Doms that don't know they're Doms...subs that don't know their subs..ie. CONFUSION!

[boyvenus4u]

Trawling through some of the posts and threads here, and relating in general to people that I have met and converstions and thoughts that I have had...etc

Leads me to the above topic.

How many people out there are familiar, or have encountered, for example a female dom who was unaware of the fact that she was one, or perhaps for that matter a male sub who was posing as a dom?

This thread is in some way in response to previous threads posted here concerning phony subs etc...But, I feel with an added edge.

Whereas before, I think I am right in saying, what we were dealing with were people who were falsely projecting an image of themselves, for whatever personal reason. Usually out of cowardice.

But the question I am posing here seems to me to be almost even more perverted, and deeply more complicated.

At least in the former the phony can be exposed for what they are, that is as impersonators.

But in this latter case, we are dealing with impersonators that are not even aware that they are in fact impersonating a sexual persona.

Fortunately for me I have extracted myself from such unholy encounters, for they really are emotional dragnets that will suck you down into the very dooms of psychological slaughterhouse, and you're not even getting paid as an unqualified psychologist only getting dragged deeper and deeper into the unspeakable morass.

Would love to hear similar histories of unmitigated mental torture from others, just so as to empathise and to perhaps console myself and feel that I am not so all alone in my dealings with the aforementioned dread fiends from hell.

Ah! The power of such verbal release....already I am escaping them...the phantom hordes of such brimming sexual confusion...

 

[SpectreT]

Doesn't matter what you do or where you go. There are going to be people who are unwilling or unable to take the time to do the introspection, or have never been exposed to enough information, to properly know themselves.

 

[SweetDommes]

The first boy that we played with r/t was one of these. He proclaimed himself to be a switch because he was able to Top submissives successfully. He knew what they wanted, and how to give it to them, and the thought that made him Dominant. He admitted that he only started doing it because he couldn't find a female Dominant to play with - and he began to enjoy it because he could bring the other submissives pleasure ... but that doesn't make him Dominant, IMO. His submissive nature just oozed out of him most of the time, but he always insisted that he was a switch, that we just hadn't seen the "Dom-mode" yet *snort-laugh*

I've also seen many other males and females who just didn't realize that they were Dominant or submissive. I work with a woman who is definitely submissive to males, and would abuse a submissive male if they dated (seriously, we talked about it one day - and she kept referring to a submissive male being weak ... it took about an hour to get her to quit that *sigh*). She has never openly (or privately, to my knowledge) acknowledged this, but I bet if she did, she'd be able to find herself a man that she's more compatable with than the ones she's been dating. I can give long lists of those who are not self-aware, either due to a lack of introspection, or due to outright denial.

 

[boyvenus4u]

This is exactly the kind of thing that I'm talking about

Sweetdommes. And I bet if you were to suggest even for one minute your thoughts, referring to this woman above, she would feign rightuous indignation...It's sad, because first, you see yourself when you yourself were confused, here I speak for myself, and you know that nothing that you can say or possibly do can ever ammend the situation. In other words they're going to have to find out for themselves, the hard way. So your time is completely wasted with them, for they're caught in this vicious circle that's self perpetuating...until one day they are going to have to face up and get off it, their sexual mis-merrygo round, and go out and boldly find what they are really after. That's when they get sexy as hell, of course. But the cruelty and irony about this last part is that you, usually, won't be around to witness the metamorphosis...A well! Cest la vie.

 

[Netzach]

Maybe other people's mistakes are just theirs to make.

Maybe you don't know everything about people you meet. I don't telegraph anything, maybe a little aloof and shy. I'm the last person in a room you will think owns a singletail and uses it on her husband.

 

[boyvenus4u]

people could be encouraged more Netzach..

that's all i'm saying...but, unfortunately most people LIKE to see people kinda scared and confused...they're easier to manipulate that way...play on their fears...sexual liberation, as you well know...brings a lot more freedom with it then just a few good orgasms, thank the good rock...

Empowerment, that's all I'm advocating...empowerment...giving people the oppurtunity to choose... As opposed to "Don't do this, and Don't do dat!"...
Ninnyhammers....

your point about best kept secrets was also taken, and much appreciated...your husband is a lucky man, no doubt.