Don't wanna hurt her...

[_Marinos_]

So I met a young girl a few months ago. Quiet type, very reserved and keeps to herself. I was suprised when we hit the bed room that she would turn into such an animal, because she is like a nun in real life!

I haven't discussed this with my friends, because I feel they wouldn't understand (the closed minded type), however I am in need of some advice. She's into some light BDSM; likes to be spanked, have her hair pulled, called a dirty slut, cockslaped, deep throated and so forth.

My problems are that I try to be gentle when I'm doin those things, as I dont want to hurt her (I work out religously, and feel I'd snap her in half if I tryed to hard) however she keeps asking to be hit, pulled and spanked harder everytime. When i do try a little harder (emphasis on the world little) i often "over do" it, and I feel as if im seriously hurting her evan though she seems to enjoy it. Exactly how blinded could she possibly be to REAL injury or bodily harm?

My next problem is that when she climax's, she digs her long nails into my back, and leaves deep scratch marks which are almost 10-14 inches long. This is becoming very painfull and embarassing for me, how long can i pretend a Kat is doing this to me?

Any tips or sugestions would be much apreciated.

 

[PhilGarlic]

Don't know about not hurting her, but the body is great at self mending (within reason)
but get her to cut her nails short, that will do wonders for the back.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

<edited>

 

[_Marinos_]

<edited>

but get her to cut her nails short, that will do wonders for the back.

Excellent, thanks for the tip, I didn't think of that.

 

[CutieMouse]

You say *you* feel like you're hurting her; how does she feel? There are people who can take a lot more pain- under the right circumstances- than one would expect. For a masochist, pain just makes the climax all that much sweeter.

There are parts of the body that can take a harder strike than others, with lesser risk of injury- fleshy part of the buttocks, compared to the top of the buttocks (near the tail bone), for example. I'd suggest reading a basic BDSM book such as The Loving Dominant by John Warren, which will have sections that go over how to safely play with spanking/flogging/pain sorts of things. Once you are a bit more educate as to how and where to strike, you might feel more comfortable doing so.

 

[tantrickmagick]

cravings...

My husband is a big, strong, football player-looking black man. I am 5 foot tall (but pretty solid). He is NEVER rough enough with me. He spanks, he pulls hair, he strangles, and he uses force, but I think he too, holds back a little because he's afraid he'll hurt me. When he slaps my tits, I want him to leave marks. when he spanks me I want my ass to sting long after we are done. when he slaps my pussy, I squirt so hard that he can't really be rougher with that. But My answer to you is that I don't think you will hurt her. I crave it, as I think she does.

 

[Marquis]

Hey guys, I did some editing in this thread to try and keep it alive. I suggest that you take a look at the forum guidelines before posting _Marinos_

Any further inappropriate references and this thread is a ghost.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Hey guys, I did some editing in this thread to try and keep it alive. I suggest that you take a look at the forum guidelines before posting _Marinos_

Any further inappropriate references and this thread is a ghost.

DAYUM!

What did they post? What did they post?

I mean, for real.... I'm a real sadistic bastard and posted some off the wall stuff... but the only post I've EVER had pulled or edited was on a personals thread when I called "plagiarism" (or being an alt) on the goof for doing a word for word copy of someone else's personal ad. Dumb cluck didn't think someone would notice a cut and paste? WTF?

I Never did get the mods to own up to yanking my reply though...

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... When i do try a little harder (emphasis on the world little) i often "over do" it, and I feel as if im seriously hurting her evan though she seems to enjoy it. Exactly how blinded could she possibly be to REAL injury or bodily harm? ...

Doesn't sound like she's blind to the possibility of being harmed, but that you are uncertain of the control you have over the level of force you are applying, or are just uncomfortable with administering the level of stimulation she is seeking.

That's your issue, not hers.

*edited to remove any advice that might be construed as advice in dealing with anyone who is not over the age of adulthood as opposed to the age of consent which is NOT the same bloody thing.*

 

[the captians wench]

So I met a young girl a few months ago. Quiet type, very reserved and keeps to herself. I was suprised when we hit the bed room that she would turn into such an animal, because she is like a nun in real life!

I haven't discussed this with my friends, because I feel they wouldn't understand (the closed minded type), however I am in need of some advice. She's into some light BDSM; likes to be spanked, have her hair pulled, called a dirty slut, cockslaped, deep throated and so forth.

My problems are that I try to be gentle when I'm doin those things, as I dont want to hurt her (I work out religously, and feel I'd snap her in half if I tryed to hard) however she keeps asking to be hit, pulled and spanked harder everytime. When i do try a little harder (emphasis on the world little) i often "over do" it, and I feel as if im seriously hurting her evan though she seems to enjoy it. Exactly how blinded could she possibly be to REAL injury or bodily harm?

My next problem is that when she climax's, she digs her long nails into my back, and leaves deep scratch marks which are almost 10-14 inches long. This is becoming very painfull and embarassing for me, how long can i pretend a Kat is doing this to me?

Any tips or sugestions would be much apreciated.

It's always the quiet ones. *grins* Most of the people who would see me on the street or those I interact with on a regular basis wouldn't suspect a thing. Especially when I dress more conservitively. The kinky slut you can bring home to mom.

As to hurting her, I think she'll tell you when it's too much. I had one friend who used to lift me off the ground by my pony tail. The first time he did it he warned me that my pony tail wasn't safe around him then he showed me why. He was very surprized when I loved it and that my hair is so strong I didn't loose a stand of it from the experience. And I'm not a little girl. As to being blinded by real harm, I don't think she is. I know I love bruses that last for days or weeks even. I think as long as you're not breaking bones it's not real harm, and some people are even into that. Talk to her about it, see how much she thinks is too much and come up with a way for her to let you know when you're hitting that point.

As to the nail thing, that's easy, you bind her writs to the bed first.

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

First and foremost, by "young girl" I certainly hope that she is of legal age and also that both of you are of an appropriate maturity level to engage in such behavior. I won't get into a debate about what that definitive line is I'm just putting that out there.

As for how much is not enough, enough, too much, etc. That is highly situational. What one can take in stride may be extreme to another. And to further complicate matters, what one may take in stride during one scene, might be too much in the next.

It's all about trust, communication (in all of it's forms, spoken and otherwise), learning your partner and yourself, and being able to read and understand what can be an ever changing situation.

I will not necessarily say that you are the one with an issue here because I know full well that when I fall completely into a scene with Mistress, I become so engrossed in the feelings and so desperate to please her and make her proud that I could easily allow her or myself to do actual harm. My mouth doesn't always relay the same information my body does. That is where her knowledge, experience, and self-discipline have to kick in. She has to know if I can actually take more of whatever she is doing or if I just think I can take more of whatever she is doing. I might be begging for more and when asks if I'm okay I may eagerly grunt yes, yes, yes but my purpling restrained flesh, or tiny blood streaks or what have you, will tell her the real story.

Likewise, I need to do my best to be in touch with my body and to give her honest input. On both ends of that spectrum. Sometimes my mind might be fighting the bit and it makes things seem far more intense than what they really are and I may give input that isn't exactly accurate. And on the other end like I explained above.

It's a delicate balance and a mutual dance that requires two active and aware participants.

The very first rule of this type play that I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned yet is SAFE, SANE, CONSENSUAL (SSC)!!!!!! Now, those terms and definitions can get debated and pondered and I'm not going that deep but you should ALWAYS have those things in both of your minds. I have fantasies that I know are beyond our physical abilities.

And the use and honoring of safewords and safe-signs is critical, especially for "beginers."

Those are just some thoughts off the top of my head. And we haven't delved into the mental and emotional aspects of this type activity...

 

[FurryFury]

If she likes to be hurt and you don't enjoy that perhaps you should rethink the relationship.

Fury

 

[softnsassy]

My next problem is that when she climax's, she digs her long nails into my back, and leaves deep scratch marks which are almost 10-14 inches long. This is becoming very painfull and embarassing for me, how long can i pretend a Kat is doing this to me?

Any tips or sugestions would be much apreciated.

Since she' into bdsm, try a bit of bondage with her. tie her wrists away from your back or at the least hold her wrists down while she climaxes. It's a real turnon plus will save your back.

softnsassy

 

[b1111]

Yes...

...tie her, slap her and hurt her, you should be lucky to have girl like her who is giving herself all to you... make her happy... she deserves it all...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Maybe she isn't concerned about injury. You could try using a safeword to help you feel better, and also give you time to learn how to read her responses. Most of all I think you both need to discuss this more than indication what she wants etc., so you both understand the boundaries a lot better and can help each other to make it work. As to the fingernails, she might actually think you get off on it, so once again you need to talk about it and if she wants you to dominate her, start there by telling her if she does it again, you will punish her....and make sure if there is a need to that you carry through on your word.

Catalina

 

[Kellandi]

No one at the gym believes it was a cat!!!

Watch a video on childbirth and the delusion of hurting her will fade away.

 

[blanketpatterns]

Watch a video on childbirth and the delusion of hurting her will fade away.

That's an awesome idea... I've recently taken up with a man who's so sweet and gentle that I scream in frustration. (You can take the girl out of the lifestyle but you can't take the lifestyle out of the girl, lol.)