Drawing the Line

[MorgaineLaFay]

Is there ever a point in your life, when you find you just need to draw the line with a family member?

Cut off ties, to ease the pain of all.

How do you do it?

Does the guilt ever stop?

Or do you just bite the bullet because they are family? And continue to take the pain.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Freya]

Is there ever a point in your life, when you find you just need to draw the line with a family member?

Cut off ties, to ease the pain of all.

How do you do it?

Does the guilt ever stop?

Or do you just bite the bullet because they are family? And continue to take the pain.

I don't speak to one of my brothers anymore. He's two years older than me, has never held a job, grows pot in the basement of his house, tells my daughter how she should get that birth control shot because doing drugs doesn't interfere with it at all, and other assorted moronic things - yet feels he has the right to cast judgement on my life and my daughter. He stuck his nose in where it didn't belong one too many times, and that was the end of my relationship with him. I have no guilt.

 

[freakygirl]

Same questions I've asked myself many times..

I don't have the answer yet. So far, I've bit the bullet so hard my teeth hurt.

Good Luck, Morgy. I know you will do what is right for you.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Boundaries are a very important thing.

 

[scrymettet]

It's not an easy think to do but sometimes you have to.
Dead weights can sink you. Clean cuts are better then rotting wounds.
You have an "ignore" feature in your mind as well. Use it.
Mine is working.

 

[Eumenides]

I like to draw the line with a felt tip marker.

Seriously, though...I cannot imagine anyone in my family who i have to deal with regularly doing anything that would make me want to draw the line. I hope I never have to.

I have trouble drawing the line in any relationship. I have begun to get better at it, and I am better at letting the relationship fade away. I do, however, suffer healthwise. Therefore, sometimes I think it would be better to break things away quickly, like pulling a bandaid off swiftly.

I haven't been much help here, but I can stream of conscious with the best of them.

 

[Guest]

Rain Maker, if a relationship is toxic to your life and very being, it has no place. Though the decision would be terribly painful, you need to weigh healthy versus unhealthy. We can't choose family but we can choose how we live our lives- to an extent. But, that's another thread. *smile*
I've done it. It hurt. But, our relationship has rekindled and has become all the better, for it. Just because you say goodbye now does not mean it is forever.

Good luck, sweets. I'm here.

 

[capricious_chic]

Is there ever a point in your life, when you find you just need to draw the line with a family member?

Cut off ties, to ease the pain of all.

How do you do it?

Does the guilt ever stop?

Or do you just bite the bullet because they are family? And continue to take the pain.

Yes. Sadly, if the relationship is harmful or toxic to you. The line needs to be drawn, and if necessary the ties severed.

Cutting off ties does not always necessarily ease all the pain. It will lessen, as it is no longer something you have to deal with on a day to day basis. In all things, time will help to ease the pain. It is a matter of looking inwards and deciding if it would be more healthy to continue on as is, or to make the change. It is somewhat co-dependant to stay in an unhealty relationship. You would not chose friends that treated you as such, why chose to stay involved with a family member.. just because they are "family".

Cold turkey. No fanfare, no announcements.

Yes. Eventually you realize that YOU are deserving of a stress free and happy life.


I realized the other day, that it has been over 11 years since I have interacted with some family members. I needed to fill out paperwork at a doctors office, and I discovered that I have started to forget things about them. Perhaps a sad commentary, yet I did not feel the urge to run home and pick up the phone.

 

[LordLucan74]

Re: Re: Drawing the Line

I don't speak to one of my brothers anymore. He's two years older than me, has never held a job, grows pot in the basement of his house, tells my daughter how she should get that birth control shot because doing drugs doesn't interfere with it at all, and other assorted moronic things - yet feels he has the right to cast judgement on my life and my daughter. He stuck his nose in where it didn't belong one too many times, and that was the end of my relationship with him. I have no guilt.

Crikey!!! Even I can get along woth my siblings!!!! How sad your situation is....

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Day two. Of many...of years even, of drawing the line.

Now that I am a adult, it only seems to be harder.

One would think...that a parent would know better then to put their children through this shit.

I see it as a attention getter. She see's it as a need to freak everyone out. There must be some drama in her corner at all times.

After years of being her parent, and never having a mother of my own. I find it time to call it quits. My cost in this...my father...he will be her card to play against me. And I will lose.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[ridddder]

Wasn't that a song by Tommy James?

Nope that was draggin the line..... sorry

 

[LukkyKnight]

...

After years of being her parent, and never having a mother of my own. I find it time to call it quits. My cost in this...my father...he will be her card to play against me. And I will lose.

That would be unfortunate, obviously, but don't create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Fathers are not always nothing but a mother's husband.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

What about the ones that are weak and let her push them around...just cause they are too tired too fight anymore?

Giving up me...is one less fight he has to hear. That is what I see happening. Sad as it is, and as close as we are. This is what he is doing.

A man with so many dreams still...is flushing them away.

 

[LukkyKnight]

A man has to pick where he expends his energy, just as a woman does. Not all people are created equal, let alone identically, but I submit that a father can care as deeply as a mother about his child(ren). Don't sell him short, but do listen to your intuition.

 

[calypso_21]

Is there ever a point in your life, when you find you just need to draw the line with a family member?

Cut off ties, to ease the pain of all.

How do you do it?

Does the guilt ever stop?

Or do you just bite the bullet because they are family? And continue to take the pain.

No don't take the bullet...I've had to do this with my sister. I'm missing her greatly but I can't stand the way she is. I won't allow it and won't stand by to be treated that way. The lack of negativity she brought into my life on a regular basis is no longer there and though I miss her I prefer loving her from this distance.

 

[HeavyStick]

*stalking morgy and caly*

 

[pinkhawk]

Maybe your Dad needs to see that it can be done. Show him what its like to be strong!