leaking cum myself I've had panties off, cleaned myself up with the dry bits and just balled them up into the bottom of my bag.

Sorry if none of this is useful. I have never had my pants filled with cum without my boyfriend filling me with it first.

Now.....THIS is a good story. Love thinking about that cum runing down your leg or soaking the crotch of your panties. Yes indeed. I once had a lady who told me that after we fucked and she was driving home or back to work, she liked to put her hand into her panties, play with the leaking cum, and then lick her fingers.

 

[SkylarFalling]

Now.....THIS is a good story. Love thinking about that cum runing down your leg or soaking the crotch of your panties. Yes indeed. I once had a lady who told me that after we fucked and she was driving home or back to work, she liked to put her hand into her panties, play with the leaking cum, and then lick her fingers.

I really love the sticky naughtiness of it, but can relate to the OP that it's kind of difficult to clean up. And its hard not to do a funny walk if it comes down your leg.
Speaking of which, keeping a layer of pubic hair on is helpful for keeping all the cum in one place at the time - something I've noticed by chance, I've never been hairy in order to soak up cum before....although it is a thought - but tends to result in a sad matted mess afterwards.

This is my weird life.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Learn your trigger point is probably the best answer. I've gotten HIGHLY aroused by a few dedicated dancers, but I've been able to maintain my composure. If this is a repeated issue, I believe the question is bragging and not really a question. Good job finding a good club!

 

[lemmesee]

Once I tried putting on a condom in the john just before the lapdance session....I just put it on the head of my penis and left a little gap at the end to catch the semen....but, since I was flaccid at the time, the condom slipped off during the early part of the rubbing session and I ejaculated into my trousers anyway....the real problem is that usually a man's penis slips through the undershorts flap during the session so than when he ejaculates it's right up against his slacks....that's a further mess because, as the lady said, there's a wetness spot on the outside and the semen runs down the the inside of the pantleg :-( ....yes, this all feels really good when it's happening....and when you're a relatively young man, the sessions are quite brief....realize that there's an attractive set of perfumed bouncing bare breasts sometimes sometimes so close that they even touch your face....this tends to cause the semen to flow quite soon....

 

[Corbal]

Ok, I be a little more graphic....

....this is a large room in a strip club....lots of men milling around, as well as topless girls milling about and on stage....flashing strobe lights....loud bump and grind music....bouncers, the whole nine yards....the man, fully clothed sits on a sofa/couch, slouching a wee bit, but knees together....his bands are at his side because local law does not allow men to touch the girls or the girls to touch the men....he is already erect and has selected and paid the fee to a dancer....being that he is fully clothed his penis is laying flat-ish under his trousers and pointing toward his belly, the sensitive underside is on top....the girl straddles his lap, facing him, leaning toward him and holding herself by putting her arms forward and resting her hands on the sofa/couch at either side of his head, with her knees on either side of his hips....she is heavily-perfumed and topless, but wearing bikini-type bottoms....her clothed mons rests on the upper side of his fully-clothed penis....then she dry-humps him to the ongoing bump and grind music....her perfumed breasts sway within inches of his face....she says "Be sure to tell me just before you cum" (because she doesn't want any of his semen to leak through his trousers onto her mons, regardless of the fact that her mons is covered)....the man can't hold this for very long under these circumstances....he announces that he's gonna have his cum, she hops off his lap, and he ejaculates his semen into his trousers, and tips her ....and if he's a nice fellow, he verbally thanks her ....but he has a mess in his trousers :-( ....

I hope that this clarifies the process....

So, it's a classy joint.

 

[Que]

I tend to get lap dances by way of apology for talking their ears off. Their time is valuable. I although I am a big fan of dry-humping...I can't imagine getting off from a lap-dance where I am the "humpee" and not the humper. I need to control speed and rhythm or it isn't gonna happen.

"Her perfumed breasts.." My experience has been the good ones tend to be fairly neutral..can't have husband's and boyfriends going home smelling like they have been in a bordello.

 

[BeeTeeTiger]

It was a few years back, but the last time I had a lap dance, the chick was waaaaay to worried about what she looked like in the mirror behind me, primping for after me, that it wasn't all that enjoyable..

But the time before, different place, that girl almost raped my cock through my pants.. She would put her hand between her legs while gliding back and forth almost giving me a handjob while pressing her breasts on my face and talking verrrrrrry dirty in my ear.. I could imagine getting off to one that good.. I didn't make a mess, but she must've enjoyed it a little, because she left a wet spot on my pants..

 

[Aphro]

Are these girls extra skilled? I am doubting I could ever get a guy off from just humping his dick over his clothes...I could be wrong though.

 

[Emerson40]

I think the OP was just wanting to share stories about his spoogy semen spills leaving splotchy stains in his trousers.

If you can't control when that thing goes off, keep your peni in your breifs. Or buy some rubber underpants (they make 'em for big boys too).

lemmesee jizzy pants asks:

How do men usually handle this?

I walk into the strip club with a big - Costco B I G - pack of baby wipes and tell glitter-tits to put Welcome To The Jungle on repeat and shake her boobs until the Washingtons run out.

 

[BeeTeeTiger]

The one was giving me a handjob though my pants like Vince Vaughn got in Wddding Crashers... LOL

 

[HAL9001UK]

I've never cum with a lapdance, and that is ok

So, I have never 'done the dirty' in my pants with a lap-dance, and do not expect to. It's all a bit of fun with a fit young chick grinding on you and boobs in face for 4 minutes. Nothing more, nothing less. She gives you a bit of fun, you pay her, end of story. You have a big smile on your face and get another beer. Cumming is kinda gross in that scenario imho. Go home and do that. Saying that, I have not been to other, more adventurous, places ahem.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

Are these girls extra skilled? I am doubting I could ever get a guy off from just humping his dick over his clothes...I could be wrong though.

It would be my guess that you could do that quite well with a bit of practice.

 

[MrRandyWatson]

I've only had one lap dance in my life. The stripper was exceedingly nice and tried her best to make me feel at ease, but I was insanely nervous - dry mouth, hands shaking, extremely uncomfortable, not even sure why I was doing it. Needless to say, I wasn't anywhere near blowing my load.

I don't know if I'd ever do something like it again.

 

[Beck31]

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[JamieJ424]

Is this a joke?

First of all, and forgive me for sounding judgemental, but...eew.

Second of all, are you really asking for help managing the mess in your pants when you're basically paying someone to make you mess your pants?

My honest and heartfelt advice is this: Find a girlfriend. Then when you get a lap dance...it's a whole different thing.

J